THE RULES OF BUREAUCRACY 1. Preserve thyself. 2. It is easier to fix the blame than to fix the problem. 3. A penny saved is an oversight. 4. Information deteriorates upward. 5. The first 90% of the task takes 90% of the time; the last 10% takes the other 90%. 6. Experience is what you get just after you need it. 7. For any given large, complex, hard-to-understand, expensive problem, there exists at least one short, simple, easy, cheap, wrong answer. 8. Anything that can be changed will be, until time runs out. 9. To err is human; to shrug is civil service. 10. There's never enough time to do it right, but there's always enough time to do it over. If you dont stand for something, you'll fall for anything....... _______________________________________________________ Send a cool gift with your E-Card http://www.bluemountain.com/giftcenter/

Hi, This is real cute, took me awhile to figure it out. But then the fun began. <g> Love ya, Elsie At 10:56 PM 5/23/01 -0400, you wrote: >This is nuts! Enjoy!! > > >http://www.nobodyhere.com/justme/nose.html

Shoot! I forgot to tell hou how to get in touch with Ol' Dave. Try this: fsadman@aol.com . I'm sure he would like to hear from you. Bill Covey Author of Watson Is Where It Wuz http://billcovey.50megs.com

Hi Folks: I'm not selling anything so don't throw rocks at me the next time you see me. I am, however, passing along some information tht could be useful to people that are planning reunions of any type. Ol' Dave Ross is a collector of information and, in retirement, has busied himself with the collection and layout of information pertaining to specific years and applicable to high school reunions. If you are involved in, or know someone that is involved in, the planning of reunions of any type just contact Ol' Dave. Tht rascal is providing a service that I think is a good one. I don't know what the charge for his services is but I am quite certain that it is worth every penny of it to have the latest poop from group to pass out to all of those attending. If you are not interested in this sort of stuff just delete this and don't throw rocks at me. If you are, contact Ol' Dave and don't throw rocks at me. If you haven't made up your mind, contact Ol' Dave and throw rocks at him. I don't normally endorse this sort of thing but this is a good'un. Bill Covey Author of Watson Is Where It Wuz http://billcovey.50megs.com

> Kath I seem to be getting all of my messages - > Asa D.........LOLASAS > Hi Asa, Maybe rootsweb had a brain fart. <G> anyhoo.....glad you are getting your mail :-) Kath........LOLASAS ----- Original Message ----- From: "Mail Delivery Subsystem" <MAILER-DAEMON@lists2.rootsweb.com> To: <FOLKLORE-D-request@rootsweb.com> Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2001 5:35 AM Subject: Returned mail: see transcript for details > This is a MIME-encapsulated message > > --f4NCXFN10118.990621336/lists2.rootsweb.com > > The original message was received at Wed, 23 May 2001 05:33:15 -0700 > from slist@localhost > > ----- The following addresses had permanent fatal errors ----- > sasd@acronet.net > (reason: 550 <sasd@acronet.net>... User unknown)

If a fire fighter fights fires, what does a freedom fighter fight? How come your nose runs and your feet smell? How come you chop a tree down and then chop it up? What is the speed of dark? How come a woman can man a workstation but a man can't woman one? Why do they call it rebooting the computer when kicking is not involved? Why do they call them a backyard when most are more than 3 feet long? Why does life insurance only pay off if you die? Why do they call them buildings when they are already built? Why do you pay tolls on a freeway? If men get hernias, do women get hisnias? Why do kamikaze pilots where helmets? Who puts the "Thin Ice" sign out there?If you're a kleptomaniac, is there something you can take for it? Why don't dry beers make you thirsty after drinking them?\ Why don't most people work on Labor Day? Why does a rabbit bring easter eggs and not a chicken? Why is it called tourist season if you can't hunt them? Why is a rabbit's foot considered good luck when it doesn't bring much luckto the rabbit? Why do they call them hamburgers when they are made of beef?

Why is it when you buy a parakeet at the pet store you only get one? When they ship styrofoam...what do they pack it in? Why do they call them jumbo shrimps? Why is chili so hot? If fish spend their entire lives in schools why are they so stupid? Why do they have an expiration date on sour cream? Why do they call it "tennis"? Shouldn't it be "twonis" or sometimes"fournis"? Why do they call a single T.V. a set? Why do irons have a permanent press setting Why does my AM radio work in the afternoon? If vegetarians eat only vegetables what do humanitarians eat? Why does the word blind have an 'i' in it? Why do free agent baseball players cost so much? Do you have to live in a small country to enjoy cross country skiing? How young can you be and still die of old age? If you break a mirror and get get seven years bad luck, could a good lawyerget you off in five? Why do wiseguy and wiseman have opposite meanings? Why isn't room temperature just whatever the temperature of the room is? How much deeper would the ocean be if there weren't sponges living in it? Why isn't the fattest man in the world a hockey goalie? If God dropped acid would he see people? Why are highways built so close to the ground?] If olive oil is made from olives what is baby oil made from?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height which would hit the ground first? If you're driving at the speed of light what would happen if you turned on the headlights? Why does anyone bother phoning a psychic hotline... If they are reallypsychic shouldn't they be calling you? Why are there Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-thru ATM? Why do we drive on "parkways" and park on "driveways"? Why is it that when you transport something by a car it's called a shipmentand when you transport something by a ship, it's called cargo? Why is an orange orange but a banana is yellow? Why don't they make the whole plane out of the same substance as the indestructable black box have in them? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address you turn downthe volume on the radio? Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all close together? Why do people keep saying it's such a small world... I wouldn't want to paint it.

