--part1_bb.154b1f0.25ee8234_boundary Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him. An angel heard his plea and appeared to him. "Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you." The man begged the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules. The man continued to pray that his wealth could follow him. The angel reappeared and informed the man that God had decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathered his largest suitcase and filled it with pure gold bars and placed it beside his bed. Soon afterward he died and showed up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter. St. Peter, seeing the suitcase, said, "Hold on, you can't bring that in here!" The man explained to St. Peter that he had permission and asked him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, St. Peter checked, came back and said, "You're right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its contents before letting it through." St. Peter opened the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaimed, "You brought pavement?" >> --part1_bb.154b1f0.25ee8234_boundary Content-Type: message/rfc822 Content-Disposition: inline Return-Path: <jokes-return-86-SunShin714=aol.com@jokes.twistedhumor.com> Received: from rly-za03.mx.aol.com (rly-za03.mail.aol.com [172.31.36.99]) by air-za01.mail.aol.com (v69.17) with ESMTP; Wed, 01 Mar 2000 06:23:57 -0500 Received: from redsox.cybercon.com (redsox.cybercon.com [216.15.130.76]) by rly-za03.mx.aol.com (v69.17) with ESMTP; Wed, 01 Mar 2000 06:23:36 -0500 Received: (qmail 23343 invoked from network); 1 Mar 2000 08:16:36 -0000 Received: from yankees.cybercon.com (216.15.130.75) by redsox.cybercon.com with SMTP; 1 Mar 2000 08:16:36 -0000 Delivered-To: distributor for jokes@jokes.twistedhumor.com Mailing-List: contact jokes-help@jokes.twistedhumor.com; run by ezmlm Precedence: bulk X-No-Archive: yes List-Help: <mailto:jokes-help@jokes.twistedhumor.com> List-Unsubscribe: <mailto:jokes-unsubscribe-SunShin714=aol.com@jokes.twistedhumor.com> From: "TwistedHumor.com" <jokes@jokes.TwistedHumor.com> To: SunShin714@aol.com Delivered-To: mailing list jokes@jokes.twistedhumor.com Delivered-To: moderator for jokes@jokes.twistedhumor.com Received: (qmail 4251 invoked from network); 1 Mar 2000 08:16:03 -0000 Date: 1 Mar 2000 07:02:02 -0000 Message-ID: <20000301070202.27838.qmail@server.twistedhumor.com> Subject: TwistedHumor.com Funnies of the Day - March 1, 2000 Over 6.0 Million daily joke emails delivered every month !!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TwistedHumor.com Funnies of the Day - March 1, 2000 <><><><><> If you like TwistedHumor you'll love this! Create your own movie. Email it to friends. Register it for a chance to win a FREE TRIP TO JAMAICA courtesy of Fuxito.com. http://animation.fuxito.com <><><><><> TwistedHumor.com Joke of the Day "God's Sense of Humor" - Rated PG There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him. An angel heard his plea and appeared to him. "Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you." The man begged the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules. The man continued to pray that his wealth could follow him. The angel reappeared and informed the man that God had decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathered his largest suitcase and filled it with pure gold bars and placed it beside his bed. Soon afterward he died and showed up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter. St. Peter, seeing the suitcase, said, "Hold on, you can't bring that in here!" The man explained to St. Peter that he had permission and asked him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, St. Peter checked, came back and said, "You're right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its contents before letting it through." St. Peter opened the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaimed, "You brought pavement?" <><><><><> WIN BIG! Subscribe to GreatLifeLessons, a free ezine offering inspiration from the lives of great people. It'll change your life. And that's no joke. Click Here: http://www.greatlifelessons.com/gll/main/default.asp?rb=201119 <><><><><> Image of the Day - March 1, 2000 Shaved Pussy - Rated PG-13 http://www.twistedhumor.com/pi/2000/mar/01.shtml <><><><><> QUICKIES - Rated PG What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Stick his bill up his ass. <><><><><> SCAM!!! SCAM!!! SCAM!!!! SCAM!!!! SCAM!!!! ATTENTION!!! Is the whole 'paid to surf' thing a SCAM? Well, as an experiment, we (TwistedHumor.com) chose to test it and ran some ads a few months back and got a couple thousand people to subscribe under us. Well, lo-and-behold, we did get a check...two in fact. The company was Alladvantage.com, so they are legit. We haven't been paid by other networks yet, but alladvantage came through for us. Anyway, our check total was over $1,000 for one month, and last month (January we made even more) so give it a shot. Let them pay you per hour while you are online. We don't generally endorse services ourselves, but this one works. You surf the net anyway, so get paid. Here's the link: http://www.alladvantage.com/home.asp?refid=EQK-764 <><><><><> Program File of the Day - March 1 : TIE-TANIC File type: ASF Rated: PG Size: 3.7 MB "SCI-FI version of Titanic" http://www.twistedhumor.com/pp/2000/mar/01.shtml <><><><><> FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO YOUR FRIENDS! _________________________________________________ If you would like to advertise in TwistedHumor.com and reach over 224,772 subscribed readers, please visit our advertising section at http://twistedhumor.com/advertising.shtml Archives of all of our past jokes, daily images, and other humorous files can be found at our website: http://twistedhumor.com To subscribe, send a blank email to: jokes-subscribe@jokes.twistedhumor.com To unsubscribe, send a blank email to: jokes-unsubscribe-SunShin714=aol.com@jokes.twistedhumor.com Or you can subscribe or unsubscribe from this mailing list at: http://twistedhumor.com Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co- workers or visit our site and enter their email and have them laugh first thing tomorrow when they receive their first TwistedHumor.com email. 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