LIFE'S TUG OF WAR Life can seem ungrateful and not always kind. Life can pull at your heartstrings and play with your mind. Life can be blissful and happy and free. Life can put beauty in the things that you see. Life can place challenges right at your feet. Life can make good of the hardships we meet. Life can overwhelm you and make your head spin. Life can reward those determined to win. Life can be hurtful and not always fair. Life can surround you with people who care. Life clearly does offer its ups and its downs. Life's days can bring you both smiles and frowns. Life teaches us to take the good with the bad. Life is a mixture of happy and sad. SO...  Take the life that you have and give it your best. Think positive be happy let God do the rest. Take the challenges that life has laid at your feet. Take pride and be thankful for each one you meet. To yourself give forgiveness if you stumble and fall. Take each day that is dealt you and give it your all. Take the love that you're given and return it with care. Have faith that when needed it will always be there. Take time to find the beauty in the things that you see. Take life's simple pleasures let them set your heart free. The idea here is simply to even the score. As you are met and faced with Life's Tug of War.

 If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.  Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.  Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.  My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.  There is not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.  For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.  If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.  Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. Eat well, stay fit, and die anyway.  Men are from earth.  Women are from earth.  Deal with it.  No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.  A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. Experience is a wonderful thing.  It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.  By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.  Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.    

Remembering is the heart's own way Of holding loved ones close And keeping us in constant touch With those who mean the most. Remembering is the heart's own way Of sending loving thoughts today! A friend is someone we turn to When our spirits need a lift, A friend is someone we treasure For true friendship is a gift. A friend is someone we laugh with Over little personal things. A friend is someone we're serious with In facing whatever life brings. A friend is someone who fills our lives With beauty and joy and grace And can make the world that we live in A better and happier place!

A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS  (From The Sound of Music) Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,  Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,  Bundles of magazines tied up with string,  These are a few of my favorite things. Cadillacs, cataracts, hearing aids, eye-glasses,  Polident, Fixodent, false teeth in glasses,  Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,  These are a few of my favorite things. When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,  When the knees go bad,  Then I remember my favorite things  And then I don't feel so bad. Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,  No spicy hot food nor food cooked with onions,  Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,  These are a few of my favorite things. Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin',  Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin'. And we won't mention our short shrunken frames  When we remember our favorite things. When the joints ache, when the hips break,  When the eyes grow dim,  Then I remember the great life I've had,  And then I don't feel so bad. THEN I REMEMBER THE GREAT LIFE I'VE HAD  AND THEN I DON'T FEEL SOOOO BAAAAD!

THE TINY CABIN A social worker from a big city in Massachusetts recently transferred to the mountains of West Virginia and was on the first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life. Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door. "Anybody home?" she asked. "Yep," came a kid's voice through the door. "Is your father there?" asked the social worker. "Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in," said the kid. "Well, is your mother there?" persisted the social worker. "Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here," said the kid. "But," protested the social worker, (thinking that surely she will need to intervene in this situation) "are you never together as a family?" "Sure, but not here," said the kid through the door. "This is the outhouse!" Government workers are so very smart. Aren't you overjoyed that they'll soon be handling all our financial, educational and medical dilemmas?                      

WHETHER THE WEATHER Whether the weather be fine Or whether the weather be not Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather Whether we like it or not. Now some like it cold And some like it hot I like it in between Cause extremes I like not. (Did you ever notice that the weather at home improves as soon as you leave town?) On rainy days I sit and ponder And hope that it will stop Oh no, the roof is leaking now Where is that doggone mop? (there will be a rain dance Friday night...weather permitting)  The wind's another story, Cause it makes my hair a mess. Moose and gel and hair spray To hold each wayward tress.   And in the fall, we rake and rake and rake and rake and rake. And just around the corner We'll see a little snow. Softly drifting snowflakes How deep? We just don't know.   Now we long for spring to come, To see the flowers bloom; But with it comes that rain again And we're filled with soggy gloom. Summer sneaks right up on us, And hits us with a blast!  Where the heck did spring go? Hot and sticky got here fast! We are simply never satisfied With the weather that's our lot If it's cold we moan and groan, And wish that it was hot. And if it's hot; like it not We wish that it would rain Maybe just a good strong wind Would cool us down again! Boring Weather facts: According to NASA, the U.S. has the world's most violent weather. In a typical year, the U.S. can expect some 10,000 violent thunderstorms, 5000 floods, 1000 tornadoes, and several hurricanes.

Like ... A Hug from your spouse. Or an old friend, or better yet, a new friend.   The Smile of a child, or a neighbor, or a stranger in a store.   A Call from a loved one who's been away saying, I AM coming home once more.   The Smell of rain bringing a long dry spell to an end.   The Fragrance of a rose, or lilacs, or even cookies baking.   A Daffodil, or a crocus, or Spring in the making.   A card on your Birthday, or Christmas, or for no reason at all.   A visit from a neighbor or a family member you haven't seen for a while.   The songs of birds as they fly through the air.   An E-mail from a friend telling you they care.   Yes, these may seem little in themselves but they are not; because, when you stop to consider, you will  find, Little Things DO Mean a Lot.

  Senior Wedding Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Miami, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes." Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?" Pharmacist: "Of course, we do." Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?" Pharmacist: "All kinds." Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?" Pharmacist: "Definitely." Jacob: "How about suppositories?" Pharmacist: "You bet!" Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimer's?" Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The Works." Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?" Pharmacist: "Absolutely." Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?" Pharmacist: "We sure do." Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?" Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes." Jacob: "Adult diapers?" Pharmacist: "Sure." Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."      

    "There's Sunshine in a Smile"   Life is a mixture of sunshine and rain, Laughter and pleasure, teardrops and pain, All days can't be bright, but it's certainly true, There was never a cloud the sun didn't shine through.         So just keep on smiling whatever betides you; secure in the knowledge God is always beside you, and you'll find when you smile your day will be brighter. And all of your burdens will seem so much lighter. For each time you smile you will find it is true; somebody somewhere will smile back at you. Nothing on earth can make life more worthwhile than the sunshine and warmth of a Beautiful Smile. author unknown              

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Okemah, OK.   After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar,  wearing a SERTCO T-shirt, and apparently so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.  He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.  Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple  of times, honked the horn, and then switched on the lights.  He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the  other patrons' vehicles left.  At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.  The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled  the man over, and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station.  This breathalyzer equipment must be broken." 'I doubt it,' said the truly proud Redneck. 'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.’

Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. ~Author Unknown What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure. ~Gene Perret Grandmothers are just 'antique' little girls. ~Author Unknown Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. ~ Welsh Proverb A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television.. ~Author Unknown Never have children, only grandchildren. ~Gore Vidal Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. ~Pam Brown Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Grandfathers have only so many horsy rides in them. ~Gene Perret When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. ~ Ogden Nash Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete. ~ Marcy DeMaree Grandmas never run out of hugs or cookies. ~Author unknown Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever. ~Author Unknown If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I'd have had them first. ~Lois Wyse My grandkids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too. ~Gene Perret If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it! ~ Hannah Whithall Smith It's such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother - that's why the world calls her grandmother. ~Author Unknown Grandchildren are God's way of compensating us for growing old. ~ Mary H. Waldrip You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. ~Proverb An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. ~Gene Perret The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida . ~Dave Barry I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have - if only for self-defense. ~Gene Perret Grandmother-grandchild relationships are simple. Grandmas are short on criticism and long on love. ~Author Unknown Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. ~Alex Haley Grandmother - a wonderful mother with lots of practice. ~Author Unknown A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside. ~Author Unknown One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather. ~Joy Hargrove It's amazing how grandparents seem so young once you become one. ~Author Unknown If your baby is 'beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time,' you're the grandma. ~Teresa Bloomingdale Grandparents are similar to a piece of string - handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of their grandchildren. ~Author Unknown What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I'd like to say that grandparents are God's gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate. ~Bill Cosby Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. ~G Norman Collie Please share with some Aunties & Uncles too!!     FREE Emoticons for your email - by IncrediMail Click Here!

    Subject: Tombstone Sayings........................ Some of these are pretty good - LOL!    Some fascinating things on old tombstones!     Harry Edsel Smith of Albany , New York : Born 1903--Died 1942. Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. ============================= In a Thurmont, Maryland , cemetery: Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no   place to go. ============================= On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. Only the good die young. ============================= In a London , England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767 ============================= In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery: Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread, And   the Lord sent them manna. Clark Wallace   wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna. =============================== In a Ruidoso, New Mexico , cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon him   for not rising. =============================== In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania , cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake, Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. ============================== In a Silver City , Nevada , cemetery: Here lays The Kid, We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw. ================================ A lawyer's epitaph in England : Sir John Strange. Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange. ================================= John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England , cemetery: Reader, if cash thou art in want of any, Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny. ================================== In a cemetery in Hartscombe , England : On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went   out of tune. ================================== Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls , Vermont : Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go. ================================== On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket , Massachusetts : Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod, Pease shelled out and went to God. ================================== In a cemetery in England : Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so shall you be, Remember this and follow me. To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: To follow you I'll not consent,     Until I know which way you went.    

