Reliable sources report that Wal-Mart stores across Alabama are now sold out of ammunition. A Birmingham resident was interviewed as he was exiting a local Wal-Mart and offered the following comment, "Russia may have successfully overrun Georgia, but they sure as heck ain't doin' that to Alabama." **************It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here. (http://information.travel.aol.com/deals?ncid=aoltrv00050000000047)

When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. ~R.C. Sherriff Retirement itself is the best gift. No gold watch could ever top it. ~Abigail Charleson Life begins at retirement. ~Author Unknown The challenge of retirement is how to spend time without spending money. ~Author Unknown First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. And if it gets to that point, you should retire. ~Branch Rickey Well done is better than well said. ~Benjamin Franklin Between saying and doing many a pair of shoes is worn out. ~Italian Proverb After all is said and done, a lot more will have been said than done. ~Author Unknown There are so many things that we wish we had done yesterday, so few that we feel like doing today. ~Mignon McLaughlin Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action. ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997 Talk doesn't cook rice. ~Chinese Proverb It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1570 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len

And then the fight started.. And then the fight started.. When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight started.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked,' Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started..... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' And then the fight started..... ******************************** Mexico Not Part Of Olympics President Felipe Calderon of Mexico has announced that Mexico will not participate in the Beijing Summer Olympics. He stated, "Más o menos cada uno que puede correr, salto, subida o nadara, ha dejado ya el país." Rough Translation: "Pretty much everyone who can run, jump, climb or swim has already left the country." ************** The most wasted of all days is one without laughter - -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1570 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. - Mark Twain If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows. - Sydney J. Harris The object of education is to prepare the young to educate themselves throughout their lives. - Robert Maynard Hutchins I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework. - Lily Tomlin The best teachers teach from the heart, not from the book. - Author Unknown The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet. - Aristotle A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep. - W.H. Auden You can lead a boy to college, but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. - Benjamin Franklin You can get all A's and still flunk life. - Walker Percy Live as if you were to die tomorrow; learn as if you were to live forever. - Mohandas Gandhi Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. - Albert Einstein Labor Day is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to school the next day. It would have been called Independence Day, but that name was already taken. - Bill Dodds (I thought the first day of school was Mothers' Day! Edna) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1570 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. 21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. 22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. 23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. 24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. 25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat. 26. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 29. You should not confuse your career with your life. 30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. 31. Never lick a steak knife. 32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. 33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. 34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 35. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven. 36. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. 37. Your friends love you anyway. 38. Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1570 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len

1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. 2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. 5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. 6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time). 7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. 8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1570 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len

.It is better to look ahead and prepare, than to look back and despair. Those who can't laugh at themselves, leave the job for others. Better than counting your years is to make all your years count. If you jump to conclusions, you make terrible landings. I'd rather be a fool in the eyes of men, than a fool in the eyes of God. Wise are those who learn that the bottom line doesn't always have to be their top priority. A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. A burden shared is a lighter load. It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1570 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often. 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car. 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. 7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. 8. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention! It never fails.) 9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. 12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good. 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. 15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes. 16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. 18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. 19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1570 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len

WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT? (taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds) Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people's. A grandfather is a man & a grandmother is a lady! Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money. When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars. They show us and talk to us about the colors of the flowers and also why we shouldn't step on 'cracks.' They don't say, 'Hurry up.' Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes. They wear glasses and funny underwear. They can take their teeth and gums out. Grandparents don't have to be smart. They have to answer questions like 'Why isn't God married?' and 'How come dogs chase cats?' When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again. Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us. They know we should have snack time before bedtime and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we've acted bad. GRANDPA IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE TEACHES ME GOOD THINGS BUT I DON'T GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS SMART AS HIM! It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1570 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len