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? Do witches run spell checkers? Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor if you can't drink and drive? Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices under airplane seats and not a parachute? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning? If 7-11's are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks onthe doors? If a cow laughs really hard does milk come out of its nose? What makes Teflon stick to the pan?

Today is Friday, May 25th, the 145th day of 2001. There are 220 days left in the year. Good Morning. Could use a couple of prayers today - have doctor's appt.@ 9:40. Today's Highlight in History: On May 25th, 1961, President Kennedy asked the nation to work toward putting a man on the moon by the end of the decade. On this date: In 1787, the Constitutional Convention was convened in Philadelphia after enough delegates had shown up for a quorum. In 1810, Argentina began its revolt against Spain. In 1895, playwright Oscar Wilde was convicted of a morals charge in London; he was sentenced to prison. In 1935, Babe Ruth hit the 714th and final home run of his career, for the Boston Braves, in a game against the Pittsburgh Pirates. In 1946, Transjordan (now Jordan) became a kingdom as it proclaimed its new monarch, King Abdullah Ibn Ul-Hussein. In 1963, the Organization of African Unity was founded, in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. In 1968, the Gateway Arch, part of the Jefferson National Expansion Memorial in St. Louis, was dedicated. In 1976, US Representative Wayne L. Hays (Democrat, Ohio) admitted to a "personal relationship" with Elizabeth Ray, a committee staff member who claimed she'd received her job in order to be Hays' mistress. In 1979, 275 people died when an American Airlines DC-10 crashed on takeoff from Chicago's O'Hare airport. In 1981, daredevil Daniel Goodwin, wearing a "Spiderman" costume, scaled the outside of Chicago's Sears Tower in seven and a-half hours. Ten years ago: Foreigners fled the Ethiopian capital of Addis Ababa as rebels closed in on the city. Israel completed "Operation Solomon," which had evacuated 15,000 Ethiopian Jews to their promised land. Five years ago: President Clinton, honoring the men and women who died in military service, used his weekly radio address to defend America's global military role, saying it "is making our people safer and the world more secure." One year ago: The government proposed a rating system telling consumers how prone vehicles are to rolling over. Iranian state radio announced that former President Hashemi Rafsanjani had resigned from the incoming parliament, depriving hard-liners of a leading figure in the power struggle between conservatives and reformists. Today's Birthdays: Lyricist Hal David is 80. Actress Jeanne Crain is 76. Former opera singer Beverly Sills is 72. Former White House news secretary Ron Nessen is 67. Country singer-songwriter Tom T. Hall is 65. Actor Ian McKellen is 62. Actress Dixie Carter is 62. Country singer Jessi Colter is 58. Actress-singer Leslie Uggams is 58. Movie director and Muppeteer Frank Oz is 57. Actress Karen Valentine is 54. Rock singer Klaus Meine (The Scorpions) is 53. Actress Patti D'Arbanville is 50. Actress Connie Sellecca is 46. Rock singer-musician Paul Weller is 43. Actor-comedian Mike Myers is 38. Actress Anne Heche is 32. Actor Jamie Kennedy is 31. Actor Justin Henry is 30. Singer Lauryn Hill is 26. Actor Corbin Allred is 22. "A historian is a prophet in reverse." -- Friedrich von Schlegel, German diplomat and writer (1772-1829). (Copyright 2001 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Kath I seem to be getting all of my messages - Asa D.........LOLASAS Cece. <G> :-) > someimtes with very *interesting* results. :-) > kath > >> To show how old I am getting, I sat back to read the origin of Saliva. I >> thought I would go on to read about DNA. Oh, I need some new glasses and >> some refreshed brain power !! Cece >> >> >> >> ----- Original Message ----- >> >> > Description of Salvias, Origin, Cultivation, Uses. >> > By Mary Ann Perry > > > > >==== FOLKLORE Mailing List ==== >For questions about this list, contact the list administrator at > FOLKLORE-admin@rootsweb.com > »§«:*´`³¤³´´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§« >

