I agree - and it does seem to me that much ado has been made about nothing. What is the real issue here? Why the heated "etiquette" post? The simple fact was that no harm was done - there was an "oops" - we all make "oops" - nobody was rude - until the etiquette post was sent, which was very judgmental and had no reason to hit the list at all, IMHO - certainly not because of Bob's "oops" and someone asking about it! What is the real issue here, people? Whatever it is, I suspect it has nothing at all to do with Bob - if I were in his shoes, I would appreciate y'all addressing your "issues" without putting my "oops" in the middle of it - that is the ultimate rudeness, IMHO - Carol At 01:16 PM 3/4/2003, Linda Barton wrote: >Dear List, > >I do not believe all of this is necessary, we have either been raised with >manners or we haven't. I don't >need "Miss Manners" to point out rude to me. > >The fact is that the Treutlin County Website says that Bob Fender is the RC >for East Central Region. >Donna welcomed him, stated she must have missed it on the mailing list and >asked if he was the same >as or kin to Robert Fender who has Floyd and Whitfield counties. > >If we can't believe what we read on the pages of GAGENWEB, exactly where are >we to get our information >from? We are, after all, charged with compiling information for researchers >of genealogy,which while not >an exact science should be as ACCURATE as possible or we are doing a >disservice to those researchers. >I don't believe this accuracy should end with the actual genealogical data >and records but should carry >through the whole project as that is the "introduction" to the data and >records. > >I believe Tim could have responded to Donna's welcome message with "the >facts" instead of "Surely you don't >believe everything you read?". After all, we have been informed that the >East Central Region no longer has >a Regional Coordinator since Laura Schmidt resigned on 16 Feb 2003, >but this page http://www.rootsweb.com/~gagenweb/regional.html, which is our >information page for Regions >in Georgia states that she is still the Regional Coordinator instead of >saying there isn't one at the moment >or that the position is open for volunteers. > >So, why was it such a big jump to believe that what was posted on the >Treutlen County site was true and that >she had just missed the notice to the list? > >Linda Barton > > > >-----Original Message----- >From: B.Pierce [mailto:ltlbit@mindspring.com] >Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2003 12:52 PM >To: GAGEN-L@rootsweb.com >Subject: [GAGEN] List Decorum > > >Judith Martin (better known as Miss Manners) in an interview with Virginia >Shea back in 1995 had some very interesting comments. > > MAIN POINTS: >1) The etiquette rule is that you do not respond to rudeness with more >rudeness; it doesn't solve the problem. So you treat him with the proper >reaction to rudeness, which is not to [act as if] everything is fine. You >get rather stiffly polite, and you steer somewhat clear of that person until >he realizes he's done something awfully wrong. > >2) There are plenty of people who say, ``We don't care about etiquette, but >we can't stand the way so-and-so behaves, and we don't want him around!'' >Etiquette doesn't have the great sanctions that the law has. BUT THE MAIN >SANCTION WE DO HAVE is in not dealing with these people and isolating them >because their behavior is unbearable. > > > ... more Miss Manners in full .... > >Miss Manners has commented extensively on how to behave correctly in almost >every situation in American life. So why not in cyberspace? ....... Here's >what she had to say: > > >Because E-mail can go essentially from the writer's brain to the recipient's >screen, people often press the ``send'' button on messages they probably >wouldn't put in the mail. So here's the situation: A colleague sends me >E-mail saying that he doesn't like some work I've done, and he says some >rather nasty things. Of course, my immediate response is to want to flame >right back at him. Is that a good response? > >Miss Manners: The etiquette rule is that you do not respond to rudeness with >more rudeness; it doesn't solve the problem. So you treat him with the >proper reaction to rudeness, which is not to [act as if] everything is fine. >You get rather stiffly polite, and you steer somewhat clear of that person >until he realizes he's done something awfully wrong. > >Miss Manners: The response is the same as it is in society: You can deny all >you want that there is etiquette, and a lot of people do in everyday life. >But if you behave in a way that offends the people you're trying to deal >with, they will stop dealing with you. And that can happen as easily in >cyberspace as it happens every day in real life. > >There are plenty of people who say, ``We don't care about etiquette, but we >can't stand the way so-and-so behaves, and we don't want him around!'' >Etiquette doesn't have the great sanctions that the law has. But the main >sanction we do have is in not dealing with these people and isolating them >because their behavior is unbearable. > >[In cyberspace], people can easily avail themselves of the cloak of total >anonymity, which of course creates a lot of etiquette problems. Because if >you're rude under a code name and I can't see you, I don't know where you >live, and I don't even know your real name, [then] you probably don't feel >the sense of shame you would feel if you were rude to the same group of >people but were in a room with them. > >http://www.computerworld.com/reprintthis/1995/0,4836,17542,00.html > >I requested a copy sent to this list. >Credits: Computerworld >Virginia Shea and Judith Martin (AKA Miss Manners) > > >Other words to associate with the word Etiquette: >appropriateness, ceremoniousness, civility, conventionality, correctness, >courtesy, decorum, dignity, etiquette, fitness, fittingness, formality, good >manners, honesty, modesty, propriety, respectability, righteousness, >seemliness, virtue, custom, digest, discipline, ethics .... > > >In real simple terms - embarrassing another cc in this project on this list >is not appropriate. In lieu of Jimmy providing a verbal warning to those >indulging in this activity, it would probably be more appropriate if a >public apology on the list were made to Mr. Fender. > > >Brenda Pierce > > > ><BOLD> Brenda </Bold> > > >==== GAGEN Mailing List ==== >Have you added something signifigant to your website? Advertise it on this >list! > > > > >==== GAGEN Mailing List ==== >Do you have a suggestion to include in our taglines? If so, please write >GAGENWEB-L@rootsweb.com Carol C-H <cch@netdoor.com> http://www2.netdoor.com/~cch/

