I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several > days attack me at once. > --Jennifer Unlimited > > If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have > to serve as a horrible warning. > --Catherine Aird > > The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. > --Helen Hayes (at 73) > > I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of > them as stray eyebrows. > --Janette Barber > > Who ever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every > time I hear it, I think - I'm supposed to put my > breast in an envelope and send it to someone. > -Jan King > > A few weeks after my [breast cancer] surgery, I went > out to play catch with my golden retriever. When I bent > over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The > dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down > the road yelling "Hey, come back here with my breast!" > -Linda Ellerbee > > Things are going to get a lot worse before they get > worse. > --Lily Tomlin > > A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never > owned a car. > --Carrie Snow > > Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry > with your girlfriends. > --Laurie Kuslansky > > My second favorite household chore is ironing. My > first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until > I faint. --Erma Bombeck > > Old age ain't no place for sissies. > -Bette Davis > > A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman > must do what he can't. > --Rhonda Hansome > > The phrase "working mother" is redundant. > --Jane Sellman > > Every time I close the door on reality it comes in > through the windows. > --Jennifer Unlimited > > Whatever women must do they must do twice as well > as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is > not difficult. > --Charlotte Whitton > > Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together > and your body starts falling apart. > --Caryn Leschen > > When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded > kids for two years before they realized I actually had > a hearing loss... and they called ME slow! > -Kathy Buckley > > Behind every successful woman...is a substantial > amount of coffee. > --Stephanie Piro > > Behind every successful woman...... is a basket > of dirty laundry. > --Sally Forth > > Top Ten Things Only Women Understand > 10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes. > 9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white. > 8. Crying can be fun. > 7. FAT CLOTHES. > 6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae > make a balanced lunch. > 5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack > can be considered a peak life experience. > 4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. > 3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good > hairdresser is next to impossible. > 2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts > under ten minutes. > AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND: > 1. OTHER WOMEN! (Send this on to all the women you > are grateful to have as friends) >