Women's Embarrassing Moments > >Curl Up and Die > >I walked into a hair salon with my husband >and three kids in tow and asked loudly, How much do >you charge for a shampoo and a blow job? > >Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin, TX > > >Pad, please! > >An insurance man visited me at home to talk about >our mortgage insurance. He was throwing a lot of >facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as >best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run >and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a >Kotex right in front of our guest. > >Kathy Newman, 46,Winston-Salem, NC > > >Ho, Ho, Ho > >I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came >into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet >paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, >so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They >came out so well that I had copies made and >included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days >later, a relative called about the picture,laughing >hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. >Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked >to discover that in addition to my son, I had >captured my reflection in the mirror - wearing >nothing but a camera! > >Name Withheld > >Lady Golfer > >I was at the golf store comparing different kinds >of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type >I had been using. After browsing for several >minutes, I was approached by one of the >good-looking gentlemen who works at the >store. He asked if he could help me. >Without thinking, I looked at him >and said,"I think I like playing with men's balls." > >Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI > >Nuts about You > >My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a >store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were >looking at the display case, the boy behind the >counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, >"No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister >started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, >and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this >day, my sister has never let me forget. > >Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD > > >The following are the top four winners of a Most >Embarrassing Moments Contest in the New Woman >Magazine: > >Na-na na-na na-nah! > >While in line at the bank one afternoon, my >toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and >ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her >after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance >from other patrons. I told her that if she did not >start behaving right now she would be punished. >To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said >in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let >me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw >you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night! The >silence was deafening after this enlightening >exchange. > >Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I >mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out >of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last >thing I heard when the door closed behind me >were screams of laughter. > >Amy Richardson; Stafford, Virginia > > >Priceless > >One of the funniest most-embarrassing-moment >stories I've come upon in a long time was >about a lady who picked up several items at a >discount store. When she finally got up to the >checker, she learned that one of her items >had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when >the checker got on the intercom and boomed out >for all the store to hear,"PRICE CHECK ON LANE >THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad >enough, but somebody at the rear of the store >apparently misunderstood the word Tampax for >THUMBTACKS. In a business-like tone, a voice >boomed back over the intercom. DO YOU WANT THE >KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR >THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?? > >Mom's Advice >A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back >of the class was squirming around, scratching >his crotch and not paying attention. > >She went back to find out what was going on. He >was quite embarrassed and whispered that he >had just recently been circumcised and he was >quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to >the principal's office. He was to phone his >mother and ask her what he should do about it. He >did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there >was a commotion at the back of the room. > >She went back to investigate only to find him >sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. >"I thought I told you to call your mom?" she >screamed. "I did," he said, "And she told me that >if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and >pick me up. > > »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§« Proud to be an AMERICAN <A HREF="http://www.doubtlessdesigns.net/">God Bless America</A> <click> Richiele 'Marie  <*}}}}>< »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«