Mr. Fender, I apologize for reading what it said on your page, but not reading all of it. Obviously, you didn't either. I am sure Tim will apologize for telling me I shouldn't believe all you have to say. Donna Parrish In a message dated 3/4/03 12:53:31 PM Eastern Standard Time, ltlbit@mindspring.com writes: > In real simple terms - embarrassing another cc in this project on this list > is not appropriate. In lieu of Jimmy providing a verbal warning to those > indulging in this activity, it would probably be more appropriate if a public > apology on the list were made to Mr. Fender.

Judith Martin (better known as Miss Manners) in an interview with Virginia Shea back in 1995 had some very interesting comments. MAIN POINTS: 1) The etiquette rule is that you do not respond to rudeness with more rudeness; it doesn't solve the problem. So you treat him with the proper reaction to rudeness, which is not to [act as if] everything is fine. You get rather stiffly polite, and you steer somewhat clear of that person until he realizes he's done something awfully wrong. 2) There are plenty of people who say, ``We don't care about etiquette, but we can't stand the way so-and-so behaves, and we don't want him around!'' Etiquette doesn't have the great sanctions that the law has. BUT THE MAIN SANCTION WE DO HAVE is in not dealing with these people and isolating them because their behavior is unbearable. ... more Miss Manners in full .... Miss Manners has commented extensively on how to behave correctly in almost every situation in American life. So why not in cyberspace? ....... Here's what she had to say: Because E-mail can go essentially from the writer's brain to the recipient's screen, people often press the ``send'' button on messages they probably wouldn't put in the mail. So here's the situation: A colleague sends me E-mail saying that he doesn't like some work I've done, and he says some rather nasty things. Of course, my immediate response is to want to flame right back at him. Is that a good response? Miss Manners: The etiquette rule is that you do not respond to rudeness with more rudeness; it doesn't solve the problem. So you treat him with the proper reaction to rudeness, which is not to [act as if] everything is fine. You get rather stiffly polite, and you steer somewhat clear of that person until he realizes he's done something awfully wrong. Miss Manners: The response is the same as it is in society: You can deny all you want that there is etiquette, and a lot of people do in everyday life. But if you behave in a way that offends the people you're trying to deal with, they will stop dealing with you. And that can happen as easily in cyberspace as it happens every day in real life. There are plenty of people who say, ``We don't care about etiquette, but we can't stand the way so-and-so behaves, and we don't want him around!'' Etiquette doesn't have the great sanctions that the law has. But the main sanction we do have is in not dealing with these people and isolating them because their behavior is unbearable. [In cyberspace], people can easily avail themselves of the cloak of total anonymity, which of course creates a lot of etiquette problems. Because if you're rude under a code name and I can't see you, I don't know where you live, and I don't even know your real name, [then] you probably don't feel the sense of shame you would feel if you were rude to the same group of people but were in a room with them. http://www.computerworld.com/reprintthis/1995/0,4836,17542,00.html I requested a copy sent to this list. Credits: Computerworld Virginia Shea and Judith Martin (AKA Miss Manners) Other words to associate with the word Etiquette: appropriateness, ceremoniousness, civility, conventionality, correctness, courtesy, decorum, dignity, etiquette, fitness, fittingness, formality, good manners, honesty, modesty, propriety, respectability, righteousness, seemliness, virtue, custom, digest, discipline, ethics .... In real simple terms - embarrassing another cc in this project on this list is not appropriate. In lieu of Jimmy providing a verbal warning to those indulging in this activity, it would probably be more appropriate if a public apology on the list were made to Mr. Fender. Brenda Pierce <BOLD> Brenda </Bold>

