Senility God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered: ONE- I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. TWO- My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran. THREE- I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart. FOUR- Funny, I don't remember being absent minded... FOUR- Funny, I don't remember being absent minded... FOUR- Funny, I don't remember being absent minded... FIVE- All reports are in; life is now officially unfair. SIX- If all is not lost, where is it? SEVEN- It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. EIGHT- Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. NINE- Funny, I don't remember being absent minded... TEN- Kids in the back seat cause accidents. ELEVEN- Accidents in the back seat cause kids. TWELVE- It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. THIRTEEN- The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom. FOURTEEN- If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. FIFTEEN- When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess? SIXTEEN- It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere. SEVENTEEN- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. EIGHTEEN- These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter. NINETEEN- I AM UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE EMAILED THIS TO YOU BEFORE OR NOT! TWENTY - Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ......... --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.314 / Virus Database: 175 - Release Date: 11/01/02