> Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead? > >A: The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up. > >Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead? > >A: The sex is the same, but you get the remote. > >Q: What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down? > >A: Marriage > >Q: How many men does it take to change a light bulb? > >A: None, they just sit there in the dark and complain. > >Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart? > >A: Through his chest with a sharp knife. > >Q: What have men and floor tiles got in common? > >A: If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over > >them for life. > >Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, > >caring and good-looking? > >A: Because those men already have boyfriends. > >Q: Why are men like public toilets? > >A: Because all the good ones are engaged and the only ones left are > >full of crap. > >Q: What is a man's view of safe sex? > >A: A padded headboard. > >Q: How do men sort their laundry? > >A: "Filthy" and "Filthy but wearable" > >Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? > >A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. > >Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? > >A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention > >of > >driving. > >Q: What do you call a smart blonde? > >A: A golden retriever. > >Q: Why do men want to marry virgins? > >A: They can't stand criticism. > >Q: Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? > >A: The guy who can have a cup of coffee in each hand and still carry > >a dozen donuts. > >Q: Who is the most popular woman at the nudist colony? > >A: The woman who ate the last donut. > >Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman? > >A: A battery has a positive side. > >Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in third grade. Who > >has the biggest breasts? > >A: The blonde, because she's 18. > >Q: Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra? > >A: When you take it off you wonder where the breasts went. > >Q: Do you know the punishment for bigamy? > >A: Two mothers-in-law. > >Q: Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? > >A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody > >Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? > >A: 45 lbs. > >Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? > >A: 45 min. > >Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? > >A: Sexual Harassment > >Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? > >A: $3.99 a minute. > > »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§« Proud to be an AMERICAN <A HREF="http://www.doubtlessdesigns.net/">God Bless America</A> <click> Richiele 'Marie  <*}}}}>< »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«