I'd have to research it, but I'm betting it could easily be true... And it is scary... Just another soggy Seattle Sysop. -----Original Message----- From: Marged [mailto:marged@btinternet.com] Sent: Saturday, January 19, 2002 12:28 PM To: GEN-FRIENDS-L@rootsweb.com Subject: Re: [GEN-FRIENDS] FW: 14 Years Ago George, already I know you would not kid us about something like this, but it chills my blood. Tell me it really is true? Marj

Just another soggy Seattle Sysop. Do you remember this? It was 1987! At a lecture the other day they played an old news video of Lt.Col. Oliver North testifying at the Iran-Contra hearings during the Reagan Administration. There was Ollie in front of God and country getting the third degree, but what he said was stunning! He was being drilled by some senator; "Did you not recently spend close to $60,000 for a home security system?" Ollie replied, "Yes, I did, Sir." The senator continued, trying to get a laugh out of the audience," Isn't that just a little excessive?" "No, sir," continued Ollie. "No? And why not?" the senator asked. "Because the lives of my family and I were threatened, sir" "Threatened? By whom?" the senator questioned. "By a terrorist, sir" Ollie answered. "Terrorist? What terrorist could possibly scare you that much?" "His name is Osama bin Laden, sir" Ollie replied. At this point the senator tried to repeat the name, but couldn't pronounce it, which most people back then probably couldn't. A couple of people laughed at the attempt. Then the senator continued. "Why are you so afraid of this man?" the senator asked. "Because, sir, he is the most evil person alive that I know of", Ollie answered. "And what do you recommend we do about him?" asked the senator. "Well, sir, if it was up to me, I would recommend that an assassin team be formed to eliminate him and his men from the face of the earth." The senator disagreed with this approach, and that was all that was shown of the clip. If anyone is interested, the senator was none other than Al Gore.

I'm in the same boat as Vicky's hubby, so I know what's going on! I do things my way and I do get them done, just takes a bit longer! :) Just another soggy Seattle Sysop. -----Original Message----- From: Dave Allen [mailto:dave@cdcatalogues.co.uk] Sent: Saturday, January 19, 2002 11:46 AM To: GEN-FRIENDS-L@rootsweb.com Subject: Re: [GEN-FRIENDS] slow today > Now you take care of yourself and let that husband of yours take care of > things... He may not do it your way, but he'll get it done eventually! :) > Just another soggy Seattle Sysop. Now <whose> side are you on George ? Speaking as one who <never> manages to do things <that> way ............... Dave :-)

Now you take care of yourself and let that husband of yours take care of things... He may not do it your way, but he'll get it done eventually! :) Just another soggy Seattle Sysop. -----Original Message----- From: Vicky Ballantine [mailto:cobolt47@frontiernet.net] Sent: Saturday, January 19, 2002 9:22 AM To: GEN-FRIENDS-L@rootsweb.com Subject: [GEN-FRIENDS] slow today Sorry friends if I'm slow today. I'm kinda drugged up and my thoughts aren't to clear. Yesterday, while helping hubby cut down tree's I fell on frozen dirt road, hard. Broke my knee, tore muscle in my hip, twisted my ankle and landed hard on the same wrist I damaged 5 weeks ago! I'm a real mess. Was in the ER from 2 to 5:30 yesterday--then had to find some medicine, and then climb a step to get into my house. John had to go and get a walker for my use. Won't be able to see the bone specialist until next week. Will stay with the walker and knee brace until then. Well, bless everyone--I more than likely won't be on this much until I can get around more! Brian, lovely name for the Yorkie! Vicky

Sorry friends if I'm slow today. I'm kinda drugged up and my thoughts aren't to clear. Yesterday, while helping hubby cut down tree's I fell on frozen dirt road, hard. Broke my knee, tore muscle in my hip, twisted my ankle and landed hard on the same wrist I damaged 5 weeks ago! I'm a real mess. Was in the ER from 2 to 5:30 yesterday--then had to find some medicine, and then climb a step to get into my house. John had to go and get a walker for my use. Won't be able to see the bone specialist until next week. Will stay with the walker and knee brace until then. Well, bless everyone--I more than likely won't be on this much until I can get around more! Brian, lovely name for the Yorkie! Vicky America the Beautiful Vicky B. cobolt47@frontiernet.net Iowa--USA --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.314 / Virus Database: 175 - Release Date: 1/11/2002

