Posted with permission of the transcriber, 'Ann'. Geo. The Whitehaven News, August 7, 1913 THE PEDLAR'S STORY. _____ (FOUNDED ON FACT.) ______ How did I come to this boys? I'll tell you the story now; I've seen better days as you guess - and a chap's got to live somehow. In time my pomp and glory earned four thon' a year. And should have had double by this if it hadn't been for the beer! I was awfully fond of the barley, so I bought some brewery shares. They brought me twenty per cent. But were smashed by the Lloyd George scares. But that didn't take from my bosom the love of the earth and the sea. And your Lakeland valleys and mountains are better than wealth to me! Soon with racing and gambling and women, I was landed at beggary's door; Now I haven't a friend in the world where I used to have many a score. I managed to get a clerkship at eighteen shillings a week. I was only there for a fortnight - I couldn't put up with their cheek! For I once kept my motor and servants and lived in a splendid house, And invited the pick of the county to pot of my pheasants and grouse, And instead of peddling in tap-rooms I swigged my 'cham' with the best; Had dollar cigars and diamonds an opera box and the rest! Went to luncheons and dinners and banquets at a couple of guineas a try, Now I'm glad of a bread and cheese sandwick or a two penny plate of pie. Tripe, black-pudding, and trotters, a penn'orth of fish and chips - O choicest of dainty dishes, the thought; makes me lick my lips! I was always a welcome figure at ball, reception or hop; Now the 'balls' to me most familiar are those o'er my uncle's shop. I had wealth and honors, and jewels and public gifts galore, And now it gives me a shudder to pass the workhouse door! Addresses emblazoned in colour, a silver casket or two, With my portrait in oils by a master, to life both faithful and true; Dressed in my civic garb, boys, with ermine and gold lace - And then came the evil days - disaster, dishonour, disgrace! So I've left off touching the drink, lads - apart from a gallon or two. Which I drink twice or thrice on a night, till everything turns blue! And I smoke no more dollar cigars, lads with the Duke or the Prince of Wales - You may stare as hard as you like, but I'm telling no fairy tales. My clothes aren't just what they used to be, like me their worse for wear! And the thatch on my head's getting thin, I'm bald just here and there. And my eyesight is weakening strangely, and I'm losing my sense of smell. That's the fault of the snuff boys, as any snuffer can tell; And my heart and my knees - they are shaky, I've had 'em for fifty years! And some of my tusks have vanished, and oh, my poor old ears! In fact I'm a wreck and a ruin and my time must be getting short, But whilst I've got a shot in the locker I mean to get hold of a quart! Will you stand a poor devil a drink, boys, I've only had ten to-day. And accept my advice in exchange, and that is to watch and to pray; Pray that you don't get nabbed boys, there ain't any ale in quod, And watch that the Peeler don't spot you when playing the game of Cod! For the world takes a lot of watching if you're dry when you're out on the spree. And if you won't stand me a drink, boys, you'll have to leave one with me. My license is all in order and any man here may look, And devil a one conviction is down in the charges book! CHAS. F. FORSHAW, L. L. D. Bradford. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~