Brenda, Due to installing some new patches to windows I was unable to send a new message to the list so I just replied to the ones that had been on the list before I sent the one to welcome the new CCs. So hope no one thought that I was doing something to offend anyone. Gloria Gloria Holback <gholback_1999@yahoo.com> wrote: Welcome Bob and all new CCs. Gloria Holback, Ben Hill and Irwin Counties --------------------------------- Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! Tax Center - forms, calculators, tips, and more

Thanks for the explanation, Donna. Vivian Price Saffold Meriwether County At 06:46 AM 3/4/03 -0500, you wrote: >In a message dated 3/4/03 4:27:21 AM Eastern Standard Time, >tstowell@chattanooga.net writes: > > > Surely you don't believe everything you read? > > > > The page just having been adopted, is currently under construction. I'm > > sure Bob would appreciate 'helpful' comments on his page. > > > > Tim > >Apparently, I should have read the whole page thru. > >It has been pointed out to me privately that Mr. Fender just took a page from >the internet archives >http://web.archive.org/web/20010520164610/http://www.rootsweb.com/~gatreutl/ >or from Margie's files and just changed a few things, but not everything that >needed to be changed. > >I will remember not to believe everything in the future. > > >Donna Parrish > > >==== GAGEN Mailing List ==== >USGenWeb's motto is - Volunteers dedicated to free, online information. 3570 Hildon Circle Chamblee, GA 30341

In a message dated 3/4/03 4:27:21 AM Eastern Standard Time, tstowell@chattanooga.net writes: > Surely you don't believe everything you read? > > The page just having been adopted, is currently under construction. I'm > sure Bob would appreciate 'helpful' comments on his page. > > Tim Apparently, I should have read the whole page thru. It has been pointed out to me privately that Mr. Fender just took a page from the internet archives http://web.archive.org/web/20010520164610/http://www.rootsweb.com/~gatreutl/ or from Margie's files and just changed a few things, but not everything that needed to be changed. I will remember not to believe everything in the future. Donna Parrish

Welcome Bob and all new CCs. Gloria Holback, Ben Hill and Irwin Counties Tim Stowell <tstowell@chattanooga.net> wrote:At 12:25 AM 3/4/03 EST, you wrote: >Congratulations to Bob Fender on being appointed East Central Georgia R. C. >I saw it on the Treutlen page. I guess I missed it on the list. >http://www.rootsweb.com/~gatreutl/ > >Bob, >Are you related to Robert Fender that has Floyd and Whitfield? > >Donna Parrish >Forsyth CC Surely you don't believe everything you read? The page just having been adopted, is currently under construction. I'm sure Bob would appreciate 'helpful' comments on his page. Tim ==== GAGEN Mailing List ==== Genealogy research usually begins with our great-grandparents to preserve the privacy of 'living persons'. If you encounter a person searching their birth parents, the need to go to the area on the web that deals with just this type of research. Please refer them to: http://www.adoption.org --------------------------------- Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! Tax Center - forms, calculators, tips, and more

Well, I'm confused. I do tend to believe what is written by a GenWeb volunteer and posted on a site for the public to see. The Treutlen site says: >My name is Bob Fender and I am currently managing this site. I am the >Regional Coordinator for East Central Georgia. Treutlen County is up for >adoption. If you have the skills and knowledge to manage this great >genealogy site please contact me. If he's not the East Regional Coordinator, why would he say he is? Just trying to understand, Vivian Price Saffold Meriwether County At 04:32 AM 3/4/03 -0500, you wrote: >At 12:25 AM 3/4/03 EST, you wrote: > >Congratulations to Bob Fender on being appointed East Central Georgia R. C. > >I saw it on the Treutlen page. I guess I missed it on the list. > >http://www.rootsweb.com/~gatreutl/ > > > >Bob, > >Are you related to Robert Fender that has Floyd and Whitfield? > > > >Donna Parrish > >Forsyth CC > >Surely you don't believe everything you read? > >The page just having been adopted, is currently under construction. I'm >sure Bob would appreciate 'helpful' comments on his page. > >Tim > > >==== GAGEN Mailing List ==== >Genealogy research usually begins with our great-grandparents to preserve > the privacy of 'living persons'. If you encounter a person searching >their birth parents, the need to go to the area on the web that deals >with just this type of research. Please refer them to: >http://www.adoption.org 3570 Hildon Circle Chamblee, GA 30341