Never heard of this technique, but it sounds fun for Christmas presents. Even young girls could make their own "1st quilt " Here are some sites to check out !! Cece PS-- If anyone has first hand knowledge or tips, please post or write !! http://quilting.about.com/hobbies/quilting/library/bl_jar%20block.htm http://www.geocities.com/quiltfrenzy/bottlequilt.html http://www.geocities.com/aljobritt/jars.html www.blockcentral.com

LOL~! :-) This has happened to me a time or two Cece. <G> :-) someimtes with very *interesting* results. :-) kath > To show how old I am getting, I sat back to read the origin of Saliva. I > thought I would go on to read about DNA. Oh, I need some new glasses and > some refreshed brain power !! Cece > > > > ----- Original Message ----- > > > Description of Salvias, Origin, Cultivation, Uses. > > By Mary Ann Perry

To show how old I am getting, I sat back to read the origin of Saliva. I thought I would go on to read about DNA. Oh, I need some new glasses and some refreshed brain power !! Cece ----- Original Message ----- > Description of Salvias, Origin, Cultivation, Uses. > By Mary Ann Perry

> *Near to the door* > *he paused to stand* > *as he took his class ring* > *off her hand* > *all who were watching* > *did not speak* > *as a silent tear* > *ran down his cheek* > *and through his mind* > *the memories ran* > *of the moments they walked* > *and ran in the sand (hand and hand)* > *but now her eyes were so terribly cold* > *for he would never again* > *have her to hold* > *they watched in silence* > *as he bent near* > *and whispered the words..*.... > "" in her ear* > *he touched her face and started to cry* > *as he put on his ring and wanted to die* > *and just then the wind began to blow* > *as they lowered her casket* > *into the snow....* > *this is what happens* > *to man alive.....* > *when friends let friends....* > O *    O *O    *   O O *      * O <º)(((((~((((((>>>< * <º)((((~((((>< kissy_fishy

Description of Salvias, Origin, Cultivation, Uses. By Mary Ann Perry The Roman scientist and historian, Pliny the Elder, was the first to use the name salvia. The botanical word salvias translates to 'save' and expresses the innumerable and medicinal uses our ancestors devised for this plant. The common name for salvia is sage, which originated in England and is believed a corruption of the old French sauge. When the word sage was used in medieval and renaissance Europe they were referring to salvia officinalis, which originated in the Mediterranian and is called the common sage. Some common varieties of Salvia officinalis are Purpurascens, Berggarten, Holt's Mammoth, and Tricolor. The Purpurascens was favored during medieval days for the medicinal and culinary rage of the time. The calyces and flowers range in the red violet to purple violet colors. Leaves vary from the Holt's Mammoth with its long, wide, gray-green leaves to the Purpurascens with it smaller, purple-red leaves. This cultivar likes quick draining soil and full sunlight and grows in a compact form, which fits nicely into the kitchen garden border. S. officinalis is hardy and can withstand temperatures of 0 degrees F. Just before blooming is the best time to collect leaves for drying, as the volatile oils are most concentrated. Purpurascens and Tricolor are my favorites for seasoning everything from winter squash to turkey stuffing. Mexican sage (S. mexicana) has grown wild over a wide area in central Mexico as long as natives can remember. Its current habitat also includes arid subtropical regions in the north and tropical areas of the south. It is described as a shrubby perennial. In cultivation, Mexican Sage can grow to a height of 3 -9 feet and 3 - 4 feet in width. In our southern California garden Mexican sage thrives so well that we bind it with twine so it grows up where the hummingbirds get to it easier. It capitalizes the garden with its elevated, brilliant purple fronds from mid summer into late fall. The size and color of the calyces and flowers vary, ranging from purple-blue to midnight purple and even combinations of purple with a touch of white. The flowering fronds are beautiful and work well as summer bouquets accents. It is best grown in climates where temperatures do not fall below 20 degrees F. Propagate Mexican sage by seed or cuttings. Too much watering can make the branches brittle, so it needs some wind protection. All of the cultivars grow well under high tree canopies making them great under-story plants. I only grow this sage for it's beauty and because the hummers insist. It is not the tastiest of sages for culinary purposes. Pineapple Sage (S. elegans) with its brilliant red flowers and dark leaves also originated in Mexico. This sage is prized for its pineapple scent and flavor, and its exquisite and long flowering scarlet flowers. Unfortunately, this lovely prize requires mild winters, good drainage, wind and sun protection, weekly watering, and prefers temperatures no lower than 30 degrees F. The good news is that it can be propagated easily by cuttings or division of rootstock and will produce a large, shrubby plant, growing rapidly and abundantly to 4 - 5 feet in height. The pineapple sage is great for cooking when you want a hint of pineapple flavor but not the pineapple bulk. It also sparks up a cool summer drink with that pineapple flavor without the acid of pineapple juice. The hummingbirds go nuts for this beauty. Clary Sage (S. sclarea) originated in Europe and was known long before the birth of Christ for its essential oils. These oils are used in making perfume and in imparting a muscatel flavor to wines, vermouths, and liqueurs. Origins of the word sclarea means 'clear and bright' and clary is the English corruption of 'clear-eye'. The seed was known to clear the eye of impurities in olden days. Clary is classified as both a biennial and a perennial and is cold tolerant to 0 degrees F. The flowers range from violet, to red-purple to white. An early summer blooming herb, salvia sclarea can grow in a season from seedling to a plant of 3 - 4 feet. The leaves on this sage can be as large as one foot in length. Once the flowers start looking scraggly, trim them back and the plant will bounce back with more. This sage is not really good for culinary or cut flower purposes, but makes a stunning border plant if you can keep the pests from marring the large, very noticeable leaves.

