To My Child By Heather James I can feel you eagerly kick and move side to side. I cannot see you or even know your thoughts. When I go to sleep, walk around or when I wake you are there. You must wonder why this capsule you are in has so much turbulence. It must sound like a rainstorm to you when the beads of water from the shower are pounding on my belly. I do know that you are aware of my emotions. When I am calm, you too seem calm. When I am crying or am terribly fatigued from stress, your kicks and ungraceful movements seem stronger than ever. It is as if you're saying, "Come on, Mom, hang in there, because if you don't, I can't." To be very honest, I did not know that you were going to happen; you surprised me. However, you are a very loved and accepted person by me, and many other people. I guess you are used to my voice by now. They tell me that you can hear things in your little gestation capsule. Can you? You haven't heard your father's voice. Do you wonder why? Just know that he also loves you. When I awoke this morning I lay there with my tummy bare and watched you push my stomach up with your feet. I wish I could have shared this unforgettable experience with someone. God was smiling down at you; remember he creates no accidents. My desire to have conceived you in the right marriage situation is very strong, yet that makes you no less of a person, nor does it take from the incredible love and bond I have with you. I apologize if some of the foods I eat for both of us aren't what you like. If I knew what your favorite food was, I swear that I would eat it. Oh yes, and my music: I know you must hear it. I love music as I'm sure you already are aware. Are you a Bing Crosby fan or are you a rhythm-and-blues baby? I know that after you are born and I hold you and nurse you, I will be even more in love. When I see that you resemble myself, my parents or even your father, that bond will be intensified. That is why when I hand you to your new parents, it will without a doubt be the most difficult and painful thing I'll ever have to do. I know that in my head and in God's eyes it is the right thing to do for you. If I kept you for my own it would be selfish. Everything I do, I am doing because I love you with all my heart. I will always be your birth mother and you will always be my biological child, although I may never see you again. And if I did, I would never reject you. I love you. O * O *O * O O * * O <º)(((((~((((((>>>< * <º)((((~((((>< missi