At 12:25 AM 3/4/03 EST, you wrote: >Congratulations to Bob Fender on being appointed East Central Georgia R. C. >I saw it on the Treutlen page. I guess I missed it on the list. >http://www.rootsweb.com/~gatreutl/ > >Bob, >Are you related to Robert Fender that has Floyd and Whitfield? > >Donna Parrish >Forsyth CC Surely you don't believe everything you read? The page just having been adopted, is currently under construction. I'm sure Bob would appreciate 'helpful' comments on his page. Tim

I have received some emails to my address on the Georgia Selection Table from a new CC asking me to sign up for a boxfrog email account. I wondered why I got more than one from the same CC. I went to the page and it said: "Get PAID $$ for giving away free BoxFrog.com Accounts!" I appreciate that you might like to make money, but I get enough spam already. Thank you. Donna Parrish

Congratulations to Bob Fender on being appointed East Central Georgia R. C. I saw it on the Treutlen page. I guess I missed it on the list. http://www.rootsweb.com/~gatreutl/ Bob, Are you related to Robert Fender that has Floyd and Whitfield? Donna Parrish Forsyth CC

Was I supposed to fill out a form of request for Worth County? I did sign the "interest" form off the main Georgia page. Having been reared in Worth - and with family still there - it would be great to host the county! MK Harrison <A HREF="http://mkharrison.com">mkharrison.com</A> <A HREF="http://www.rootsweb.com/~gabarrow/">Barrow County, GA</A> <A HREF="http://www.ancestry.com/landing/homelandsweeps2/landing2.html?SourceCode=3913&iid=3913%3A+Sweepstakes+1">Ancestry.com</A> I don't know what kind of weapons will be used in the third world war, assuming there will be a third world war. But I can tell you what the fourth world war will be fought with - stone clubs. -Albert Einstein

Personally, When I get a message that states "No Subject", I delete it before reading. Why? Because when I have opened them, there is no material there, indicating a virus. This is especially true when the kb size shown is large. Further, we note in our submissions page that submitters should state "cemetery registration" in their subject line. --- Linda Sigler-Sanders Georgia & Montana Tombstone Project Manager Henry County, GA UsGenWeb Archivist http://www.rootsweb.com/~cemetery/georgia.html http://www.rootsweb.com/~usgenweb/ga/gafiles.htm http://www.rootsweb.com/~cemetery/montana.html http://www.rootsweb.com/~usgenweb/mt/mtfiles.htm _____________________________________________________________ Get 25MB, POP3, Spam Filtering with LYCOS MAIL PLUS for $19.95/year. http://login.mail.lycos.com/brandPage.shtml?pageId=plus&ref=lmtplus

There are several "newcomers" that have been sent the guidelines for GaGenWeb, USGenWeb and the forms to fill out regarding the counties. I have been in touch with some former cc's, some cc's from other states, and some people that had written with an interest previously, when I have received back the necessary forms from all we will advise of the status. Thanks, Brenda Pierce P.S. A very big "welcome" to all of the new cc's that have joined us, and to the current cc's that have taken over a new county as well. <BOLD> Brenda </Bold>