On his first night in the "Big House" a convict becomes confused when, after `Lights Out', other prisoners in the cell block occasionally call-out numbers. "Forty-four!" followed by a round of laughter from the block. "One sixty eight!" more laughter and a few guffaws. "Three hundred thirty seven!" the laughter continues for some time. The convict turns to his cellmate and asks, "Why is everyone laughing at numbers?" The cellmate says, "Most of us have been here so long, we've already heard and memorized all the jokes. So we assigned each joke a number. Now, to tell a joke, all we have to do is sing-out it's number." The convict replies, "Hey, that's great! I'm gonna try!" The convict yells, "Sixty three!" and is answered by silence. He tries, "Two hundred fourteen," again, silence. Befuddled, he cries out, "Three oh eight!!!" The silence looms ominously. He turns to his cellmate and says, "I don't get it, I called out the numbers, but nobody laughed!" The man replies, "Hey, some guys just don't know how to tell a good joke!" --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.314 / Virus Database: 175 - Release Date: 1/11/2002

This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying "Nerds Not Allowed - Enter At Your Own Risk!" He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says, "You smell kind of nerdy. What do you do for a living?" The truck driver says, "I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers I am hauling." The bartender says, "Okay, truck drivers are not nerds." and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver said, totally shocked, "Why did you do that?" The bartender said, "Not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating Silicon Valley and are in season now. You don't even need a license." The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers. They are all engineers, accountants and programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen. He can't let them steal his whole load. So, remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, felling several of them instantly. A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop. The truck driver said, "What's wrong? I thought nerds were in season." "Well, sure," said the patrolman. "But you can't bait 'em." --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.314 / Virus Database: 175 - Release Date: 1/11/2002

Ole Dub was riding his Harley one day up a hill. He ran up behind this old couple that had a bumper sticker on it that said -- I May Be Slow But I'm Ahead Of You. This tore Ole Dub up and he opened the throttle and passed this couple. As he was speeding by, he hit a dip in the road and flipped over a cliff. Luckily he was able to grab a branch on the way down. As he hung on for dear life, he looked down and saw it was at least 500 feet to the bottom and was full of rocks. He then looked up and hollered, "Is there anyone up there that can help me?" A great voice boomed down from heaven, "YES SON I CAN." Ole Dub asked, "What do you want me to do?" The great voice replied, "JUST TURN LOOSE." Ole Dub looked down again at that 500 foot drop and the rocks below. He looked up again and asked, "Is anyone else up there?" --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.314 / Virus Database: 175 - Release Date: 1/11/2002

And we wonder why our children can't spell-- ----------------------------------------------- Pamela Anderson is going on this boat trip with her three-year-old son. Upon passing a large sailboat, the little one cries, "Look mom, an airplane!" Pamela corrects her son immediately, "No, that's a sailboat." The son then asked, "A sailboat? How's that spelled?" And Pamela spells, "S-A-I-L-B-O-A-T." A few moments later, a giant Hovercraft passes the ship. "Wow, mom," the boy says, "A sailboat!" "No," Pamela almost immediately corrects him, "That's a Hovercraft." "Hovercraft?" the boy wonders, "How is that spelled?" Pamela thinks for a while and answers, "Well what do you know, it IS a sailboat!" --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.314 / Virus Database: 175 - Release Date: 1/11/2002

