"Recipe for a Happy New Year" Take 12 fine, full-grown months. See that these are thoroughly cleansed from all old memories of bitterness, rancor, hate and jealousy. Cut these months into 30 or 31 equal parts. This batch will keep for one year. Do not attempt to make more than one batch at a time ... many people spoil the entire lot in this way. Prepare one day at a time as follows: Into each day, put 12 parts of faith, 11 of patience, 10 of courage, nine of work (some people omit this ingredient and spoil the flavor of the rest), eight of hope, seven of fidelity, six of open-mindedness, five of kindness, four of rest (leaving this out is like leaving the oil out of the salad, don't do it), three of prayer, two of meditation, and one of well-selected resolution. If you have no conscientious scruples, add a teaspoonful of good spirits, a dash of fun, a pinch of folly, a sprinkling of play, and a heaping cupful of good humor. Pour love liberally into the whole, and mix with vim. Cook thoroughly in a fervent heat. Garnish with a few smiles and a sprig of joy; then serve it with quietness, unselfishness, and cheerfulness. A Happy New Year is a certainty!

          >>  >> >>> >>>  >>>  >>>  >>>  >>> >>> >>>    Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a >>>strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimer's is a long, long, ways down the >>>road before it ever gets anywhere near you. >>> >>>>>>To my "selected" strange-minded friends: >>>>>>If you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends and the >>>>>>person that sent it to you with 'yes' in the subject line. Only very good minds >>>>>>can read this. This is weird, but interesting! 7H15 M3554G3 >>>>>>53RV35 7O PR0V3 >>>>>>H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N >>>>>>D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5! >>>>>>1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! >>>>>>1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG >>>>>>17 WA5 H4RD BU7 >>>>>>N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 >>>>>>Y0UR M1ND 1S >>>>>>R34D1NG 17 >>>>>>4U70M471C4LLY >>>>>>W17H 0U7 3V3N >>>>>>7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, >>>>>>B3 PROUD! 0NLY >>>>>>C3R741N P30PL3 C4N >>>>>>R3AD 7H15. >>>>>>PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F >>>>>>U C4N R34D 7H15.   If you can read this, you have a strange mind, too. Only 55 >>>>>>people out of 100 can. >>>>>> >>>>>>I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The >>>>>>phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde >>>>>>Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny >>>>>>iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The >>>>>>rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is >>>>>>bcuseaethe huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a >>>>>>wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can >>>>>>raed this forwrad it >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>FORWARD ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT >>>>>>Forward it & put 'YES' in the Subject Line >>>>>> >>>>>>Even if you are not old, you will find this interesting...   This is a >>>>>>TEST----------------------------------------- Good Luck!!! >>>>>> >>>>>>    >>>>>>  >>>>>>    I don't know about the wishes but we can all use some brain exercise!! >>>>>> >>>>>>       >>>>>>   >>>>>>   >>>>>>       >>>> >>>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>  >>> 

----- >> >> >> >> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>  >>> >>>>>  >>>>>Happy New Year!!! >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>>  >>>>>>>RETIRED HEALTH MESSAGE >>>>>>>>>>  >>>>>>>>>>As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized >>>>>>>>>>that I don't really give a rat's arse. It's the tortoise life for me! >>>>>>>>>>1.. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. >>>>>>>>>2.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat. >>>>>>>>>3.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years. >>>>>>>>>4.. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years. >>>>>>>>>And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so. >>>>>>>>I'm retired. Go around me. >>>>>>>>  >>>>>>>>God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune >>>>>>>>to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. >>>>>>>>  >>>>>>>Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered: >>>>>>>1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran. >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart. >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>6. If all is not lost, where is it? >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few. >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids. >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the >>>>>>>bathroom. >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees. >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play >>>>>>>chess? >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere. >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go >>>>>>>somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. >>>>>>>  >>>>>>>20. DID I SEND THESE TO YOU BEFORE..........?????? >>>>>>>  >>>>>>> >>>>>>>

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. However, he wrote: 1) It is perfect formula for the child. 2) It provides immunity against several diseases. 3) It is always the right temperature. 4) It is inexpensive. 5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa. 6) It is always available as needed. And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote: 7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it. He got an A. FREE Animations for your email! Click Here! No virus found in this message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 2013.0.2793 / Virus Database: 2629/5922 - Release Date: 11/27/12

  Thought  for the day:  Be who you are and say what you feel because those that matter don't mind. . . and those that mind don't matter!    My mind works like lightning,one brilliant  Flash and it is gone.    The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.    My idea of a super bowl is a toilet that cleans itself!  A husband is someone who, after takingthe trash out, gives the impression that  he just cleaned the whole house.     and my favorite is..... My next house will have no kitchen -  just  vending machines and a large trash can. 

