Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you, too. Don't laugh.... It is all true! Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 And heading towards 70! 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere. 4. People call at 9 PM and ask, 'Did I wake you?' 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 7. Things you buy now won't wear out. 8. You can eat supper at 4 PM. 9. You can live 'without sex but not your glasses. 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. 11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. 12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room. 13. You sing along with elevator music. 14. Your eyes won't get much worse. 15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. 17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. 18. Your supply of braincells is finally down to a manageable size. 19. You can't remember who sent you this list. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter. We are a community of 5.7 million users fighting spam. SPAMfighter has removed 2030 of my spam emails to date. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len The Professional version does not have this message

Love,love, love,love,loved it!! I TRACE MY FAMILY HISTORY SO I KNOW WHO TO BLAME....     With My Luck,My Family Tree Has Root Rot..... Sur-names:  DeMarino, DeMarini, Papi, Bleno, Naldi, Michelena,Mazzoni , Nicewonger,Sinclair,Snowberg, Longnecker Italy to Wisconsin to Pennsylvania to California. God Bless, Dee in Texas --- On Mon, 12/15/08, Dianne <[email protected]> wrote: From: Dianne <[email protected]> Subject: Re: [GENHUMOR] 2008 Christmas Letter To: [email protected] Date: Monday, December 15, 2008, 10:56 PM been waiting for the someone to bad mouth me for sending in the letter. They must be all asleep. <laughing> Merry Christmas to you too. ----- Original Message ----- From: Edna Wakeham To: [email protected] Sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 8:52 PM Subject: Re: [GENHUMOR] 2008 Christmas Letter Dianne - How about the ash borers the Chinese sent our trees? Killed thousands of them in the Chicago area. Thanks to the Japs, we have Japanese beetles I kill thousands of them every summer, but they keep multiplying. I think you get 5 more for each one you kill. Two years ago we had the 17 year locusts. I don't know where they came from, but you can bet it was the Far East somewhere. I don't know, I guess it's better to get these bugs than it is to get all this illegals we have. I see where Bush had shoes thrown at him in Iraq, the ultimate insult. Wonder if any of them fit him? Do you remember when we used to get everything that said "Made in Japan" I guess maybe those were the good old days. Merry Christmas to you and yours. Edna -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter. We are a community of 5.7 million users fighting spam. SPAMfighter has removed 2026 of my spam emails to date. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len The Professional version does not have this message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to [email protected] with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.9.18/1848 - Release Date: 12/14/2008 12:28 PM ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to [email protected] with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message

Dianne - How about the ash borers the Chinese sent our trees? Killed thousands of them in the Chicago area. Thanks to the Japs, we have Japanese beetles I kill thousands of them every summer, but they keep multiplying. I think you get 5 more for each one you kill. Two years ago we had the 17 year locusts. I don't know where they came from, but you can bet it was the Far East somewhere. I don't know, I guess it's better to get these bugs than it is to get all this illegals we have. I see where Bush had shoes thrown at him in Iraq, the ultimate insult. Wonder if any of them fit him? Do you remember when we used to get everything that said "Made in Japan" I guess maybe those were the good old days. Merry Christmas to you and yours. Edna -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter. We are a community of 5.7 million users fighting spam. SPAMfighter has removed 2026 of my spam emails to date. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len The Professional version does not have this message

been waiting for the someone to bad mouth me for sending in the letter. They must be all asleep. <laughing> Merry Christmas to you too. ----- Original Message ----- From: Edna Wakeham To: [email protected] Sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 8:52 PM Subject: Re: [GENHUMOR] 2008 Christmas Letter Dianne - How about the ash borers the Chinese sent our trees? Killed thousands of them in the Chicago area. Thanks to the Japs, we have Japanese beetles I kill thousands of them every summer, but they keep multiplying. I think you get 5 more for each one you kill. Two years ago we had the 17 year locusts. I don't know where they came from, but you can bet it was the Far East somewhere. I don't know, I guess it's better to get these bugs than it is to get all this illegals we have. I see where Bush had shoes thrown at him in Iraq, the ultimate insult. Wonder if any of them fit him? Do you remember when we used to get everything that said "Made in Japan" I guess maybe those were the good old days. Merry Christmas to you and yours. Edna -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter. We are a community of 5.7 million users fighting spam. SPAMfighter has removed 2026 of my spam emails to date. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len The Professional version does not have this message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to [email protected] with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.9.18/1848 - Release Date: 12/14/2008 12:28 PM

