WIFE 1.0 SOFTWARE ALERT!! Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included with the product information. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!!!!!! Thanks, A Troubled User. REPLY: Dear Troubled User: This is a very common problem that men complain about. It is due to a primary misconception among men. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is merely a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by it's creator to run everything! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating systems files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than in the original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under "Warnings--Alimony/Child Support." I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application Yes Dear to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that you read the entire section regarding "General Partnership Faults (GPF?s)." You must assume all responsibility for any faults and problems that occur, regardless of their cause. You will also find that GPF?s are cyclical. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Remember the system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all GPF's. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0), and Do Bills 4.2. You must, however, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 should this happen. WARNING!!!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Best of luck, Tech Support

how do people think of this stuff, that was so funny! ----- Original Message ----- From: E Clardy To: [email protected] Sent: Friday, December 05, 2008 5:04 AM Subject: [GENHUMOR] INSTALLING A WIFE WIFE 1.0 SOFTWARE ALERT!! Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included with the product information. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!!!!!! Thanks, A Troubled User. REPLY: Dear Troubled User: This is a very common problem that men complain about. It is due to a primary misconception among men. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is merely a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by it's creator to run everything! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating systems files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than in the original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under "Warnings--Alimony/Child Support." I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application Yes Dear to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that you read the entire section regarding "General Partnership Faults (GPF?s)." You must assume all responsibility for any faults and problems that occur, regardless of their cause. You will also find that GPF?s are cyclical. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Remember the system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all GPF's. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0), and Do Bills 4.2. You must, however, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 should this happen. WARNING!!!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Best of luck, Tech Support ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to [email protected] with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message Internal Virus Database is out of date. Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.9.12/1822 - Release Date: 12/1/2008 8:23 AM

Dear Tech Support, My friend passed on your advice to me about use of the Wife 1.0 software. I had this installed for several years and considered an upgrade several times. Following persistent problems, however, I found a way of removing it, though it has left me with a lot of problems. The process was quite lengthy, and involved the initial installation of the Separation 1.0 module. The immediate effect this had was to stop the child processing, but since then I have been plagued with pop-ups that I cannot control, as well a drain on my cache. When I bought Separation 1.0 I was told that it would then be possible to install Girlfriend 7.0, but that has come with its own complications. Girlfriend 7.0 comes in two editions, "professional" and "home". The "professional" edition is very well marketed and comes with a cache-management system, allowing you to manage that aspect of it yourself. However, I have had reports that the software still accesses the cache in background mode, and this can drain resources rapidly. The "home" edition can be a very pleasant piece of software to use, but has to be installed in its own partition. However, you have to remember that the Wife 1.0 software is still the main operating system, and there can be conflicts. If not managed properly, this can cause the system to overload and shut down completely. I would add that packages such as Entertainment 6.0 and Dineout 7.0 work very well with both editions of Girlfriend. After a period of time it is possible to proceed with the next stage in the de-installation of Wife 1.0. If you have experienced child processing in the past, however, there are some aspects of the software which cannot be removed - this can cause a growing issue. At this stage you will need a tool called Big-Bucks Lawyer, which will perform a detailed analysis of your cache and other storage devices, as well as a reorganisation of the registry. I have heard some people report an increase in pop-ups while this is happening, while others say they disappear completely. Since using the utility I have noticed that some of my storage devices have become inaccessible. Big-Bucks Lawyer will remove all the main elements of Wife 1.0. It is usually recommended to keep Girlfriend 7.0 and not to attempt to upgrade it. You will receive many suggestions to install Wife 2.0, but I would counsel against this. Yours truly, A Happy Friend. -----Original Message----- From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of E Clardy Sent: 05 December 2008 13:04 To: [email protected] Subject: [GENHUMOR] INSTALLING A WIFE WIFE 1.0 SOFTWARE ALERT!! Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included with the product information. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!!!!!! Thanks, A Troubled User. REPLY: Dear Troubled User: This is a very common problem that men complain about. It is due to a primary misconception among men. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is merely a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by it's creator to run everything! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating systems files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than in the original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under "Warnings--Alimony/Child Support." I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application Yes Dear to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that you read the entire section regarding "General Partnership Faults (GPF?s)." You must assume all responsibility for any faults and problems that occur, regardless of their cause. You will also find that GPF?s are cyclical. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Remember the system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all GPF's. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0), and Do Bills 4.2. You must, however, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 should this happen. WARNING!!!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Best of luck, Tech Support ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to [email protected] with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message