Be careful what you inscribe on a tombstone. Here are some funny ones! Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sir John Strange Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes who died January 3, 1803 His comely young widow, aged 23, has many qualifications of a good wife, and yearns to be comforted. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ann Mann Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Russell J. Larsen buried in Logan, Ut. Two things I love most, good horses and beautiful women, And when I die I hope they tan this old hide of mine and make it into a ladies riding saddle, So I can rest in peace between the two things I love ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- In Memory of Beza Wood Departed this life Nov. 2, 1837 Aged 45 yrs. Here lies one Wood Enclosed in wood One Wood Within another. The outer wood Is very good: We cannot praise The other. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- When the great judgement day arrives and Joshua Fenton Newton does not emerge from this hole, you will know that someone made a mistake and buried me in the wrong hole. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- >From La Pointe, Wis. To the Memory of Abraham Beaulieu Born 15 September 1822 Accidentally shot 4th April 1844 As a mark of affection from his brother. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- >From Burlington Vt. She lived with her husband fifty years And died in the confident hope of a better life. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here lies my wife: Here let her lie! Now she's at rest And so am I. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here Lies Mary Smith Silent At Last ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't go alone when transcribing cemeteries!!! A woman in KY, an avid cemetery hunter did what no gal should do. She had heard about a cemetery in the woods long sought after and went by herself . It was way off the beaten path. She found the cemetery and was getting ready to mark the names and dates down when she heard a click on either side of her. She was on her hands and knees. She looked up and saw a fellow on either side of her with a rifle, cocked. In her excitement, she had been pulling up grass and weeds to clear the stones. When she glanced down, she saw what she had been pulling ... their "crop" ready for harvesting - the illegal type of hemp! Thinking quickly (and likely praying a lot!) she turned on the tears and said "Oh, I hope I'm not trespassing ... I'm just so happy .... THERE'S GRANDPA!" "I've hunted for his grave for years (sob, sob), and there he is, oh Grandpa!" They took one look at her and just walked away. Never go cemetery hunting alone!!! By the way, she didn't have the foggiest idea of who was buried there, but bet her real grandpa was proud of her! Author: Sandi Gorin ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- I can see this happening at a genealogist's grave..... Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. "Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?" "Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Shame, Shame, Shame A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied ................."My wife's first husband." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point...he really never said too much. One day, a saleswoman promoting a certain brand of brushes knocked on his door and asked to see his wife, so the guy told her that she wasn't home. "Well," the woman said, "could I please wait for her?" The man directed her to the drawing room and left her there for more than three hours. After feeling really worried, she called out for him and asked, "May I know where your wife is?" " She went to the cemetery," he replied. "And when is she coming home?" "I don't really know," he said. "She's been there eleven years now." --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.351 / Virus Database: 197 - Release Date: 4/19/2002