2008 Christmas Letter December 14, 2008 Here we are again, this year seemed to go by too fast. The older I get the faster the years go by. I don't think I will wrap anything this year, maybe do Mall cards. Martha Stewart had a show the other day on how to make your own wrapping paper, by cutting an apple in half horizontally and dipping it into food coloring and starch and imprinting it on plain paper. I don't know what "she" is smoking through her apple core. If we were supposed to wrap packages, it would have been in the Bible. "and lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of paper festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman and pine trees covered with colored balls." And Joseph was going to throweth the paper away, but Mary saideth unto him, "Holdeth it! That is nice paper, foldeth it into a 6" square and saveth it until next year!" and Joseph did rolleth his eyeballs. I know it did say in the Bible that men were to be henpecked, because it says, "and Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Israel." This year our electric bill was so high in the summer every time I saw a helicopter go over I was waiting for the swat team to land and kick in the doors looking for an indoor pot farm. As usual, as every year, the computer was acting up. so I called Pakistan again for help. I hate that. I told him it was driving me crazy and I was on the verge of suicide, he got all excited and asked me if I knew how to drive a truck. Daughter Jill turned 40 this year, but guess she didn't get any wiser, she took me , her husband Russell and the kids, Max and Alix to celebrate her birthday in Disneyland. I didn't think I was going to have the stamina to do 3 days of walking in Disneyland and we had entertained the thought of actually renting a wheelchair to roll around in and maybe be first in line at the wheelchair ramp. Then the kids starting arguing who was going to sit on my lap and ride who was going to push, maybe I could push and they could ride together, so we scratched that thought. Thanksgiving the crowds thinned out about 4pm and we actually got to ride some rides. Bad thing about crowds, the bathrooms get real ugly real quick. Russell came up with a great idea of lining the seat with toilet paper before using it. Great idea, Russ. Let me tell you how great this idea was. After using the rest room as we came into Calif. Great Adventure, we headed up through the park. Russ and the kids walking way ahead of us to go fast pass a ride, a nd I notice people pointing and laughing at Russell and the kids. I poked Jill, who was wearing a stupid looking pom pom hat we bought for Alix, and I say, hey people are checking out your husband and laughing. Jill with her stupid hat says it looks like Russell has a tail. We realize his tail is made of toilet paper hanging from under his shirt at the waist down to the heels of his shoes.. It was late and we were tires and in need a a good laugh. We hung back a while longer to enjoy the show and people starting looking at us funny because we are laughing hysterically. Jill thought she should trot up there and in tears of laughter told Alix to let her Dad know he had paper dragging the pavement. Russell in his quickness to handle the problem reaches back and just seem to to get a square of paper at a time, causing us to laugh even harder. Talk about being the butt of the joke. We laughed every time toilet paper was mentioned. So every time we had a tense moment the rest of the vacation, we asked Russell if he could spare a square. Bob's mom is still with us and at 92 still doing great, just a few aches and pains from old age. She gets mad at the Dr. because he tells her she is old and that comes with a few aches and pains. But every time we go for an office visit, she is fine. She is on coumadin which is a blood thinner, so she is always cold. She has Bob kick the wood stove heat up to 90 and she has on thermal under wear, tops and bottoms, a turtleneck shirt, and a pull over sweat shirt, socks, slippers and an electric lap blanket turned up on high and she is still cold.. Meanwhile we are periodically going outside for air. At night we close our bedroom door and open all the bedroom windows. Luckily we haven't had to use the heater, still just going by the wood stove. While we were in Disneyland we left Bob in charge of his Mom and her weanie dog, figured he could handle that, what could go wrong. He was making her a sandwich when her dog rolls her ball under the T.V. armoire. He told her he would get it, just wait for a minute. He comes around the corner to find his 92 year old Mother standing on her white cotton ball head with her hands on the ground and bent over at the waist. As he looks at her, she neatly tucks in her knees and gently rolls over on to her back. She is laughing he says and he thinks she is nuts. She said she didn't want to get down on her knees to look for the ball because she couldn't get back up so she thought if she just bent over she could get it. Wrong!!!! He said he should have entered her in the geriatric Olympics,....says she can't wait a minute for anything....... .. Bob is still watching cage fighting on T.V., Grandma Norene and I are just about "tapped out" with this show. Bob found a new program for us to watch it's called "Hunting". What I don't understand, is why after they kill the big deer or elk, do the proceed to tell you how beautiful the animal is. They grab it by the horns and say, "look at it's beautiful mask, check out those magnificent horns, what a beautiful coat", they exclaim as they stroke the damn dead animal like it's a sleeping dog. They count every wart and bump on the horns as a point, "Look Earl, I got a 16 point." If it's so beautiful, why did you kill it? Then there are the guys who after shooting a turkey, wild boar or deer, high five each other, hug and kiss and pat each other on the butts, jump up and down then fall into the weeds and roll around together. Reminds me of a scene from a movie I once saw. Then there is the guy who is so heavily draped with camouflage clothes that he is practically invisible, he is hunched over and walking through the brush and his guide is walking upright with regular clothes on. Or the guys who are looking through binoculars at a deer two miles away on another hill, but they are whispering. Do they really think the deer will hear them?? Too much whispering in the hunting shows for me, I have to turn it on mute so I can read what they are saying. I would like to see a hunting show where it shows the guy fall off his tree stand, miss the shot for the big buck, shoot the turkey decoy by mistake or maybe be in a duck blind with all the ducks flying and he forgot his shell box. I am still not too sure of the Chinese. I was watching the Olympics and found out they put their kids in Olympic school at age 4, seems the Olympic medal will bestow honor on the family and they will be wealthy, forget about loving parents. And don't forget about last years drama with the poison in the dog food, antifreeze in the toothpaste, and lead in the toys, well this year seems like the Chinese have added a chemical to baby formula that they use to make plastic. . Be very careful about buying any "plastic" baby dolls from China this year. You never know!

