While traveling in Quebec, my father complained that all the street signs were in French. His comments and sarcasm went on and on. Then after passing a billboard for a restaurant that featured filet mignon, he belted out, "Finally! Something in English!" ======= A big challenge of running a small business is dealing with employees' requests for time off. One morning an employee said, "I need to leave early tomorrow." Later that same day, he followed with, "Looks like I'll be coming in late tomorrow, but if my coming in late runs into my leaving early, then I won't be in at all." ========== In the days of the Old West, bar fights would often spill over into the street and before anyone knew what happened, it was a full-scale riot. In one such town, the Mayor wired the Texas Rangers for help. On the next train, a Ranger gets off and is greeted by the astonished Mayor. "They only sent one Ranger?" The Ranger straightened his hat, brushed the dust from his coat, and replied, "Y'all only got one riot, right?" ========= Ricky was at the mall and went into a toy shop, picked up a toy plane, gave the shopkeeper fake money and started to leave. The shopkeeper told him, "Excuse me little boy, this isn't real money." Ricky continued walking out of the shop and didn't reply. The shopkeeper repeated himself, and Ricky kept walking. The third time the shopkeeper called him, Ricky said "What?" The shopkeeper said, "I'm sorry, young man, but this is not real money." Ricky looked at the plane in his hands, looked at the shopkeeper and finally said, "And this isn't a real plane." ========= Q. What do they call the carrot who talked back to the farmer? A. A fresh vegetable. ======= My husband decided life would be easier if he wired a new light switch in the master bedroom to save us from fumbling in the dark for the lamp. He cut through the drywall and found a stash of bottles and small boxes inside the wall. "Honey!" he called excitedly. "You've got to come here and see what I found." I ran in and quickly realized that his next task would be to fix the hole that now led into the back of our medicine cabinet. ======= -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter. We are a community of 5.6 million users fighting spam. SPAMfighter has removed 1833 of my spam emails to date. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len The Professional version does not have this message