A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife liked to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. Although she wasn't familiar with the lake, the wife decided to take the boat. She rowed out a short distance, anchored, and returned to reading her book. Along came the sheriff in his boat, pulled up alongside her and said, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading my book," she replied. Isn't it obvious?" she wondered. "You're in a restricted area. You can't fish here." "But, officer, I'm not fishing. You can see that." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape." "But, I haven't even touched you." "Yes, that's true, but you do have all the equipment, right?" MORAL: Never argue with a woman who knows how to read. It's likely she can also think. «:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«^i^MISSI ^i^«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§« Richiele Marie [email protected] (Missi) I disbelieved in reincarnation in my last life, too. »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«

i love him.. > >

pssst..who is brittany? im lost.. missi > > (sorry Britney......., you ain't * the King, sweetie) > > *no way, no how >

http://www.snopes2.com/rumors/north.htm Oliver Twisted Claim: Oliver North stated during the 1987 Iran-Contra hearings that Osama bin Laden was "the most evil person alive" and that "an assassin team [should] be formed to eliminate him and his men from the face of the earth." Status: False. Example: [Collected on the Internet, 2001] I was at a UNC lecture the other day where they played a video of Oliver North during the Iran-Contra deals during the Reagan administration. I was only 14 back then but was surprised by this particular clip. There was Olie in front of God and Country getting the third degree. But what he said stunned me. He was being drilled by some senator I didn't recognize who asked him: 'Did you not recently spend close to $60,000 for a home security system?' Oliver replied, 'Yes I did sir.' The senator continued, trying to get a laugh out of the audience, 'Isn't this just a little excessive?' 'No sir,' continued Oliver. 'No. And why not?' 'Because the life of my family and I were threatened.' 'Threatened? By who.' 'By a terrorist, sir.' 'Terrorist? What terrorist could possibly scare you that much?' 'His name is Osama bin Laden.' At this point the senator tried to repeat the name, but couldn't pronounce it, which most people back then probably couldn't. A couple of people laughed at the attempt. Then the senator continued. 'Why are you so afraid of this man?' 'Because sir, he is the most evil person alive that I know of.' 'And what do you recommend we do about him?' 'If it were me I would recommend an assassin team be formed to eliminate him and his men from the face of the earth.' The senator disagreed with this approach and that was all they showed of the clip. It's scary when you think 15 years ago the government was aware of Osama bin Laden and his potential threat to the security of the world. I guess like all great tyrants they start small but if left untended spread like the virus they truly are. Origins: For most of us who watched the televised Iran-Contra hearings in 1987 -- held by Congress to determine whether the Reagan administration had secretly and illegally sold arms to Iran in order to secure the release of American hostages, then used the profits from those sales to fund the contra rebels in Nicaragua -- the enduring image we came away with was a memory of an unapologetic and resolute Lt. Col. Oliver North delivering testimony in a Marine uniform. North, who was a central figure in the plan to secretly ship arms to Iran despite a U.S. trade and arms embargo, and who as a National Security Council aide directed efforts to raise private and foreign funds for the contras despite a Congressional prohibition on U.S. government agencies' providing military aid to the Nicaraguan rebels, testified before Congress under a grant of limited immunity in July 1987, becoming "the darling of the American conservative movement with his earnest, self-justifying testimony during the televised hearings" (or, to the other side, becoming a villain "who lied to Congress to support an illegal war"). Although North had been granted limited immunity for his testimony, he was later convicted of criminal charges related to Iran-Contra activities (a conviction that was eventually overturned on the grounds that witnesses had been influenced by his immunized testimony). One of the charges against North was that he had received a $16,000 home security system paid for out of the proceeds of the Iran-Contra affair and had forged documents to cover his receipt of an illegal gratuity. North admitted that he knew the security system was a "gift" but maintained he never inquired about who had paid for it or how it was financed, and he was insistent that he needed the security system because the government had failed to provide adequate protection against international terrorists for him and his family. The terrorist North mentioned in his testimony was not Osama bin Laden, however. To the extent that bin Laden was known to the western world in 1987, it was not as a "terrorist" but as one of the U.S.-backed "freedom fighters" participating in the war against the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan. Osama bin Laden's hatred of the U.S. and conversion to "terrorist" status is not believed to have come about until the Gulf War of 1990-91, when he was outspokenly critical of Saudi Arabian dependence upon the U.S. military and denounced U.S. support of a "corrupt, materialist, and irreligious" Saudi monarchy. (The Saudi Arabian government stripped bin Laden of his citizenship in 1994 for his funding of militant fundamentalist Islamic groups.) No, Oliver North did not testify about or speak the name Osama bin Laden during the Iran-Contra hearings. He claimed that threats against his life had been made by terrorist Abu Nidal, telling a congressional committee: I want you to know that I'd be more than willing . . . to meet Abu Nidal on equal terms anywhere in the world. There's an even deal for him. OK? But I am not willing to have my wife and my four children meet Abu Nidal or his organization on his terms. To emphasize his point, North showed the committee a blow-up of a newspaper article detailing the atrocities of Abu Nidal and recalled that an 11-year-old girl named Natasha Simpson, the daughter of an Associated Press news editor, had been gunned down (along with four other Americans) during an attack by an Abu Nidal group on the El Al terminal at the Rome airport in December 1985. North also later claimed that an attempt on his life had been made five months before his congressional testimony at the instigation of Libyan leader Mohmmar Qadaffi: In February 1987, Muammar Ghadaffi ordered his thugs to carry out a threat made against me in 1986. Thankfully, the FBI intercepted the well-armed perpetrators on the way to our home, and my family and I were sequestered for a time on a military base. The orders from Tripoli were delivered to a terrorist cell in Virginia -- at the offices of The People's Committee for Libyan Students. So no, Oliver North didn't warn us back in 1987 about Osama bin Laden's "potential threat to the security of the world" or suggest that bin Laden be hunted down by "an assassin team," nor was he given the brush-off by a clueless senator "who disagreed with this approach." Finger-pointers will have to look elsewhere.