This is absolutely the best message ever. Thank you Ashley for sharing it with us! I've passed it on--several directions in fact! ----- Original Message ----- From: "Ashley Tiwara" <grubisic@netwurx.net> To: <LIVING-L@rootsweb.com> >Forwarded many times, sent to me by a possible cousin, who sends >lots of interesting stories along the lines. Anyone researching >KUCHAN, from northern Croatia? Would appreciate hearing from you. Ashley > >Subject: The Table Cloth With a Cross > >The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first >ministry, to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn, arrived in early >October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their >church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal >to have everything done in time to have their first service on >Christmas Eve. > >They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc. >and on Dec 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished. On >Dec 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm - hit the area and >lasted for two days. > >On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank >when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of >plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the >sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high. The >pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, not knowing what else to do >but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. > >On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market >type sale for charity so he stopped in. One of the items was a >beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, > crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross >embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to >cover up the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back >to the church. > >By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from >the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus. She missed it. >The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus >45 minutes later. She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the >pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the >tablecloth as a wall >tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked >and it covered up >the entire problem area. > >Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face >was like a sheet. "Pastor," she asked, "where did you get that >tablecloth" The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the >lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crocheted into >it there. They were. >These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this >tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria. > >The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just >gotten the Tablecloth. The woman explained that before the war she >and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria. When the Nazis >came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her >the next week. She was captured, sent to prison and never saw her >husband or her home again. The pastor wanted to give her the >tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The >pastor insisted on driving her home, that was the >least he could do. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and >was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job. > >What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was >almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of >the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door >and many said that they would return. >One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood, >continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor >wondered why he wasn't leaving. The man asked him where he got the >tablecloth on the front wall >because it was identical to one that his wife had made years ago >when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two >tablecloths so much alike He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how >he forced his wife to flee for her safety, and he was supposed to >follow her, but he was >arrested and put in a prison. He never saw his wife or his home >again all the 35 years in between. > >The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little >ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the >pastor had taken the woman three days earlier. He helped the man >climb the three flights of stairs >to the woman's apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the >greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine. > >True Story - submitted by Pastor Rob Reid Who says God does not work in >mysterious ways. > > I asked the Lord to bless you as I prayed for you today. >To guide you and protect you as you go along your way.... >His love is always with you, His promises are true, And when we give Him >all our cares you know He will see us through. >So when the road you're traveling on seems difficult at best, Just >remember I'm here praying, and God will do the rest. > >Pass this on to those you want God to bless, and don't forget to send it >back to the one who asked God to bless you first. -- --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.314 / Virus Database: 175 - Release Date: 1/11/2002

These are good...............From The Original T.V. Show. These are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are now. Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high? A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Q: True or false...a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes... Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he's married? A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you"? A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty. Q: What are "Do It", "I Can Help" and "Can't Get Enough"? A: George Gobel: I don't know but it's coming from the next apartment. Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking? A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question, Peter...and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget! Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year? A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing strawberries! Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score? A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.One is politics. What is the other? A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures. Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom. Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out. Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do? A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark. Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. Q: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army! Q: While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo!Poo!". What does that mean? A: George Goebel: Cattle crossing. Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body - what is it? A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected! Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. Q: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star star in the movie "What's The Matter With Helen?". Who plays Helen? A: Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver - that's why they asked the question. Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for it's sex? A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him. Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A: Charley Weaver: His feet. Q: Do female frogs croak? A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads underwater long enough. Q: Imagine you are a child in your mother's womb. Can you detect light? A: Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice. --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.314 / Virus Database: 175 - Release Date: 1/11/2002

Oh she is gorgeous. It's funny the places they like to sleep. Mine sleeps in the dog basket which Holly will not use. One of my friends cats likes to get up on the plate rack of their old Rayburn, especially when it is 'idling'. It has learnt to test the top of the Rayburn before going there but luckily the end away from the firebox is usually quite cool. Roz > > Surprise! You've just received a JigZone Puzzle Postcard > from "Sue" (starshine166@attbi.com)! > > To solve this puzzle postcard, click on the following > Web address at anytime within the next 60 days. > > http://www.jigzone.com/mpc/view.php?CCAIRU72 > > Enjoy! > > ------------------------- > JigZone Jigsaw Puzzle Postcard is a free service. > If you'd like to send someone a Puzzle Postcard, or you want to play > more puzzles you can do so at http://www.jigzone.com > > > ==== GEN-FRIENDS Mailing List ==== > Please change the Subject line when the subject of the reply > changes. > > ============================== > To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy records, go to: > http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237 _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com

Lovely cat, Sue - I can picture the conversation when you named her "Shall we call her Patchwork? No we'll call her Quilt"! I have had a few cats like that, tortoiseshells. The first was during WW2, Fluffy. Then in 1957, The Famous Eccles (people used to say "Oh, yes, because she looks like an Eccles Cake, but that wasn't the reason, was it guys?) The last of the torties was Candy, who is buried in the garden of this house. Marj --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.314 / Virus Database: 175 - Release Date: 11/01/02

