Obituary Notice! > > Today we mourn the passing of an old friend by > the name of Common Sense.  Common Sense lived a long > life but died from heart failure at the brink of the > millennium.  No one really knows how old he was since > his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic > red tape. > >    He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, > hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping folks > get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. > >    For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous > lawsuits held no power over Common Sense.  He was > credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to > know when to come in out of the rain, the early bird > gets the worm, and life isn't always fair. > >    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial > policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable > parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the > kids), and it's okay to come in second. > >    A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great > Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common > Sense survived cultural and educational trends including > feminism, body piercing, whole language and "new math." > >    But his health declined when he became infected with > the "if-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus. > In recent decades his waning strength proved no match > for the ravages of overbearing federal regulation. > >    He watched in pain as good people became ruled by > self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors.  His > health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly > implemented zero tolerance policies, reports of six year > old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing a > classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouth- > wash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding > an unruly student.  It declined even further when schools > had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a > student but cannot inform the parent when the female > student is pregnant or wants an abortion. > >    Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the > Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became > businesses, criminals received better treatment than > victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in every- > thing from Boy Scouts to professional sports. > >    As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of > logic but was kept informed of developments, regarding > questionable regulations for asbestos, low flow toilets, > "smart" guns, the nurturing of Prohibition Laws and > mandatory air bags. > >    Finally when told that the homeowners association > restricted exterior furniture only to that which en- > hanced property values, he breathed his last. > >    Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents > Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, > Responsibility; and his son, Reason.  He is survived > by three stepbrothers: Rights, Tolerance, and Whiner. > >    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized > he was gone. Eat Right- Stay fit-die anyway!

Thanks Sharon. Sad and True. kath > > > Obituary Notice! > > > > Today we mourn the passing of an old friend by > > the name of Common Sense. Common Sense lived a long > > life but died from heart failure at the brink of the > > millennium. <<

Seeing the post about Farewell to Commom Sense reminded me of one that went around about a year ago. Time for a re-run !! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It is my sad duty to report that the Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a slightly greased coffin. The funeral was held at 3:50 for twenty minutes. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies, Captain Crunch, Baby Ruth and many others. The grave sight was piled high with flour arrangements. A long time friend, Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy has a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded". Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. They have two children and one in the oven.