< not about me..i send storys .. I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called "Smile." The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway, so, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally. Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son. We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did. I did not move an inch ... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved. As I turned around I smelled a horrible "dirty body" smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was "smiling." His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance. He said, "Good day" as he counted the few coins he had been clutching. The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue eyed gentleman was his salvation. I held my tears as I stood there with them. The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, "Coffee is all Miss" because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm). Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action. I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue eyed gentleman's cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Thank you!" I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, "I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope." I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, "That is why God gave you to me, Honey. To give me hope." We held hands for a moment and at that time we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give. We are not church goers, but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love. I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand. I turned in "my project" and the instructor read it. Then she looked up at me and said, "Can I share this?" I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew; that we as human beings and being part of God, share this need to heal people and to be healed. In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my husband, son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student. I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn: UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE. Love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS - NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE. If you think this story has touched you in any way, please send this to everyone you know. There is an Angel sent to watch over you. In order for her to work, you must pass this on to the people you want watched over. An Angel wrote: Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart. God Gives every bird it's food, but He does not throw it into it's nest. »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«§:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*: »§« My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they're just jealous because they don't have pajamas with feet. Richiele 'Marie <*}}>< MSN [email protected] »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«§:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«

Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you. Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget. You can only go as far as you push. Actions speak louder than words. The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else. Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff. Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while you might miss it. A BEST FRIEND is like a four leaf clover, HARD TO FIND and LUCKY TO HAVE. When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your BEST FRIEND will be there. TRUE FRIENDSHIP "NEVER" ENDS. Friends are FOREVER. Good friends are like stars ... you don't always see them, but you know they are always there. What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry? Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them. Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end. »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«§:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*: »§« My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they're just jealous because they don't have pajamas with feet. Richiele 'Marie <*}}>< MSN [email protected] »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«§:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«

