> 1 - If you love something, set it free. > If it comes back, it will always be yours. > If it doesn't come back, it was never > yours to begin with. But, if it just sits > in your living room, messes up your stuff, > eats your food, uses your telephone, takes > your money, and doesn't appear to realize > that you had set it free . . . you either > married it or gave birth to it. > > 2 - Insanity is my only means of relaxation. > > 3 - Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every > day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a > hamstring. > > 4 - One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound > box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs. > > 5 - My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves > completely. > > 6 - The best way to forget all your troubles is > to wear tight shoes. > > 7 - The nice part about living in a small town > is that when you don't know what you're doing, > someone else does. > > 8 - The older you get, the tougher it is to lose > weight because by then, your body and your fat > are really good friends. > > 9 - Just when I was getting used to yesterday, > along came today. > > 10 - Sometimes I think I understand everything, then > I regain consciousness. > > 11 - Amazing! You hang something in your closet for > awhile and it shrinks two sizes! > > 12 - Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they > say things like, "You know, sometimes I just > forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, > my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've > never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special > kind of stupid to forget to eat. > > 13 - A friend of mine confused her valium with her > birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she > doesn't really care. > > 14 - I read this article that said the typical symptoms > of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, > and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is > my idea of a perfect day. > > 15 - I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is > that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff. > > 16 - If men can run the world, why can't they stop > wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start > the day by tying a noose around your neck? > > Send this to five bright women you know and > make their day!! > > --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.314 / Virus Database: 175 - Release Date: 1/11/02