19 JANUARY 1544: Birth of Francis II, King of France, son of Catherine de’Medici and husband of Mary, Queen of Scots. 1736: Birth of James Watt, the Scottish inventor of the Steam Engine, who gave his name to a unit of power. 1793: King Louis XVI, King of France, was convicted of treason and beheaded. His wife, Marie Antoinette, followed in October of that year. 1807: Birth of Robert Edward Lee, American general and Commander-in-Chief of the Confederate Army in the Civil War. 1809: Birth of Edgar Allan Poe, the American poet and short story writer who pioneered the modern detective story. 1813: Birth of Sir Henry Bessemer, who gave his name to a process for converting cast iron into steel. 1839: Birth of Paul Cézanne, the French painter and pioneer of the Impressionist movement. 1853: The first performance of Verdi’s Il Trovatore in Rome. 1854: The 'Tayleur' bound for Melbourne, lost in a fog off Wirral. All 334 passengers and crew lost. 1857: Mutiny aboard the American 'James L. Bogart' while anchored in the Mersey. 1870: Two New York sisters became the world’s first stockbrokers. Victoria Caffin Woodhall and Tennessee Caffin attracted mainly female customers, but the business collapsed because of their outspoken views on Marxism and racial equality. 1884: Massenet’s opera Manon was first performed in Paris. 1903: In Paris, it was announced that a new bicycle race called the ‘Tour de France’ would be held. 1915: German Zeppelins bombed Great Yarmouth and King’s Lynn in the first raid on England, causing casualties. 1920: Birth in Peru of Javier Pérez de Cuéllar, secretary-general of the UN from 1982. 1921: Birth of Patricia Highsmith, the American crime fiction writer. 1937: The first play written for British television, The Underground Murder Mystery by J. Bissell Thomas, was broadcast by the BBC. The 30-minute play was set in Tottenham Court Road tube station. 1942: The Japanese invaded Burma. 1955: Birth of Simon Rattle, English conductor. 1966: Indira Gandhi became Prime Minister of India, following her father Jawaharlal Nehru. 1966: Sir Robert Menzies resigned as Australian Premier after 16 years in office. 1969: Jan Pallach, a Czech student, immolated himself in Wenceslas Square in protest against the Russian invasion. On the 25th, he was buried as a martyr. 1971: Postal strike began throughout Britain. 1988: Christopher Nolan, a 22-year-old Irish writer, won the £20,000 Whitbread Book of the Year Award for his autobiography, Under the Eye of the Clock. Completely paralysed, Nolan used a ‘unicorn’ attachment on his forehead to write the novel at a painfully slow speed. --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.314 / Virus Database: 175 - Release Date: 11/01/02

Yours are the first two I have been able to open. Danni shouldn't have problems at her age. I don't believe you. Now you can go into the photo album. Brian List Admin www.lordbramhall.co.uk ----- Original Message ----- From: <rubbish@clara.co.uk> To: <GEN-FRIENDS-L@rootsweb.com> Sent: Thursday, January 17, 2002 8:07 PM Subject: [GEN-FRIENDS] Sue has sent you a Puzzle Postcard > > Surprise! You've just received a JigZone Puzzle Postcard > from "Sue" (rubbish@clara.co.uk)! > > To solve this puzzle postcard, click on the following > Web address at anytime within the next 60 days. > > http://www.jigzone.com/mpc/view.php?15AG6X69 > > Enjoy! > > ------------------------- > JigZone Jigsaw Puzzle Postcard is a free service. > If you'd like to send someone a Puzzle Postcard, or you want to play > more puzzles you can do so at http://www.jigzone.com > > > ==== GEN-FRIENDS Mailing List ==== > Please change the Subject line when the subject of the reply > changes. > > ============================== > To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy records, go to: > http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237 > > --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.314 / Virus Database: 175 - Release Date: 11/01/2002

It's a cracker Bubbles from Robin Hood Country. ----- Original Message ----- From: "George Elting" <justgeo1@attbi.com> To: <GEN-FRIENDS-L@rootsweb.com> Sent: Friday, January 18, 2002 10:09 PM Subject: [GEN-FRIENDS] FW: January 18, 2002 : : : : Just another soggy Seattle Sysop. : : > ***** : > : > Bob was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign, hit his car : broadside, and knocked him out cold. Passers by pulled him from the wreck : and revived him. : > : > Bob began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the : paramedics. : > : > Later, after Bob calmed down, they asked him why he struggled so much. : > : > Bob said, "I remembered the impact. Then... nothing. I woke up on a : concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing sign. Turns out somebody was : standing in front of the 'S' on the 'Shell' sign." : > : : : ==== GEN-FRIENDS Mailing List ==== : Please type SURNAMES in UPPER CASE for ease of reading. : : ============================== : To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy records, go to: : http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237 : :