You say you will never forget where you were when you heard the news On September 11, 2001. Neither will I. I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room with a man who called his wife to say "Good-Bye." I held his fingers steady as he dialed. I gave him the peace to say, "Honey, I am not goingto make it, but it is OK...I am ready to go." I was with his wife when he called as she fed breakfast to their children. I held her up as she tried to understand his words and as she realized he wasn't coming home that night. I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a woman cried out to Me for help. "I have been knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!" I said. "Of course I will show you the way home - only believe on Me now." I was at the base of the building with the Priest ministering to the injured and devastated souls. I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He heard my voice and answered. I was on all four of those planes, in every seat, with every prayer. I was with the crew as they were overtaken. I was in the very hearts of the believers there, comforting and assuring them that their faith has saved them. I was in Texas, Kansas, London. I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news. Did you sense Me? I want you to know that I saw every face. I knew every name - though not all know Me. Some met Me for the first time on the 86th floor. Some sought Me with their last breath. Some couldn't hear Me calling to them through the smoke and flames; "Come to Me...this way... take my hand." Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me. But, I was there. I did not place you in the Tower that day. You may not know why, but I do. However, if you were there in that explosive moment in time, would you have reached for Me? September 11, 2001 was not the end of the journey for you. But someday your journey will end. And I will be there for you as well. Seek Me now while I may be found. Then, at any moment, you know you are "ready to go." I will be in the stairwell of your final moments. - God author unknown OUR FATHER During the next 60 seconds, stop whatever you are doing, and take this opportunity. (Literally it is only 1 minute) All you have to do is the following: You simply say an "Our Father" for the person that sent you this message: Our Father who are in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name, Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever Amen. Next, you send this message to everyone you know. In a while, more people will have prayed for you and you would have obtained a lot of people praying for others. Next, stop and think and appreciate God's power in your life, for doing what you know is pleasing to him. If you are not ashamed to do this, follow the instructions. Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before My Father" If you are not ashamed, send this message...only if you believe. "Yes, I love my God. He is my fountain of Life and My Savior. He keeps me going day and night. Without Him, I am no one. But with Him, I can do everything. Christ is my strength." This is a simple test. If you love God and you are not ashamed of all the great things that he has done for you, send this to everyone you know, and the person that send it to you. Thanks!!! »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«§:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*: »§« My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they're just jealous because they don't have pajamas with feet. Richiele 'Marie <*}}>< MSN [email protected] »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«§:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«

> Can I Get a Push? ------------------------------------ > A man and his wife are awakened at 3 AM by a loud > pounding on the front door. The man struggles out of > bed and goes to the door, opens it, and finds an > obviously drunken stranger standing in a pouring > rain. > > Almost snarling because of the inconvenience, the > guy says to the drunk,"Yeah, what do you want?!" > > Would you give me a push?" the drunk slurs. > > Are you crazy? Not a chance," the husband answers. > "It's three o'clock in the morning!" and slams the > door and returns to bed. > > Who was it?" asked the wife, not helping the > situation in the least. "Some drunk asking for a > push," he mumbles. > > Did you help him? the wife asks. Now teetering on > the edge of exploding, the guy says, "NO! I didn't > help him...it's three in the morning and raining > like crazy outside." > > Well, you've got a very short memory," says his > wife. "Don't you remember when we were on the way > to a party and those two guys helped us? I think you > should help this poor man." > > Now wide awake and knowing he'll he unable to go > back to sleep, the husband mumbles under his breath, > gets dressed, and stands on the front porch in the > driving rain. "Hey, are you still out there?" > "Yeah," comes the answer. > > Do you still want a push?" asks the husband "Yes, > please!" comes the reply from the dark. Unable to > see anything or anyone in the dark, the husbands > says, "Where are you?" The drunk replies "Over > »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«§:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*: »§« My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they're just jealous because they don't have pajamas with feet. Richiele 'Marie <*}}>< MSN [email protected] »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«§:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«

