From Stan Kegel: Two cadets at an Arizona Air force academy were bragging in their off time about what good hunters they were. Well, it seems that they decided to have a contest, and whoever won the contest would be accounted the better hunter. To make the things a little more interesting, they each put up a pint of the best whiskey they could find. There had been rumors that a lion had escaped the local zoo and was roaming around loose in the desert that surrounded the academy. The contest was that whoever bagged the lion and brought it back to base was the winner. The first cadet borrowed a large hunting rifle and set about hunting down the lion in the conventional manner. The second cadet, who was perhaps a bit more inventive than his counterpart, secured a training jet from the local commander, loaded the wing guns with live ammunition and headed out over the dessert in search of the lion. It wasn't long before he spotted it, and, from the safety of the plane, killed it. He took the plane down, loaded the lion's body into the copilot's seat, and headed back to base, where he promptly downed both bottles. Which proves that a strafed lion is the shortest distance between two pints. ====-==== ====-==== ====-==== ====-==== ====-==== Buffalo told this one: A salesman, engineer, and a technician are driving just outside of town when they get a flat tire. The three get out of the car and scratch their heads. The salesman says, "Maybe I should walk into town and get us a new tire. I'm sure that I can bargain with the man at the parts store and get us a great deal." The engineer stops him, saying, "No, before you do that, we'll have to do some computations; figuring the grade of the road, the asphalt temperture, and the average rate of speed we will be travelling, to know what kind of tire you should buy." The technician just laughs and shakes his head... "No, no, no! What's wrong with you guys? We have a spare tire right in the trunk -- now all we have to do is start swapping tires until we find the flat one." ====-==== ====-==== ====-==== ====-==== ====-==== -= I can only please one person a day; today may not be YOUR day; tomorrow doesn't LOOK real good, either. =- Eat More Possum