----- Original Message ----- From: "Spring" SIGNS YOU'RE A LOUSY COOK - You're family automatically heads for the table every time they hear a fire siren. - Your kids know what "peas porridge in a pot nine days old" tastes like. - Your son goes outside to make mud pies, the rest of the family grabs forks and follows him. - Your kids' favorite drink is Alka-Seltzer. - You have to buy 25 pounds of dog food twice a week for your toy poodle. - Your kids got even with the neighborhood bully by inviting him over for dinner. - Your kids got suspended from school for trying to smuggle toxic waste in their lunch bags. - Your husband refers to the smoke detector as the over timer. - No matter what you do to it, the gravy still turns bright purple. - You burned the house down trying to make jelly.