Has This Nation Gone to Pot -- by Linda LaRae Adsett Copyright 1998 -- trout@televar.com Has this nation gone to pot? I may be old, but I've not forgot. In day's gone by, you got old and wise, And it sorta kept you energized. Gram had wrinkles, and rocked in her chair. It was okay for Gramp's to have no hair, Now we're told when we're sixty-five, Run out to the pool and take a dive, Shame on you for acting so old, Go out to work at the arches of Gold Cut the wrinkles around your eyes Get down to the gym and jazzercise, Not this gal, I'll be darned if I will, I've worked hard in life and I've paid my bill. It was good for Gram and it's fine with me, Cause I'm just not into climbing a tree. My energy goes to a smile and a laugh, Hugging Grandkids and taking a bath. Holding Pard's hand as we walk down the road, Feeding the deer as they stand in the cold. I'm quite content with my life full of charm, I'm all done shoveling the muck from the barn. So I'll just sit and enjoy some rhymes, And do a little dreaming in the quiet times.

Bears And Such -- by Linda LaRae Adsitt -- Copyright 1997 -- trout@televar.com 'Tis a tale of a camp trip, gone slightly awry, Pard and I pack miles to sleep under the sky. We found us that perfect and most desolate spot, But sleeping that night was not part of our lot. Pard built us a fire, and we chatted till dark, We talked of savages, As coyotes did bark. Yes Cougars, and grizzly Bears, and even some Snakes, And conjured up Monsters nestled deep in the lake. Our eyes filled with webs, Crawling deep in our bag, Feeling quite comfy, with foam softening a tad, A crunch and some movement kept open my eyes. Sleep slipped away, as a sound did arise Sitting up with a start, peering into the dark, Then quiet descends, no not even a bark. "Lay down will you woman, There 's nothing around". My partner he says "I ain't heard a Damn sound". I snuggled on down, and was almost asleep, Oh, It's coming again, I fear It's a creep. Vertical goes my body, rod straight in my bed, Can't he hear it? I think, is my pard stiff and dead? So it goes though the night, With Pard not amused, "Lay down will ya girl, So I can get me some snooze" My eyes open wide through a long dreary night, So worried was I of what bumps and might bite. Dawn finally arrives and must break up this camp, With my pard an old grump, as he had not his nap. Just under the pad where my head lay all night, Lay a pile of foam, what's this? That ain't right? And out streaked a mouse to find a new home, As I stare with eyes wide, fixing hair with my comb. Crunch and movement close to my ear did it sound, A house for a mouse when my head I laid down. I turned to my pard as he let out a roar, And could see from the grin, he was a big boar, He could not hear it, beneath my ear, I guess, But the glare that he got sho nuff melted his zest.

Tales -- by Steve Topping -- Copyright 1996 -- topwheel@softcom.net Come with Me, All You Young Cow Punchers Young and Old, What Makes the Diff Listen and Laugh, at the Stories of Old As Told by this Old Stiff Grandpa, Did You Really Do the Things You Say? I'm Dying If I'm Lying, with a Great Big Grin Come See, Come Sigh, and Plan to Stay And Hear about Your Kin Can I See with My Eyes Closed, Grandpa As I Listen to These Stories and Tales? If You Can't, Then Just Listen to the Wales As I Tell These Stories and Big Tall Tales Mommys and Daddys, You'll Be Someday So Make Sure You Listen Real Close And Someday, You'll Tell Your Children What They Want to Hear the Most Stories of Old, Will Never Die 'Cause They'll Live in the Minds of the Young And Someday, You May Look up at the Sky And There Will Be a Cloud with Two Sails Standing There, Will Be Your Grandma and I And Me Telling Her My Stories and Big Tall Tales

http://www.ongoing-tales.com/SERIALS/oldtime/RELIGIOUS/index.html Children's Old Time Bible Stories Ongoing Tales presents a collection of children's old-testament bible stories. Enhanced with electronic media and updated monthly by Antelope Publishing E-Publishers of Browser Readable E-Books on CD-ROM Since 1995