> > SO YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SMART ENOUGH TO COMPREHEND ENGLISH > > > > > > Peruse at your leisure, English lovers. Reasons why the English > > language is > > so hard to learn: > > > > 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. > > 2) The farm was used to produce produce. > > 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. > > 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. > > 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. > > 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. > > 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to > > present > > the present. > > 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. > > 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. > > 10) I did not object to the object. > > 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. > > 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. > > 13) They were too close to the door to close it. > > 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. > > 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. > > 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. > > 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. > > 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number. > > 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. > > 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. > > 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? > > > > Let's face it - English is a crazy language. > > There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor > > pine in > > pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French > > fries in > > France. > > > > Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are > > meat. We > > take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find > > that > > quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig > > is > > neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write > > but > > fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? > > > > If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? > > One > > goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't > > it seems > > crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch > > of odds > > and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? > > > > If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian > > eats > > vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? > > > > Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an > > asylum > > for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play > > and play > > at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that > > run and > > feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, > > while a > > wise man and a wise guy are opposites? > > > > You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your > > house can > > burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it > > out and > > in which, an alarm goes off by going on. > > > > English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the > > creativity > > of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is > > why, when > > the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, > > they are > > invisible.