How about a letter to the editor in any/all of the newspapers in the surrounding area??? Jeanine ----- Original Message ----- From: Betty To: [email protected] Sent: Saturday, November 20, 2004 6:06 AM Subject: [GenCT] U.S.GenWeb site .. Active? (DEXTER in Killingly) Hello, I've written many queries about the DEXTER families in Killingly, CT, from about the 1790's on during the past few years. My queries are based on John and Mary DEXTER who probably lived on the Marvin DEXTER Farm in Killingly during the late 1800's. Right around 1890 they mysteriously moved to Boston, MA. In 1899, Mary DEXTER died, and in 1905 John DEXTER died, still living in MA. In 1892 they had officially adopted a baby girl who had just turned 3, and they renamed her to Mary Anna Clark DEXTER (from Mrs. DEXTER's maiden name). My mother and aunts started this research many years ago, and were not successful in coming up with too many "facts," only learning that most of the "stories" told to their mother for the 8-9 years she lived with the DEXTER's .. were not exactly true ! I started searching for information on the extended DEXTER family 4 years ago, and have not been too much more successful. However .... during the past month, I have a better feeling about one of my theories. I don't have time to tell the very long story of the DEXTER's from 1890 to 1905 this morning. They can probably be found in the archives of the Lists. My theory is as follows, speaking as briefly as possible: John and Mary (CLARK) DEXTER were married in CT in the 1850's, and had three daughters born to them. Unfortunately, one daughter died at Age 3 and one died at Age 13. The daughter who lived would grow up to become Mrs. Clara YOUNG, marrying Abner of another long-standing Killingly family. Abner and Clara YOUNG only had one child, a son. However, I found at least one census record which showed that Clara had had two pregnancies. I now "think" that Clara "somehow" got pregnant, possibly outside of her marriage, and did not want the baby girl. But, at least one of her parents, who had two daughters die as children, could not bear to lose a .. granddaughter. So, whether or not they had permission to do so, I think they left their life-long home in Killingly around 1890 and moved to Boston, MA. They were in their late 50's at the time (my age now). I don't know when the baby girl went to live with them, but they adopted the baby girl in March 1892. Unfortunately, the "embarrassment" of what had happened stayed with them, and, as the story goes, whenever important company came to visit, their "adopted daughter" was hidden away in the back room of the house they had bought in Melrose, MA. One day when she was a little older she overheard someone in the front hall say: "Some day that little girl must learn who her real father was !" Originally my mother and her siblings heard their mother's stories and thought that the DEXTER's had a teen-age daughter who had "gotten pregnant" and the family told everyone that the baby was the DEXTER's, and thus being raised as the "little sister" of the birth-mother. And, my grandmother remembered there being a teen-age boy in the house, "remembering" she might have had an older brother. But this was definitely not true as their only daughter at the time was married and living in Killingly. And the "older brother" most probably was their grandson, probably visiting from CT. Unfortunately, Mrs. DEXTER was not in the best of health, and she died in April 1899 of "pernicious anemia." And, I don't think Mr. DEXTER was in the best of health either. When his wife died, he took their adopted-daughter to an orphanage in Downtown Boston, and he sold the house in Melrose. I cannot find him ..anywhere.. in the 1900 Census. Either he was in a hospital someplace, or he was living in a boarding house in Downtown Boston and was just not home on the day of the Census. In 1904, he went to the Tewksbury State Hospital and died there a year later. My grandmother, adopted name, Mary Anna Clark DEXTER, lived in orphanages, probably until she was 21. At that time she went to live in her girlfriend's father's home. One of the neighbors was a young man who took quite a liking to her. On Christmas Eve, 1911, they walked to a Minister's home and asked him to marry them. .. My reason for telling this story "again" .. is that I would like to find a newspaper in or near Killingly which would print my story during the coming month. I thought maybe that the DEXTER's still living in the area, or relatives of the DEXTER and YOUNG families might "remember the past" and remember "tidbits" of information of ... what happened when !!! Thank you for your time. Enjoy your weekend ! Betty (near Lowell, MA) FYI: Some information I did not include above is: Karen EDDY in CT is descended from Mrs. DEXTER's mother. We compared family photos and there is a strong family resemblance between her grandmother and my grandmother. When Mrs. DEXTER died, her body was brought back to CT to be buried. When Mr. DEXTER died, his body was buried on the grounds of the State Hospital. While at the State Hospital, John DEXTER only had 2 relatives visit: his only sister, Mrs. Abby CROSBY from Killingly, CT, and his adopted daughter, Mary DEXTER. His daughter, Mrs. Clara YOUNG, from Killingly, CT, did not visit. Abner and Clara's grandson created a YOUNG family document, and his great-grandparents were mentioned in one sentence, and there is no mention at all of his grandmother's younger "adopted" sister. When my grandparents started having their children, their second child and first daughter was born with .. pernicious anemia ! They went on to have 9 children, but 3 died as babies. NO birth certificate can be found on my grandmother - under any name ! She was born on Feb. 1, 1889, and was reportedly "a foundling" found on the steps of a church in Boston. (I doubt this story very much.)