----- Original Message ----- From: Carey Blueibrat To: [email protected] Sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 2:31 PM Subject: Maxine's Slide Down The Banister Of Life There still funny, even without the cartoons: As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written An impressive new book.. It's called ......... 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People' 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink And be Mary. 3. The difference between the Pope and Your boss, the Pope only expects you To kiss his ring. 4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant Flash and it is gone. 5. The only time the world beats a path to Your door is if you're in the bathroom. 6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and That ice, well, it really chilled the mood. 7. It used to be only death and taxes Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too. 8.. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house. 9 My next house will have no kitchen - just Vending machines and a large trash can. 10. A blonde said, 'I was worried that my Mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.' 11. As you slide down the banister of life, may The splinters never point the wrong way. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter. We are a community of 5.7 million users fighting spam. SPAMfighter has removed 2025 of my spam emails to date. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len The Professional version does not have this message

The pastor shocked the congregation when he announced that he was resigning from the church and moving to a drier climate. After the service a very distraught lady came to the pastor with tears in her eyes, "Oh, Pastor Bob, we are going to miss you so much. We don't want you to leave!" The kindhearted pastor patted her hand and said "Now, now, Carolyn, don't carry on. The pastor who takes my place might be even better than me." "Yeah," she said - "That's what the last one told us too!!!" ===== A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the church yard. He called the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the preacher to the health department. They said since there was no health threat that he should call the sanitation department. The sanitation manager said he could not pick up the mule without authorization from the mayor. Now the preacher knew the mayor and was not too eager to call him. The mayor had a bad temper and was generally hard to deal with, but the preacher called him anyway. The mayor did not disappoint. He immediately began to rant and rave at the pastor and finally said, "Why did you call me anyway? Isn’t it your job to bury the dead?" The preacher paused for a brief moment and then replied: "Yes Mayor, but I always like to notify the next of kin first!" ===== The preacher was having a heart-to-heart talk with a backslider of his flock, whose drinking of moonshine invariably led to quarreling with his neighbors, and occasional shotgun blasts at some of them. "Can’t you see, Ben," intoned the parson, "that not one good thing comes out of this drinking?" "Well, I sort of disagree there," replied the backslider. "It makes me miss the folks I shoot at." =====

On Line Friend I had some free time, so what did I do? I checked the computer to see if I'd heard from you! I used to walk out to a box to retrieve mail. But I'd rather get it instantly, than wait on the snail! Checking my e-mail is always fun! I usually get a joke or greeting from someone. I feel so blessed because on the other end, I know I've connected with a friend! When I've had a hard day and need to share, Here I can find a friend who will listen and care. And to this friend I hope I've let them know That I am always there for them also! Isn't it a strange kind of bond we form? It isn't exactly like the "norm"! But, where is it written, face to face we must be, For you to be a very good friend to me?? That little joke or note, or just a simple "Hi", Could be like a ray of sunshine from the sky! So my online pals, this is dedicated to you, For all the smiles you have made anew! May our friendship continue to grow, And the warmth we feel continue to flow! Always remember this... A smile is such an easy thing to pass along the way, Like a ray of summer sunshine, On a somewhat gloomy day!! Thank you for being my Online Friend!!! -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter. We are a community of 5.7 million users fighting spam. SPAMfighter has removed 2021 of my spam emails to date. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len The Professional version does not have this message