> , > > > Subject: Olie North > > > > > > > > Reported by a friend in Florida: > > > > > > > > I was at a UNC lecture the other day where they played a video of > > > > Oliver North during the Iran-Contra deals during the Reagan > > > > administration. > > > > > > > > There was Olie in front of God and Country getting the third > > > > degree. But what he said stunned me. He was being drilled by some > > > senator > > > > I didn't recognize who asked him; 'Did you not recently spend close > to > > > > $60,000 for a home > > > > security system?' > > > > Oliver replied, 'Yes I did sir.' > > > > The senator continued, trying to get a laugh out of the audience, > > > > 'Isn't this just a little excessive?' 'No sir,' continued Oliver. > > > > 'No. And why not?' > > > > 'Because the life of my family and I were threatened.' > > > > 'Threatened? By who.' 'By a terrorist, sir.' > > > > 'Terrorist? What terrorist could possibly scare you that much?' > > > > 'His name is Osama bin Laden.' > > > > At this point the senator tried to repeat the name, but couldn't > > > > pronounce it, which most people back then probably couldn't. A > > > > couple of people laughed at the attempt. Then the senator continued. > > > > 'Why are you so afraid of this man?' > > > > 'Because sir, he is the most evil person alive that I know of.' > > > > 'And what do you recommend we do about him?' > > > > 'If it were me I would recommend an assassin team be formed to > > > > eliminate him and his men from the face of the earth.' > > > > The senator disagreed with this approach and that was all they > > > > showed of the clip. > > > > It's scary when you think 15 years ago the government was aware of > > > > Osama bin Laden and his potential threat to the security of the > > > > world. I guess like all great tyrants they start small but if left > > > untended > > > > > > > > spread like the virus they truly are. > > > »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«§:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*: »§« My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they're just jealous because they don't have pajamas with feet. Richiele 'Marie <*}}>< MSN [email protected] »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«§:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«

>Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone >is when they are right beside you, and yet you can never have >them..... >When the moment you can't feel them under your fingertips, >you miss them? > >Have you ever wondered which hurts the most; >saying something and wishing you had not, >or saying nothing and wishing you had? >I guess the most important things are the >hardest things to say. > >Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. >If you do, they might break your heart ... >but if you don't, >you might break theirs. > >Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you >were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? > >Your heart decides who it likes and who it doesn't. >You can't tell your heart what to do. >It does it on its own.... when you least suspect it, >or even when you don't want it to. > >Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you >had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? >Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care >too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, >or at all. > >Have you ever loved someone and they had absolutely no idea >whatsoever? Or fell for your best-friend in the entire world, >and then sat around and watched him/her fall for someone else? > >Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your >fear of rejection was too hard to handle? >We tell lies when we are afraid.... afraid of what we don't know, >afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out >about us. But every time we tell a lie....the thing we fear grows >stronger. > >Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. >Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they >would have, or could have had. No one waits forever... > »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«§:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*: »§« My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they're just jealous because they don't have pajamas with feet. Richiele 'Marie <*}}>< MSN [email protected] »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«§:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«

> Read, Send it back, you'll see why > > A Box of gold > > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* > With a secret inside > that has never > been told > > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* > > This box is priceless > but as I see > > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* > > The treasure inside is > precious to me > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* > > Today I share this > treasure with thee > > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* > > It's the treasure of > friendship you've > given me. > > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* > > If this comes back to you > then you'll have a friend > for life but, if this > becomes deleted, you are > not a friend. > Send this to everyone you > consider a friend!! > > @@ > > (-------) > +=---=+ > > This is a magic frog. > It will grant you one wish and only one wish, > that is, if you decide to send this to others. You can wish for anything. > »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«§:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*: »§« My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they're just jealous because they don't have pajamas with feet. Richiele 'Marie <*}}>< MSN [email protected] »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«§:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«

