Sisters, I have been reading my mail today and there are so many thoughts and feeling flowing right now, I don't know where to begin. First, I'm Stephanie Stockdale. My screen name is NvSteph. I'm married 8 years (as of August 11) and my birthday is August 19. I have 5 children. Michael is my boy. He's almost 10. He's taking after me and learning to play the sax. He loves to read and his knowlege of the gospel is one that challenges mine. Allison is almost 7 and is practicing to be a beauty queen. � I can't get her out of the bathroom already. If anyone has any hints, PLEASE let me know. Elizabeth is almost 5 and is upset that she has to wait a year for Kindergarten. Jessie is 4 and loves preschool and the Emily is just 18 months and has been in nursery for 2 weeks and loves it! I'm currently serving as Primary Choirister and love it. I've always been behind the piano so this has been a stretch for me. But I love it. I grew up in Southern California but now live in St. Louis, Missouri and will never go back. I love it here. Now. If you're still reading, I have something to say! This whole thing about children is terrible. It is being treated to one extreme to another. There can be middle ground here that we all can meet on. I got pregnant with my Michael when I was 16. Needless to say, my folks weren't happy. Being brought up in the church this didn't go over really good. I never once considered an abortion, though it was the popular thing to do at the time. My mom was dead-set on adoption, but being the strong spirit I am, I fought her up until the last day! On Dec 7, 1987, my angel was born. He has brought so much joy into my life I can't imagine him not being with me. At three, he knew the story of Abinidi so well that during the LA riots, he repremanded my 17 year old Brother in law when they wanted to go "Blow away all the fools." He has always been my little missionary and continues to be. The past few weeks have been extremely trying on me. Money has been really tight for us, I've been sick, my daughter has been sick, every possible unexpected expense that can pop up has, school started and so we had to get all the supplies and clothes, this has all been quite a bit for me to handle. Almost too much. Yes, I know that life would be easier without the kids. I'd have freedom, not nearly the money problems, I wouldn't feel all the stress. And Satan has been pushing all this stuff on me during this time. He's worked on my pride, my faith, and everything else he could think of. Quite a bit lately, All I could think was that "I need to get away!" Not forever, but just for a while. But when I feel the lowest, Miss Emily comes in and shows me a picture of Winnie the Pooh, of Liz comes in for a kiss. I can't imagine not having them here every day. But at the same time, I know that there are women out there who shouldn't have become mothers and did. My niece is better to be in daycare 12-16 hours a day than to be at home. Almost everyone I talk to, there has been some form of verbal or emotional abuse growing up. If this is not taken care of, then it is passed on to their children. With the drug usages and neglect going on in some homes today, I applaude women who feel that they are not able to do this and so they don't. Why bring another unwanted child into this world? Only the child will suffer. I'm not going to go into Diane's situation because I was not there. I don't know what the circumstances were, therefore, I have no place to speak. But I know that it is a choice. And I love the children I have. Thanks for listening. Steph PS. Sorry about the length.