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.   9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.   8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.   7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.   6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.   5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.   4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.   3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.   2. As the Bible says, it is not good for man to be alone!   1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that."    

A woman was waiting in the checkout line at a shopping center. Her arms were laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her hard glances and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in hurry and not a happy camper about the slowness of the line. When the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked indignantly, "Well, I'll be lucky to get out of here and home before Christmas!" "Don't worry, ma'am," replied the clerk. "With a good tail wind and that brand new broom you have there, you'll be home in no time."

Wishing You... Exciting Days Peaceful Nights Good Cheer Loving Friendships Hundreds of Hugs Kind Kisses Family Fun A Feeling of Purpose Shinning Smiles And a Song in Your Heart. The new year comes at last, and the old one seemed to go too fast. Remember the friends that we've made and the friends that we've lost, the fun times that we've shared, and the choices we made. Did you eat too much? Did you hurt your friends?Did you forget your homework? Did you play computer too much? Now's the time to change, make all your dreams come true. We're starting the new year off brand new. May your resolutions and expectations In the next year come true. A Wish from Me to You! If I live to be a hundred, and see all there is to see. I know that I'll find happiness because I've been true to me. If things don't turn out my way I know it will be okay. Because my life is like a butterfly. Because of you I've touched the sky. I live a life in which I am free. Free to be all I wish to be. I'm thankful I have you by my side. To enjoy life with me stride by stride.

My Get Up And Go Has Got Up And Went How do I know my youth is all spent? Well, my get-up-and-go has got-up-and-went! But in spite of it all I'm able to grin when, I think of where my get-up-and-go has been. Old age is golden, so I've heard it said. But sometimes I wonder as I get into bed. With ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup, My eyes on the table until I wake up. Ere sleep dim my eyes, I say to myself, Is there anything else I should have laid on the shelf? I'm happy to say as I close my door, My friends are the same, perhaps even more. When I was young my slippers were red. I could kick my heels right over my head. When I grew older my slippers were blue, But still I could dance the whole night through. Now I am old my slippers are black. I walk to the store and puff my way back. The reason I know my youth is all spent. My get up and go has got up and went. But really don't mind when I think with a grin, Of the grand places my get up and go has been. Since I've retired from life's competition, I busy myself with complete repetition. I get up each morning, dust off my wits, Pick up the paper and read the obits. If my name is missing I know I'm not dead. So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed. ~ author unknown ~

Life from the seat of a tractor.. An old Farmer's Words of Wisdom we could all live by....... The last quote fits everyone...I don't care who you are. Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. Words that soak into your ears are whispered....not yelled. Meanness don't just happen overnight. Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.   Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge. You cannot unsay a cruel word. Every path has a few puddles. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. The best sermons are lived, not preached. Most of the stuff people worry about, ain't never gonna happen anyway. Don't judge folks by their relatives. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. Live a good and honorable life, then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time. Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none. Timin' has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'. Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got. The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'. Always drink upstream from the herd. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. Live simply, love generously, care deeply, Speak kindly, and leave the rest to God.   Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.           .    

Take 12 fine, full-grown months. See that these are thoroughly cleansed from all old memories of bitterness, rancor, hate and jealousy. Cut these months into 30 or 31 equal parts. This batch will keep for one year. Do not attempt to make more than one batch at a time ... many people spoil the entire lot in this way. Prepare one day at a time as follows: Into each day, put 12 parts of faith, 11 of patience, 10 of courage, nine of work (some people omit this ingredient and spoil the flavor of the rest), eight of hope, seven of fidelity, six of open-mindedness, five of kindness, four of rest (leaving this out is like leaving the oil out of the salad, don't do it), three of prayer, two of meditation, and one of well-selected resolution. If you have no conscientious scruples, add a teaspoonful of good spirits, a dash of fun, a pinch of folly, a sprinkling of play, and a heaping cupful of good humor. Pour love liberally into the whole, and mix with vim. Cook thoroughly in a fervent heat. Garnish with a few smiles and a sprig of joy; then serve it with quietness, unselfishness, and cheerfulness. A Happy New Year is a certainty!   Hugs :-)   ~ Jamie

There once was a farmer who discovered that he had lost his watch in the barn. It was no ordinary watch because it had sentimental value for him. After searching high and low among the hay for a long while; he gave up and enlisted the help of a group of children playing outside the barn. He promised them that the person who found it would be rewarded. Hearing this, the children hurried inside the barn, went through and around the entire stack of hay but still could not find the watch. Just when the farmer was about to give up looking for his watch, a little boy went up to him and asked to be given another chance. The farmer looked at him and thought, "Why not? After all, this kid looks sincere enough." So the farmer sent the little boy back in the barn. After a while the little boy came out with the watch in his hand! The farmer was both happy and surprised and so he asked the boy how he succeeded where the rest had failed. The boy replied, "I did nothing but sit on the ground and listen. In the silence, I heard the ticking of the watch and just looked for it in that direction." Moral: A peaceful mind can think better than a worked up mind. Allow a few minutes of silence to your mind every day, and see, how sharply it helps you to set your life the way you expect it to be!