We all have a cherished garden we tend - It is planted with love of family and friends. The memories and dreams we treasure and share Are like beautiful roses found blooming there. The comfort and care on which we depend Is given with love between family and friends. The sunshine of laughter and rain of a tear Only make our love grow with each passing year. We may all be ourselves with no need to pretend because of the love of family and friends; they notice the rainbows and weather the showers. They overlook weeds and praise all our flowers. The most valuable thing is the time that we spend tending this garden with family and friends. When counting our blessings, we know from the start that family and friends come first in our heart. unknown

Recipe For Daily Life 1 Cup Good Thoughts 1 Cup Consideration 2 Cups Sacrifice 2 Cups Faults 1 Cup Kindness 3 Cups Forgiveness Mix well adding tears of joy, sympathy and sorrow for others.  Flavor with gifts of love. Fold in prayer and faith.  Pour all into daily life.  Bake with human kindness.  Serve daily with hugs and smiles.  

      Subject: God has a sense of humor To:  GOD HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR A woman received a call that her daughter was sick.  She stopped by the pharmacy to get medication, Got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside.  The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said "I don't know how to use this."  She bowed her head and asked God to send her HELP.  Within 5 minutes a beat up old motorcycle pulled up.  A bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag.  The man got off of his cycle and asked if he could help.   She said: "Yes, my daughter is sick. I’ve locked my keys in my car. I must get home. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"  He said "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was open.  She hugged the man and through tears said "Thank You SO Much! You are a very nice man."  The man replied "Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out of PRISON yesterday, I was in prison for car theft."  The woman hugged the man again sobbing, "Oh, thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!"  Is GOD Good or What!?    

Today is a new bright and shining day. For today can be whatever you make of it. There is nothing to stop you from making it the best. We must feel grateful for our very existence. All that we have and all the love we have received. This gratefulness will bring a flood of joy and happiness. The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. No matter where you are in life, No matter what your situation; you can always do something on every turn of your life. You will always have a choice and that choice can be your power. You can win life by all means, if you avoid just two things in Life...“Comparing with others" and, "Expecting from Others". Life in each moment is influenced by your presence, and participation. As each new day unfolds continue to make that influence a positive and fulfilling one. Keep your heart free from hate, and your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little, and give much. Fill your life with love. Scatter sunshine, forget self, and think of others. Do unto others as you would be done to you. Greet each day with Your Eyes open to beauty, Your Mind open to change, And Your Heart open to His Love. Have A Blessed Day!  

24 Things to Always Remember... (And one thing to never forget) Your presence is a present to the world. You're unique and one of a kind. Your life can be what you want it to be. Take the days just one at a time. Count your blessings not your troubles. You'll make it through whatever comes along. Within you are so many answers. Understand, have courage, be strong. Don't put limits on yourself. So many dreams are waiting to be realized. Decisions are too important to leave to chance. Reach for your peak, your goal, your prize. Nothing wastes more energy than worrying. The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets. Don't take things too seriously. Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets. Remember that a little love goes along way. Remember that a lot...goes forever. Remember that a friendship is a wise investment. Life's treasures are people...together. Realize that it's never too late. Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way. Have health and hope and happiness. Take the time to wish upon a star. And don't ever forget, for even a day... how very special you are.    

} There was a Japanese man who went to America For sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab  And told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi.  Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled,  "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!" After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled,  "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!" And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled,  "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!" The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was $300. The Japanese exclaimed, "Wah...So expensive!" There upon, the driver yelled back - "Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!"

X Keep Swimming Two frogs fell into a deep cream bowl. One was an optimistic soul. But the other took the gloomy view. "We'll drown," he lamented without much ado. and with a last despairing cry, he flung up his legs and said "Goodbye." Quote the other frog with a steadfast grin, "I can't get out but I won't give in, I'll just swim around till my strength is spent, then I'll die the more content." Bravely he swam to work his scheme, and his struggles began to churn the cream. The more he swam, his legs a flutter, the more the cream turned into butter. On top of the butter at last he stopped, and out of the bowl he gaily hopped. What is the moral? It's easily found... If you can't hop out, keep swimming around!

Life Is Too Short Life is way too short and where it goes, nobody knows. The years just fly by the older you get, the faster it goes. When you reach middle age you start wishing you would have done A whole lot of things differently like worried less and had more fun. Like communicate more without anger write more letters, go visiting more , and show others how much you care. Start now, if you haven't before. It's never too late to be there for family and friends you care about. This will make you a better person; I can say this without a doubt. A warm embrace will show you care. Give more hugs and kisses too. Put on a smile, but be sincere; it won't even hurt to say, "I love you." Don't wait until it's too late to let someone know how you feel. Today is here, tomorrow is no guarantee. Show them today, but be real. If you wait, you may be sorry that loved one won't always be here. If you don't tell them today, tomorrow you may shed a tear.