Please send emails to: tutcher@camdencounty.org If you wish to help with this endeavor. For those of you involved in Historical Societies, please consider lending a hand with this cause. Thanks, Brenda Pierce Hello to all. I was contacted by a Pacetti/Pacetty family member that the old Pacetty House in Camden County is in danger of being demolished. The home was built in 1898. Another family member told me that the current owner wishes to use the land for a travel-trailer lot and has expressed a wish to tear down the house. I spoke with the County Tax Assessors office and confirmed that, as far as they are concerned, it does sit within the St. Marys City limits. I will be attending the next St. Marys City Council meeting, along with some Pacetty family members, to voice my opinion that all efforts should be made to *save* this house. While it is not currently in the "Historic" section of St. Marys, it can certainly be moved if need be - it has already been moved once in the 1950s! It could be renovated. We need to at least consider the possibilities. This house, and the family that built it and raised a generation in it, has been witness to much of the local history. The Pacetty family has connections with nearly every "major" and "minor" local family. I urge you to voice your concern over the possible destruction of this home. If you are not able to attend this meeting, please send your e-mails to me, along with your full name, and I will carry them with me to the upcoming meeting. You can also call the City directly, but as there may be no record of your call being made, make sure you put it in writing. There isn't much time before the meeting! Monday March 10th at 7pm St. Marys City Hall (downtown) Council Chambers 418 Osborne St. St. Marys, GA 31558 912-882-2128 (Office of the City Manager Bill Lewis) To learn more about the home: <a target=_blank href="http://www.camdencounty.org/history/pacetti_home.html">http://www.camdencounty.org/history/pacetti_home.html</a> To learn more about the Pacetty family: <a target=_blank href="http://www.camdencounty.org/ebooks/">http://www.camdencounty.org/ebooks/</a> (Brown Family, Floyd Family, Marguerite (RITA) Jule Pacetty Brown: Highlights of Her Life) Gedcom/Genealogy database: <a target=_blank href="http://www.camdencounty.org/pacetti.html">http://www.camdencounty.org/pacetti.html</a> Take care, Tara Fields The Crypt Free Genealogy and History of Camden and Charlton Counties, GA <a target=_blank href="http://www.camdencounty.org">http://www.camdencounty.org</a> Part of the American History & Genealogy Project <a target=_blank href="http://www.ahgp.org/">http://www.ahgp.org/</a> ==== GACHARLT Mailing List ==== Welcome to GACHARLT Mailing List - Please no flames - you are among friends here - if you have a question on whether it or is not appropriate to post something - ask the list admin - Enjoy yourselves on the list and have a "Great Day". ============================== To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy records, go to: <a target=_blank href="http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237">http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237</a> <BOLD> Brenda </Bold>

I thought I would share the below msg that I received today, on two accounts. One because it is so great to know that several years after you send someone something it may be the piece they need and two because sometimes it helps to know that we are helping someone link to their family, and hey is that not what we are here for? Have a great night. Brenda Pierce Brenda: I found in my desk a copy of the last will and testament for James b. 1794. I received this from you back in 1999, and at the time I thought it wasn't for my family. This James was the father of the James hat I was researching. Anyway, in this will it lists the slaves that he owned and bequethed to his wife. Are there records available to possibly research slaves that were held in Butts County? I'm going to also e-mail GW to see if he has any more information. Thanks, Patti <BOLD> Brenda </Bold>

I found out late last night that when one does not include a subject line or uses an extremely short subject line that it confuses the server into thinking it is a subscription message and all such messages bouce to the listowner. > Hi all, > Take a peek: > http://www.rootsweb.com/~garichmo/groupindx.html > > Our GA Family Group Sheet Project has grown to > over 1400 sheets online. > > I have a bunch more to add, but think I'll "hit the hay" > (That's Texan for go to bed <g>) > Bettie <>< ------------------------------------------------------via webmail---- Tim Stowell tstowell@chattanooga.net

> That's good to know. > I've never had that happen on lists I maintain, but guess > there's always a first time. > Bettie <>< > > > I found out late last night that when one does not include a subject line > > or uses an extremely short subject line that it confuses the server into > > thinking it is a subscription message and all such messages bouce to the > > listowner. > > > > > Hi all, > > > Take a peek: > > > http://www.rootsweb.com/~garichmo/groupindx.html > > > > > > Our GA Family Group Sheet Project has grown to > > > over 1400 sheets online. > > > > > > I have a bunch more to add, but think I'll "hit the hay" > > > (That's Texan for go to bed <g>) > > > Bettie <>< > > ------------------------------------------------------via webmail---- > > Tim Stowell > > tstowell@chattanooga.net > > > > ==== GAGEN Mailing List ==== > > Genealogy research usually begins with our great-grandparents to preserve > > the privacy of 'living persons'. If you encounter a person searching > > their birth parents, the need to go to the area on the web that deals > > with just this type of research. Please refer them to: > > http://www.adoption.org > > -- > Keep the candle going > http://207.44.161.160/goose/friendcandle.html > -- > All outgoing mail virus free, scanned by Norton 2002, > http://www.symantec.com/ -- Keep the candle going http://207.44.161.160/goose/friendcandle.html -- All outgoing mail virus free, scanned by Norton 2002, http://www.symantec.com/

> When will you be making a decision about Worth County? I am anxiously > waiting to hear! I'd like to know the status of my Co-ccs for Richmond & Walton County as well. Bettie <><

Hi all, Take a peek: http://www.rootsweb.com/~garichmo/groupindx.html Our GA Family Group Sheet Project has grown to over 1400 sheets online. I have a bunch more to add, but think I'll "hit the hay" (That's Texan for go to bed <g>) Bettie <>< -- Keep the candle going http://207.44.161.160/goose/friendcandle.html -- All outgoing mail virus free, scanned by Norton 2002, http://www.symantec.com/