    A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?" "No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class."  

Annie, 6 years old, gets home from school. She had her first family planning lesson at school. Her mother, very interested, asks; "How did it go?" "I died of shame!" She answers! “Why?” Her Mother asked. Annie said, “Kate from down the road, says that the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage. Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital.” Her mother answers laughingly “But that’s no reason to be ashamed?” “No, but I can’ t tell them that we're so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!”  

Senior AAADD - Do you have it? Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water. I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers don't have enough water, there is still only 1 check in my check book! I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today. I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all stinking day, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem,mand I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail...Do me a favor. (if you can remember) Send this to your friends and warn them about his disease!

When the difficulties come, and pile so high on top of one another that you can't see the way forward, you have a choice. You can choose to give up, or you can choose to get stronger. You can choose to bury your dreams under impenetrable layers of worry and fear. Or you can choose to make those dreams even more magnificent and compelling so that you cannot resist being pulled forward by them. You can choose to feel sorry for yourself, or you can choose to feel the power of your true purpose. You can look for who is to blame, or you can look for ways to take full responsibility for the situation. This is your life, and even the difficult stretches are very much worth living. In fact, it is during the challenging times that you build new capacity for greater richness. When there is no obvious reason to be positive, choose to be more positive than ever before. Instead of being overwhelmed by the problems, choose to be energized by the positive possibilities hidden within them. Feel the genuine confidence that comes from knowing you always have a choice. And choose to live the positive value in whatever life may send. ~R. Marston~

A man went out for a walk. He came to a river and saw a woman on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo," he shouted, "how can I get to the other side?" The woman looked up the river then down the river then shouted back, "You're already on the other side." Life and truth is often a matter of perspective and viewpoint. I thought about that issue for a good part of the day. It was short and somewhat funny but extremely profound. Do you realize how many people are trying to get to the very side that you are already on while you are trying to get somewhere else? Do you know how many people wish they had a good husband or wife like you do? Do you realize how many couples wish they could have children like you do? Do you know how many suffering people wish they had a pain free body like you do? Do you know how many people wish they just had enough money to pay their basic bills like you do? Do you realize how many people wish they could get to the weight that you are already at? Do you realize how many people wish they had a job like you do? Do you realize how many people wish they could see like you can? ...could hear like you can? ...could walk like you can? I, like most of you reading this, wish for many things. I have a lot of dreams and visions. "Perspective" really made me think and realize that with so many of the rivers of life, I'm already on the "other" side. So are you. C. S. Lewis Says: Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.

It takes strength to be firm It takes courage to be gentle. It takes strength to stand guard. It takes courage to let down your guard It takes strength to conquer. It takes courage to surrender. It takes strength to be certain. It takes courage to have doubt. It takes strength to fit in. It takes courage to stand out. It takes strength to feel a friend's pain. It takes courage to feel your own pain. It takes strength to hide your own pains. It takes courage to show them. It takes strength to endure abuse. It takes courage to stop it. It takes strength to stand alone. It takes courage to lean on another. It takes strength to love. It takes courage to be loved. It takes strength to survive. It takes courage to live. Author Unknown

#yiv233787925 td, #yiv233787925 p {font-family:Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:12px;font-weight:normal;color:black;}         Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss," he said, "The pill actually worked!" "That's all fine" said the boss. "But where were you yesterday?"   

        Something to Offend Everyone   I'd just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.' ++++++++++++++++++++++++   I took my biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "blacks" and "Mexicans" were not the correct answers. ++++++++++++++++++++++++   A fat girl served me in McDonald’s at lunch time. she said 'sorry about the wait.' I said, 'don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually.' ++++++++++++++++++++++++   Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'Fat chance, with a face like that!' ++++++++++++++++++++++++   A 10 year old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. a man passing by asks 'What's wrong, lad?' The boy says 'Me ma died this morning' 'Oh be jaysus,' the man says. 'Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?' The boy replies, 'No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.' ++++++++++++++++++++++++  Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed. ++++++++++++++++++++++++   I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself...'I'm going to take that.' ++++++++++++++++++++++++   I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question which I got wrong. The question was,”where do women have the curliest hair?” Fiji was the correct answer...Hell, how did I know they wanted the name of a country?