for your reading pleasure .. sharon A TEXAN'S GUIDE TO LIFE Don't squat with your spurs on. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back in. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him...........The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'. Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep. Always drink upstream from the herd. When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson. When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket. - -------------------------------------------------------------- Newspaper Headlines - Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says - Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers - Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case - Iraqi Head Seeks Arms - Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over - Include Your Children when Baking Cookies - Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead - Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told - Miners Refuse to Work after Death - Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant - Stolen Painting Found by Tree - Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter - War Dims Hope for Peace - If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While - Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures - Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide - Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges - Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead - Kids Make Nutritious Snacks - Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors - New Vaccine May Contain Rabies - Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge