Sent: Monday, October 13, 2008 7:19 AM Subject: FW: Fwd: FW: NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS FOR 2008 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS FOR 2008 CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower. P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. BROKER -- What my broker has made me. STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell. STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock. STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected. MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks. CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse. PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- McCain or Obama? Stay updated on coverage of the Presidential race while you browse - Download Now! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ New MapQuest Local shows what's happening at your destination. Dining, Movies, Events, News & more. Try it out! -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for Personal use. SPAMfighter has removed 1731 of my spam emails to date. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len The Trial and Professional version does not have this message in the email