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "OLD" IS WHEN .. Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!" "OLD " IS WHEN ... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. "OLD" IS WHEN ... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door. "OLD" IS WHEN ... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. "OLD" IS WHEN ... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. "OLD" IS WHEN ... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. "OLD" IS WHEN .."Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today "OLD" IS WHEN ... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot. "OLD" IS WHEN ... An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom. AND "OLD" IS WHEN ... You are not sure these are jokes -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter. We are a community of 5.7 million users fighting spam. SPAMfighter has removed 2019 of my spam emails to date. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len The Professional version does not have this message

AOL Email Growing OLD GRACEFULLY A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.." The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink.In fact, this one is on me." As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink, too." The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water." "Coming up," says the bartender. As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one, too." The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water." "Coming right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?" The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter. We are a community of 5.7 million users fighting spam. SPAMfighter has removed 2019 of my spam emails to date. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len The Professional version does not have this message

Some cute graphics came with this in the original email, but obviously they won't be included in a Rootsweb list mail. If anybody wants a copy of this with the small images included email me privately and I'll send you a copy. David Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? A. Ruthless. Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds. Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation. Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet. Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord. Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A. Samson. He brought the house down. Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ? A. Your mother ate us out of house and home. Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once. Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? A. The area around Jordan . The banks were always overflowing. Q. Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible? A. David He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep. Q. Which Bible character had no parents? A. Joshua, son of Nun. Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark ? A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groan.) PS... Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee? Yup, it's in the Bible. It says. . . 'He-brews'

Dear Santa: Don't bring me new dishes, I don't need a new kind of game. Genealogists have peculiar wishes For Christmas I just want a surname. A new washing machine would be great, But it's not the desire of my life. I've just found an ancestor's birth date; What I need now is the name of his wife. My heart doesn't yearn for a ring That would put a real diamond to shame. What I want is a much cheaper thing; Please give me Mary's last name. To see my heart singing with joy, Don't bring me a read leather suitcase, Bring me a genealogist's toy; a surname with dates and a place.

The Red Wagon It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking over the cradle when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures. Immediately he turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus. So he walked up to the boy and said, "Well, where did you get Him, my fine friend?" The little boy replied, "I got him from the church." "And why did you take him?" The boy said, "Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas I would give him a ride around the block in it. ~Unknown~ -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter. We are a community of 5.7 million users fighting spam. SPAMfighter has removed 2012 of my spam emails to date. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len The Professional version does not have this message

SAY A PRAYER Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. "Johnny, wait until we say our prayer." "I don't have to," The boy replied. "Of course, you do," his mother insisted. "We say a prayer before eating, at our house." "That's at our house," Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook. Advise your children to get you quality gifts. After all, they don't want to inherit junk. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter. We are a community of 5.7 million users fighting spam. SPAMfighter has removed 2009 of my spam emails to date. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len The Professional version does not have this message

"For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness." --Ralph Waldo Emerson "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." -Oscar Wilde "By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher and that is a good thing for any man." -Socrates "Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion." ============ As the shopping center's marketing director, I was putting the finishing touches on an ad. I asked Nancy, the newspaper's sales representative, how to spell "eligible." She wrote it down on a card she fished from her purse. I completed the copy, returned the card to her, and she left. Not long after, I received a call from the manager of one of our shoe stores. He asked if I knew if Nancy was married. I told him I thought so and asked why he was interested. "She just gave me her business card," he said, "and on the back she's written 'eligible'." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and favorite sites in one place. Try it now. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter. We are a community of 5.7 million users fighting spam. SPAMfighter has removed 2007 of my spam emails to date. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len The Professional version does not have this message

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one....a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. * P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. * P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit * P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. * P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. * P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. * P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. * P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. * P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. * P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. * P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search * P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!): S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. * P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. * P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. * P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and favorite sites in one place. Try it now. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter. We are a community of 5.7 million users fighting spam. SPAMfighter has removed 2007 of my spam emails to date. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len The Professional version does not have this message

I want to know, when day is done, That life has been worth living, That I have brought somebody joy Through kind, unselfish giving. I want to feel, when evening falls and shadows quickly lengthen, That I have made somebody glad, Some weakness I have strengthened. I want to know that come what may I've left some cheer and gladness; I want to feel at close of day I've banished someone's sadness. I want to feel at close of day That someone's cares were lighter Because of kindness I have done, May someone's life be brighter. Author Unknown -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and favorite sites in one place. Try it now. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter. We are a community of 5.7 million users fighting spam. SPAMfighter has removed 2007 of my spam emails to date. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len The Professional version does not have this message