On his way home from work recently, my husband came upon a "Road Closed" sign. Undeterred, he maneuvered his truck around it and continued on. But he didn't get very far. The pavement ended, giving way to another, larger sign: "What Part of 'Road Closed' Didn't You Understand?" ************************ A friend's daughter, Callie, had enrolled in a Spanish class taught by a Hispanic teacher. "I'm not familiar with that name," he said. "Does it start with a K?" She replied, "C." Ever since, he has spelled her name "Kallie." ********************** A friend of mine is a deputy with the sheriff's department canine division. One evening, the deputy was dispatched to the scene of a possible burglary, where he discovered the back door of a building ajar. He let the dog out of his patrol car and commanded it to enter and seek. Jumping from the back seat, the dog headed for the building. After lunging through the doorway, the dog froze and backed out. My friend was puzzled until he investigated further. Then he noticed the sign on the building: "Veterinarian's office." *********************** Teacher to a third grade student: "Billy, if both of your parents were born in 1967, how old are they now?" Billy: "It depends." Teacher: "It depends on what?" Billy: "It depends on whether you ask my father or my mother." ***************************** Thinking his son would enjoy seeing the reenactment of a Civil War battle, my niece's husband took the boy, Will, to the event. But the poor child was terrified by the booming cannons. During a lull, Will's dad finally got him calmed down. That's when the Confederate general hollered, "Fire at Will!" *********************** After years of using the same perfumes, I decided to try something different and settled on a light, citrusy fragrance. The next day I was surprised when it was my little boy, not my husband, who first noticed the change. As he put his arms around me, he declared, "Wow, Mom, you smell just like Fruit Loops!" +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ My 17-year-old niece asked me if she could use my name as a reference on her resume', which she planned to submit to a local fast-food restaurant. I agreed. A few days later she called and asked me to meet her at the restaurant later that afternoon. When I asked her why, she replied, "The manager wants me to come in for an interview, and she told me to bring my references." +++++++++++++++++++++++++ Roses are red, violets are blue. That's what they say, but it just isn't true! Roses are red and apples are too, But violets are violet...violets aren't blue! An orange is orange, but Greenland's not green. A pinky's not pink, so what does it mean? To call something blue when it's not, we defile it. But ah, why not...it's hard to rhyme violet! ************************* When I overheard one of my cashiers tell a customer, "We haven't had it for a while, and I doubt we'll be getting it soon," I quickly assured the customer that we would have whatever it was she wanted by next week. After she left, I read the cashier the riot act. "Never tell the customer that we're out of anything. Tell them we'll have it next week," I instructed her. "Now, what did she want?" "Rain." ********************* Hans vas a Norvegian vorking at the fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentally cut off all ten of his finkers. He vent to da emergency room in the clinik and vhen he got dar, da Norsky doctor looked at Hans and said, "Let's hafe da finkers and I'll see vhat I can do." Hans said, "I hafen't got da finkers." "Vhat do you mean, you hafen't got da finkers? he asked. "Lordy ! It's 2008 ! Ve got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could hafe put dem back on and made you like new ! Vhy didn't you brink da finkers ?" Hans responded: "How da heck vas I supposed to pick dem up ?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1570 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len

I was on family leave, spending my days caring for my two-year-old son while pregnant with my second child. To kill some time, I began to watch the Game Show Network, and I got hooked. One afternoon my husband came home to find the house in complete disarray and me plopped in front of the TV. "So this is what you do while I'm working?" he said, smirking. "It just happened to be on TV," I lied. The next evening we were watching Bush's inauguration. As Bush stepped out of his limousine and waved to reporters, my son shouted, "Look, Mommy! He won the car!" =========== A doctor had just hired a new secretary. Having trouble with the doctor¹s notes on an emergency case which read,"Shot in the lumbar region," the poor girl was flustered and at her wit's end. At last she thought she had it figured out and brightened up as she typed up the record, "Wounded in the woods." ``````````````````````````````````````` A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change. "I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you," he announced."Will the laziest man please put his hand up?" Nine hands went up. "Why didn't you put your hand up?" he asked the tenth man. "Too much trouble," came the reply -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1570 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len

