POINTS TO PONDER: A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops... On my desk I have a work station... Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? Does fuzzy logic tickle? If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery? I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions. How come you never hear about gruntled employees? I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem. If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is a fog horn made out of? If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check? I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? What WAS the best thing before sliced bread? If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead? Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers? Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together? Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is? Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have? Does the reverse side also have a reverse side? If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into? What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way? If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it? Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!! Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"? Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go? Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor? Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress? Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it? Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase? Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent? Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate? EVER WONDER WHY? Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultry? How do I set my laser printer on stun? How is it possible to have a civil war? If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? Why are hemorrhoids called that instead of "asteroids"? Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? What happens when none of your bees wax? Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket? If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away? He who says 'it cannot be done' should not interrupt he who is doing it. - Chinese Proverb