>>>>> You Know You Are Addicted To The Internet When... >>>>> >>>>> You kiss your girlfriend's home page. >>>>> >>>>> Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom. >>>>> >>>>> Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them. >>>>> >>>>> All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster >>>>> connection to the net: 28.8... ISDN... cable modem... T1... T3. >>>>> >>>>> And even your night dreams are in HTML. >>>>> >>>>> You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like >>>>> you just pulled the plug on a loved one. >>>>> >>>>> You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading. >>>>> >>>>> You start introducing yourself as "Jim at I-I-Net dot net dot au" >>>>> >>>>> Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a >>>>> new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've >>>>> never had heart problems before. >>>>> >>>>> You step out of your room and realize that your parents have >>>>> moved, and you don't have a clue when it happened. >>>>> >>>>> You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can >>>>> hear if new e-mail arrives. >>>>> >>>>> Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you >>>>> of what she looks like. >>>>> >>>>> All of your friends have an @ in their names. >>>>> >>>>> When looking at a page-full of someone else's links, you notice >>>>> all of them are already highlighted in purple. >>>>> >>>>> Your dog has its own home page. >>>>> >>>>> You can't call your mother... she doesn't have a modem. >>>>> >>>>> You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it >>>>> again. >>>>> >>>>> Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box. >>>>> >>>>> You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL. >>>>> >>>>> You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends, because >>>>> they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask. >>>>> >>>>> Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months. >>>>> >>>>> You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check >>>>> your e-mail on the way back to bed. >>>>> >>>>> You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's >>>>> got work to do," and you don't even have a job. >>>>> >>>>> You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse. >>>>> >>>>> Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed." >>>>> >>>>> You get a tattoo that says, "This body best viewed with Netscape >>>>> 3.01 or higher." >>>>> >>>>> You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP... >>>>> because you never log off. >>>>> >>>>> The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg. >>>>> >>>>> You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair >>>>> in front of your computer with a toilet. >>>>> >>>>> Your wife says communication is important in a marriage... so you >>>>> buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two >>>>> of you can chat. >>>>> >>>>> As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, >>>>> your first instinct is to search for the "back" button. >> >> > > He who says 'it cannot be done' should not interrupt he who is doing it. - Chinese Proverb