Hilda, In other groups that I've participated in (although not genealogy ones--this is my first for that) it's okay to "lurk" for a while. I was not comfortable jumping in right away. I'm sure each group is unique and different and I wanted to get a sense of the group first (how the group posted, etc..). With some groups, there are certain expectations and unwritten ground rules. I like the idea of the list owner sending a welcoming message to the interested party asking their connection and explaining the nature of the group. This would indeed make participation easier for newcomers. If you don't want people "lurking" (eventhough they just may be observing and learning), you should make that clear in the beginning--that you expect full participation. I myself think it's okay to "lay-low" and drink it all in. And I also fully agree with you and Bev--I greatly appreciate the nature of this group as far as respectfulness and kindness (in stark contrast to the rude and mean behavior you have encountered in other groups). I appreciate all your efforts as well as those of Rootsweb to filter all unwanted spam. Just yesterday a porn spam message came through on my email(a first for me with Erols). So, I would be in favor of having the same set-up as the other surname group you are in. Thanks for all your hard work. --Cindy