WHERE Is My SUNDAY Paper? The irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded, wanting to know where her Sunday edition was. "Ma'am," said the newspaper employee, " today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on Sunday." There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition.... as she was heard to mutter "Oh, well .... So that's probably why no one was at church today." -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter. We are a community of 5.7 million users fighting spam. SPAMfighter has removed 2003 of my spam emails to date. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len The Professional version does not have this message

----- Original Message ----- From: DANL ROTH MD To: Anita Earl ; Ella Arnow` ; Gene Earl ; jeff&Chris Smith ; karen hosmon ; Karen DeVeydt ; Rhonda Klickner ; Tom & Marilyn Smithpeters ; Trisha Roth Sent: Wednesday, December 10, 2008 5:23 PM Subject: Fw: Seasons Greetings ----- Original Message ----- From: John Earl To: Pat Smith ; gene earl ; DANL Sent: Wednesday, December 10, 2008 9:32 AM Subject: Fw: Seasons Greetings ----- Original Message ----- From: Judy James To: Anita Simmons ; Dawn Rogers ; Johnny Sent: Sunday, December 07, 2008 10:02 PM Subject: Fw: Seasons Greetings --- On Sun, 12/7/08, Christina Clark <[email protected]> wrote: From: Christina Clark <[email protected]> Subject: Fw: Seasons Greetings To: "judy james" <[email protected]> Date: Sunday, December 7, 2008, 6:34 AM ----- Original Message ----- From: Jamie Gray To: Amber Parry ; Ashley Poole ; Betty Williams ; Brielle Zsido ; Celeste Barber ; Chrissy ; Bridget Gray ; Brittanye Holman ; Dana Wolf ; Dave and Candy Lemons ; Debbie Pinkston ; Debbie Studebaker ; Densie Fryar ; Dwight Robertson ; Gail Ross ; Heather Galloway ; Kathy Dwyer ; Lynn and Kirk Bawiec ; Melanie Stewart ; Michele Wilson ; Nola Denham ; Niki Webb ; [email protected] ; Ruth Gerstenberg ; Shannon Sloan ; Sharon King ; Sherry Shelby ; Stacie Vercellino ; Sophia Stergiou Sent: Saturday, December 06, 2008 9:49 PM Subject: FW: Seasons Greetings Subject: FW: Seasons Greetings Today...I wish you a day of ordinary miracles- A fresh pot of coffee you didn't have to make yourself. An unexpected phone call from an old friend. Green stoplights on your way to work or shop. I wish you a day of little things to rejoice in... The fastest line at the grocerystore. A good sing along song on the radio. Your keys right where you look. I wish you a day of happiness and perfection... little bite-size pieces of perfection that give you the funny feeling that SOMEONE is smiling on you, and holding you so gently because you are someone special and rare. I wish You a day of Peace, Happiness and Joy. Send this phrase to the people you'll never forget . It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them. If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in too much of a hurry and that you've probably forgotten your friends. Take the time! Wishing you the very best for 2008 Christmas Season Send e-mail faster without improving your typing skills. Get your Hotmail® account. = Send e-mail faster without improving your typing skills. Get your Hotmail® account. Send e-mail faster without improving your typing skills. Get your Hotmail® account. Suspicious message? There’s an alert for that. Get your Hotmail® account now.

A TIME CALLED CHRISTMAS There is a time called Christmas, When love is in our hearts, For family, friends and strangers too, >From home or foreign parts. There is a time called Christmas, We hope will never change, With carol singers in the snow, A cheery fireside range. There is a time called Christmas, When Santa on his sleigh, Brings wondrous gifts to every child, To have on Christmas day. There is a time called Christmas, We celebrate the birth, Of Jesus Christ our savior, And peace to men on earth. There is a time called Christmas, When all our hearts should sing, When friend and foe unite at last, When all the church bells ring. There is a time called Christmas, That glorious holy day, With families singing 'round the tree, And little ones are ever so gay. There is a time called Christmas, When peace covers the earth, When church bells ring and angels sing, Goodwill to men on earth. There is a time called Christmas, If only it could stay, In men on earth within their hearts, On each and every day. -- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter. We are a community of 5.7 million users fighting spam. SPAMfighter has removed 1997 of my spam emails to date. Get the free SPAMfighter here: http://www.spamfighter.com/len The Professional version does not have this message