Surprise! You've just received a JigZone Puzzle Postcard from "Sue" (starshine166@attbi.com)! To solve this puzzle postcard, click on the following Web address at anytime within the next 60 days. http://www.jigzone.com/mpc/view.php?CCAIRU72 Enjoy! ------------------------- JigZone Jigsaw Puzzle Postcard is a free service. If you'd like to send someone a Puzzle Postcard, or you want to play more puzzles you can do so at http://www.jigzone.com

Excellent, David. I especially like the last one. Jean ----- Original Message ----- From: "davspark" <davspark@ntlworld.com> To: <GEN-FRIENDS-L@rootsweb.com> Sent: Friday, January 18, 2002 2:47 PM Subject: [GEN-FRIENDS] For amusement !. > >From my Canadian friend > > David > It's Not A Bad Thing. > > At 85 years of age, Morris marries LouAnne, a lovely 25-year-old. Because her new husband is so old, LouAnne decides that on their wedding night, she and Morris are to have separate bedrooms. The newlywed is concerned that her new husband may over exert himself if they spend the entire night together. > > After the wedding festivities, LouAnne prepares herself for bed, and for the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough, the knock comes, the door opens, and there is her 85-year-old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, whereupon Morris takes leave of LouAnne, and she prepares to go to sleep. > > After a few minutes, LouAnne hears another knock on her bedroom door. It's Morris! And he's again ready for more action. Somewhat surprised, LouAnne consents to further coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Morris kisses LouAnne, bids her a fond good night, and leaves. > > LouAnne is set to go to sleep again. However, after a few short minutes, there is another knock at her door, and there he is again! Morris, as fresh as a 25-year-old is ready for a bit more action. Again they enjoyone another. > > As Morris is once again set to leave, the young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age, you have such endurance. I've been with guys less than a third your age who were only good once! You're a great lover, Morris." > > Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to LouAnne and says, "You mean I was here already?" > > Such A Deal > > Laszlo was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Laszlo just bounced from one relationship to the next. Finally a friend asked him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?" "No," Laszlo replied. "I meet a lot of nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!" "Listen," his friend suggested, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear ole Mother?" > > Many weeks past before Laszlo and his friend got together again. "So Laszlo, did you find the perfect girl yet. One that's just like your Mother?" Laszlo shrugged his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like Mom. My mother loved her, they became great friends." "Excellent!!! So,.... Are you and this girl engaged, yet?" "I'm afraid not. My Father can't stand her!" > > Hmmmm Ya Think? > > A student comes to a young professor's office after hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door and says... > > "I would do anything to pass this exam" > > She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes and says... > > "I mean" she then whispers "I would do anything" > > He returns her gaze..."Anything?" > > "Anything" > > His voice softens..."Anything?" > > "Anything" > > His voice turns to a whisper..."Would you...study?" > > > > > --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.314 / Virus Database: 175 - Release Date: 1/11/02

A Cajun named Boudreax moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, but I have some bad news. The donkey died." "Well, then, just give me my money back." "Can't do that. I went and spent it already." "OK, then. Just unload the donkey." "What ya gonna do with him?" "I'm going to raffle him off." "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!" "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead." A month later the farmer met up with the Cajun and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?" "I raffled him off. I sold 500 hundred tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998." "Didn't anyone complain?" "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back." --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.314 / Virus Database: 175 - Release Date: 12/01/2002

Now you got to my sense of humour. Thanks for that. Brian List Admin www.lordbramhall.co.uk ----- Original Message ----- From: "George Elting" <justgeo1@attbi.com> To: <GEN-FRIENDS-L@rootsweb.com> Sent: Friday, January 18, 2002 10:09 PM Subject: [GEN-FRIENDS] FW: January 18, 2002 > > > > Just another soggy Seattle Sysop. > > > ***** > > > > Bob was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign, hit his car > broadside, and knocked him out cold. Passers by pulled him from the wreck > and revived him. > > > > Bob began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the > paramedics. > > > > Later, after Bob calmed down, they asked him why he struggled so much. > > > > Bob said, "I remembered the impact. Then... nothing. I woke up on a > concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing sign. Turns out somebody was > standing in front of the 'S' on the 'Shell' sign." > > > > > ==== GEN-FRIENDS Mailing List ==== > Please type SURNAMES in UPPER CASE for ease of reading. > > ============================== > To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy records, go to: > http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237 > > --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.314 / Virus Database: 175 - Release Date: 12/01/2002