08/25/2000 Off and on for about 20 years, I had been looking for my children's grandmother who mysteriously disappeared in the mid-1940s. It was very difficult to trace her, because she had been married 6 times, but finally Last year I found her grave listed on a GEN-WEB cemeteries page for Tulare County, CA. After obtaining her death certificate and making sure that I had the right person, I wrote to the cemetery asking them to send me the name and address of the person who owned her burial plot. I also requested a copy of her 1975 obituary from the local paper. From that obituary, I obtained the names of her survivors and where they lived in 1975. Then I started searching for their names, as well. I sent a letter to the 25-year old address given to me by the cemetery, but got no response. Since the address was an apartment, I had not had much hope of finding this person. But I noticed that most of her 12 surviving children lived within a four contiguous California counties, so I concentrated my searching efforts to those four counties. I searched every database that I could think of and eventually found death records for three of her sons. As I found each death record, I looked for an obituary. It was very time consuming, but eventually I found a very recent obituary which gave me the current surnames of her daughters and sons and the towns where they lived as of February 2000. Last month I sent very polite letters of inquiry to three addresses that I found on the Internet for people with the same name as her son who owned her burial plot. Yesterday, I got a letter from one of those people, saying that he was the one that I was looking for and that he had been looking for his missing brothers for a very long time!!! He sent me his e-mail address and his telephone number. Yesterday, I sent him a long e-mail asking him about his mother and telling him some things about her that I am sure he did not know. This is very exciting, but yet very scary, all at the same time. I have no idea what kind of person he is, and I do not want to needlessly endanger myself or my family. Does anyone have any ideas for me regarding what I should or should not reveal to this new found relative, the uncle of my children??? I used every search engine that I could find, and eventually