It was just another day at the DMV. I had taken a woman out on her driving test when a police cruiser came up behind us--sirens wailing, lights flashing. "Was I speeding?" she asked the officer, after both cars pulled over. "No," said the officer. "But you are driving a stolen vehicle." Smiling awkwardly, the woman turned to me. "Does this mean I failed my test?" ========= While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom. With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. "Just a minute," I said, thinking of a quick solution. "I'll put down newspapers." "It's all right, lady," he responded. "I'm already trained." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1570 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len

AOL Email Why are wedding dresses white? IT MUST HAVE BEEN A VERY BRAVE MAN WHO WROTE THIS !!!!!! IT'S EVEN A BRAVER ONE WHO FORWARDS IT !!!!!!! Son asked his mother the following question: 'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies, 'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.' The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. 'Dad why are wedding dresses white?' The father looks at his son in surprise and says, 'Son, all household appliances come in white.' It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1568 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len

A seven-year-old boy approached an old man in front of a wishing well, looked up into his eyes, and asked: "I understand you're a very wise man. I'd like to know the secret of life." The old man looked down at the youngster and replied: "I've thought a lot in my lifetime, and the secret can be summed up in four words: 1) The first is "Think." Think about the values you wish to live your life by. 2) The second is "Believe." Believe in yourself based on the thinking you've done about the values you're going to live your life by. 3) The third is "Dream." Dream about the things that can be, based on your belief in yourself and the values you're going to live by. 4) The last is "Dare." Dare to make your dreams become reality, based on your belief in yourself and your values. And with that, Walter E. Disney said to the little boy, "Think, Believe, Dream, and Dare." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1568 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len

AOL Email APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH; ADAGE 1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail. 3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all. 4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs. 5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water. 6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night? 7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without. 8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks? 9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job. 10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car. 11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity. 12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. Like this: It could be a right number. 13. No one ever says "It's only a game." when their team is winning. 14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap. 15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it. 16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket. 17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies ! ) 18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo. 19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead! Always be yourself. Because the people that matter, dont mind. And the one's that mind, don't matter. Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1556 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len

AOL Email FARM KID (NOW AT San Diego MARINE CORPS RECRUIT TRAINING) Dear Ma and Pa, I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay.. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is abo ut as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none. This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes. Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake . I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry. Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in. Your loving daughter, Alice Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1547 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len

AOL EmailNot funny, but so true. Made Where? Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 a.m. While his coffee pot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB. At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day, Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA. Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1547 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len

Cleaning Poem I asked the Lord to tell me Why my house is such a mess. He asked if I'd been 'computering', And I had to answer "yes." He told me to get off my fanny And tidy up the house. And so I started cleaning up... The smudges off my mouse. I wiped and shined the topside. That really did the trick... I was just admiring my work.. I didn't mean to 'click.' But click, I did, and oops I found A real absorbing site That I got SO way into. I was into it all night.<<Sigh>> Nothing's changed except my mouse It's very, very shiny. I guess my house will stay a mess... While I sit here on my hiney. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1547 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len

I am my own Grandpa... By Dwight B. Latham and Moe Jaffe Many many years ago when I was twenty three, I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life. My daughter was my mother, for she was my father's wife. To complicate the matters worse, although it brought me joy, I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy. My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad. And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad. For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother to the widow's grown-up daughter who, of course, was my step-mother. Father's wife then had a son, who kept them on the run. And he became my grandson, for he was my daughter's son. My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue. Because, although she is my wife, she's my grandmother, too. If my wife is my grandmother, then I am her grandchild. And every time I think of it, it simply drives me wild. For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw. As the husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa! **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-BMW-128-2008/expert-review?ncid=aolaut00050000000017 )

SENSITIVE MAN - JERK!!! I phoned up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't BELIEVE it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic. "Wow!" I said "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!" She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge. "Yeah," I said, "Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly . She teased me, saying she thought tubby bald men were cute. "Anyway", she said, "I've put on a couple of pounds myself!" OH NO! I couldn't believe it! She gained weight! So I hung up midi - I bet ur pardon ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG. Version: 7.5.524 / Virus Database: 270.6.0/1604 - Release Date: 8/11/2008 5:50 AM I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 952 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Try SPAMfighter for free now! -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1538 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len