A speech is like a wheel - the longer the spoke - the greater the tire. A spoken word is like a sparrow - once it flies out you cannot catch it. A word of advice - don't give it. An alarm clock is a small device used to wake up people who have no children at home. An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame. Anybody who knows everything should be told a thing or two. Anyone who says that truth is stranger than fiction has never heard a teenager explaining his 3:30 A.M. arrival home. A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even when they know you're a bit cracked. A gentleman farmer is one who has more hay in the bank than in the barn. A good time to keep you mouth shut is when you're in deep water. A good many childhood ailments are cured miraculously as soon as it's too late to go to school. A half-truth is usually less than half of that. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Get the scoop on last night's hottest shows and the live music scene in your area - Check out TourTracker.com! -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1347 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len