For those who may not have saved your email address. . . you may want to post it again. From: B.Pierce It is interesting to view things from another's eyes, and in retrospect over the past few months I have found that I have attempted to do that on more than a few occasions and have come to the conclusion that I was not looking through two that were 20 20 at all times. However I have been told that hind sight is 20/20. In order to make decisions in my own life I have a few questions that I would like folks to respond to me privately, and honestly. If you do not want to, that is of course your choice however without communication we are at a stalemate in this project or in anything else. NOte that I am referring to true communication, not a way to tell me off or whatever, but if that is how you feel then by all means feel free to do that as well. (I may only ever offer this one time, so here's your chance). I can't say that it will not affect my decisions on what role I choose to go forward with in my life, but it will not be used in a retaliatory way against you. (I only ask one thing, please don't use inappropriate language). I also ask that you follow the 1) 2) 3) so that I can review and see what areas are the same from multiple parties. This is not something that I am going to forward to others, this will be treated with confidence and respectful of your opinions and answers. Again, please answer these honestly and really think about it, the answers may surprise you, they certainly did me. 1) Are you having fun here? 2) Do you miss the days that we all had fun? 3) Do you like the fussing and ugliness that makes this not fun? 4) Do you want it to change? 5) Are you willing to work towards that change, not only you, but to help others initiate that change? 6) What is the result of what you are doing at the end of the day? Do you feel good about it? What would make it feel better? 7) How many of you want the guidelines? 8) How many would like a more structured environment? Please explain. 9) How many of you want a less structured environment? Please explain. 10) What do you see as your goals in this project for today, tomorrow and the rest of the year and going forward? 11) What is the best thing about this project? 12) What is the worst thing about this project? 13) Would you feel comfortable with your grandparents being on this list (assuming they are still alive), will you feel comfortable with your children, grandchildren, ggrandchildren, etc. reading the archives from this list and your comments? Bear in mind that some of these will never have the opportunity to know you, is this the legacy of history you want to leave behind recorded for future generations to add to their genealogy family history? 13) Are you up to the challenge of building something that is great? 14) Do you want to continue to cross swords with each other? 15) How can all of the "me and you" become US, and not just (ME) Brenda Pierce, me with a title Brenda Pierce, me Tim Stowell, me Richard, me Virginia, me Gloria, etc., me ... you..., real people, real goals and aspirations, US with a good time to be had by all and a heck of lot of data for people to find on our sites? 16) What guideline do you absolutely positively think is BAD? Which guideline do you think is positively good? If you hated all of the above you should probably stop reading here. With sacrifices, an open line of communication, an honest to goodness tried and true blue effort from all parties minus the personality issues, can there be a project here to exceed all? If you are sitting there at this point saying there goes that witch again with a power play and trying to make up to us, then the answer is ... probably not. If you find yourself remembering how much fun we used to have, the sharing that we all did, the concern that we had over each other and not just over one or two, the "family" that we had and missing that, then we have something to build on. I have to tell you that anything worth anything is worth saving, but it takes a heartfelt effort from each and every person, if one of us can not do that then the effort is much more difficult, and the success rate is not so good. I guess my whole thought pattern here is that we either can build something starting today with the bricks and mortar that we have, design the house we want to live in, landscape the yard and continue to make additions as our family grows, or we can live in a shabby house or just board it up and declare it a hazard zone. This is not something that only one or two of us can do, it requires that every person want to, be willing to do what is necessary to provide input, and more importantly the EFFORT togo along with the input, and team work. We can not be a we versus them venture. I have through another person's thoughts and views come to a better understanding of somethings, one is that the way I write makes some people think that I am talking down to them, that I am either impersonal or all Miss Management. Unfortunately one of the faults with email is that you can not "know" the real person's feelings unless you know them on a personal level. I have not been the most patient with complaints, nor have I listened when people repeatedly said the same things over and over, instead I have in alot of cases taken it personally that it was just to harrass me because I thought I had actually answered things in a way that were clear. Reading back through some items I saw that when an explanation was forthcoming for something, it still continued as a thread, and when it continued and the same questions were raised I grew weary and after a period of time looked over the message and said to myself, why did people not get what I said? The fact is that there ! are several answers to that one, someone is really not understanding, or one of them is that if we don't get the answer we want we sometimes continue to ask to see if someone will finally get fed up and just give us what we want (me asking Chuck for a screened in porch and him buying me a screened in tent which had much more usefulness according to him). Obviously if I had wanted a tent I would have asked for one, or would I have? The fact is I really like the tent, for all intents and purposes is an absolute treasure, I can use it at the townie shows to sit in the shade while others bake in the sun, it is great for the beach, it is great for camping, it can be put up and taken down with ease, I can put it in my car, or under the bed, and better yet it did not increase my property taxes 150%. What I am trying to point out here is that sometimes another person does have a better idea of what would be more appropriate, we may not want to hear that, or to understand it, or ! to even take it under advisement, but if we TRY it, it's very much like that tent. I did not have to keep it and sit in it. That's pretty much the same here, we can try things, if we absolutely hate them, we can always work to make them better, ultimately I found that with the tent I needed a few accessories, the small television with the vcr, a new swinging bench, well, you get the picture. The addons were the bonus, such as in this project. The more items we build on the better it could be but we need the tent first. If you take the time to answer this, that at least is one step in a direction. I am a firm believer that inasmuch as destiny rules that we as individuals control some of those destinies and that we absolutely can affect the outcomes of our lives and or ultimate destiny. I plan to utilize your answers to help in the decision of one of mine. I would also ask the RC's if they are interested in your answers to tell you so as well. In addition, I am sorry for the loss of Jimmy from the project, I hope that he will enjoy a few days of leisure and get back to his genealogy work with the rest of us. I look forward to your response(s). With Kind Regards to All, Brenda Pierce ==== GAGEN Mailing List ==== Did your county's courthouse ever meet with a disaster?? Check out GAGenWeb's List and Research Tips at: http://www.rootsweb.com/~gagenweb/cchelp/courthouses.htm