> REMEMBER WHEN: > >Mom was at home when the kids got home from school; > >when nobody owned a purebred dog; > >when a quarter was a decent allowance, and another > >quarter a huge bonus; > >when you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny; when all of > >your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had > >their hair done and wore high heels; > >when you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked and gas > >pumped without asking, all for free, every time, and, you didn't > >pay for air, and, you got trading stamps to boot. > > > >When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner > >at a real restaurant with your parents; when the worst thing you could > >do at school was smoke in the bathrooms, flunk a test or chew gum; > >when a '57 Chevy was everyone's dream car, to cruise, peel out, lay > >rubber or watch submarine races; and people went! steady and girls wore a > >class ring with an inch of wrapped yarn so it would fit her finger. > > > >And no one ever asked where the car keys were because they were > >always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked. > >And you got in big trouble if you accidentally locked the doors at home, > >since no one ever had a key. > > > >Remember lying on your back on the grass with your friends and > >saying things like "That cloud looks like a ... " > > > >Remember jumping waves at the ocean for hours in that cold > >water; and playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the > >rules of the game because baseball was not a psycho! logical group > >learning experience, it was a game. > > > >Remember when stuff from the store came without safety caps and > >hermetic seals because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect > >stranger. > > > >And with all our progress, don't you wish, just once, you could slip > >back in time a! nd savor the slower pace and share it with the children > >of today. > > > >Remember when being sent to the principal's office was nothing > >compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home. > >Basically, we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of drive > >by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a > >much bigger threat! > > > >But we all survived because their love was greater than the threat. > > > >Go back with me for a minute.... > > > >Before the Internet or the MAC ... before semi automatics and crack > >before SEGA or Super Nintendo... Way back .... I'm talking about hide > >and go seek at dusk, red light, green light, kick the can, playing > >kickball & dodgeball until your porch light came on ... and mother may I? > >red rover, hula hoops, roller skating to music, running through the > >sprinkler... > > > >And... > > > >Catching lightning bugs in a jar; Christmas morning; your first day > >of ! school; bedtime prayers and goodnight kisses; climbing trees; getting > >an ice cream off the ice cream truck; a million mosquito bites and > >sticky fingers; jumping on the bed; pillow fights; running till you were > >out of breath' laughing so hard your stomach hurt; being tired from > >playing; your first crush...remember that? > > > >I'm not finished yet.... > > > >Kool-aid ! was the drink of summer; toting your friends on your handle > >bars; wearing your new shoes on the first day of school and class > >field trips. > > > >Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember > >that! > > > >There's nothing like the good old days. They were good then, and > >they're good now when we think about them. Share some of these > >thoughts with a friend who can relate, then share it with someone > >that missed out on them. > > > >I want to go back to the time when............ > > > >Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo" and mis! takes were > >corrected by simply exclaiming, "do it over!" "Race issue" meant arguing > >about who ran the fastest; money issues were handled by whoever was the > >banker in "Monopoly;" catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire > >evening; and it wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends. Being > >old referred to anyone over 20 and the worst thing you could catch from > >the opposite sex was cooties. > > > >Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better; it was a big deal to > >finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement > >park; getting a foot of snow was a dream come true; abilities were > >discovered because of a "double-dog-dare;" Spinning around, getting > >dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles; the worst embarrassment was > >being picked last for a team; water balloons were the ultimate weapon; > >and older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest > >protectors. > >If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!! > >Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown up" life. > > > > »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«§:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*: »§« My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they're just jealous because they don't have pajamas with feet. Richiele 'Marie <*}}>< MSN [email protected] »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«§:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«

> Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead? > >A: The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up. > >Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead? > >A: The sex is the same, but you get the remote. > >Q: What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down? > >A: Marriage > >Q: How many men does it take to change a light bulb? > >A: None, they just sit there in the dark and complain. > >Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart? > >A: Through his chest with a sharp knife. > >Q: What have men and floor tiles got in common? > >A: If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over > >them for life. > >Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, > >caring and good-looking? > >A: Because those men already have boyfriends. > >Q: Why are men like public toilets? > >A: Because all the good ones are engaged and the only ones left are > >full of crap. > >Q: What is a man's view of safe sex? > >A: A padded headboard. > >Q: How do men sort their laundry? > >A: "Filthy" and "Filthy but wearable" > >Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? > >A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. > >Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? > >A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention > >of > >driving. > >Q: What do you call a smart blonde? > >A: A golden retriever. > >Q: Why do men want to marry virgins? > >A: They can't stand criticism. > >Q: Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? > >A: The guy who can have a cup of coffee in each hand and still carry > >a dozen donuts. > >Q: Who is the most popular woman at the nudist colony? > >A: The woman who ate the last donut. > >Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman? > >A: A battery has a positive side. > >Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in third grade. Who > >has the biggest breasts? > >A: The blonde, because she's 18. > >Q: Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra? > >A: When you take it off you wonder where the breasts went. > >Q: Do you know the punishment for bigamy? > >A: Two mothers-in-law. > >Q: Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? > >A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody > >Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? > >A: 45 lbs. > >Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? > >A: 45 min. > >Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? > >A: Sexual Harassment > >Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? > >A: $3.99 a minute. > > »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§« Proud to be an AMERICAN <A HREF="http://www.doubtlessdesigns.net/">God Bless America</A> <click> Richiele 'Marie  <*}}}}>< »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«

> >One day The Lord spoke to Adam. "I've got some good news and > >some bad news," The Lord said. > > > >Adam looked at The Lord and replied, "Well, give me the good news > >first." > > > >Smiling, The Lord explained, "I've got two new organs for you, > >one is called a brain. It will allow you to create new things, > >solve problems, and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The > >other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will give you > >great physical pleasure and allow you to reproduce your now > >intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very > >happy that you now have this organ to give her children." > > > >Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have > >given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great > >tidings?" > > > >The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, > >. > >. > >. > >. > >. > >. > >. > >. > >. > >. > >. > >. > >. > >. > >. > >. > >. > >. > >. > >. > >

> >In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait." > > > >On an electrician's truck, "Let us remove your shorts." > > > >Outside a radiator repair shop, "Best place in town to take a leak." > > > >In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on > >fire > >and take appropriate action." > > > >On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push." > > > >On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog." > > > >At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking for, > >you've come to the right place." > > > >On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff." > > > >On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs." > > > >On a fence, "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive." > > > >At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car > >payment." > > > >Outside a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming." > > > >In a dry cleaner's emporium, "Drop your pants here." > > > >On a desk in a reception room, "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd > >one > >just left." > > > >In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" > > > >At the electric company, "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. > >However, if you don't, you will be." > > > >In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!" > > > >On the side of a garbage truck, "We've got what it takes to take what > >you've > >got." (Burglars please copy.) > > > >In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get > >fed up." > > > >Inside a bowling alley, "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop." > > > >In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat > >any place they want." > > > >"First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you > >forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to > >pull it down." > >- George Burns > »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«§:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*: »§« My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they're just jealous because they don't have pajamas with feet. Richiele 'Marie <*}}>< MSN [email protected] »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«§:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«

Women's Embarrassing Moments > >Curl Up and Die > >I walked into a hair salon with my husband >and three kids in tow and asked loudly, How much do >you charge for a shampoo and a blow job? > >Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin, TX > > >Pad, please! > >An insurance man visited me at home to talk about >our mortgage insurance. He was throwing a lot of >facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as >best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run >and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a >Kotex right in front of our guest. > >Kathy Newman, 46,Winston-Salem, NC > > >Ho, Ho, Ho > >I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came >into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet >paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, >so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They >came out so well that I had copies made and >included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days >later, a relative called about the picture,laughing >hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. >Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked >to discover that in addition to my son, I had >captured my reflection in the mirror - wearing >nothing but a camera! > >Name Withheld > >Lady Golfer > >I was at the golf store comparing different kinds >of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type >I had been using. After browsing for several >minutes, I was approached by one of the >good-looking gentlemen who works at the >store. He asked if he could help me. >Without thinking, I looked at him >and said,"I think I like playing with men's balls." > >Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI > >Nuts about You > >My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a >store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were >looking at the display case, the boy behind the >counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, >"No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister >started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, >and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this >day, my sister has never let me forget. > >Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD > > >The following are the top four winners of a Most >Embarrassing Moments Contest in the New Woman >Magazine: > >Na-na na-na na-nah! > >While in line at the bank one afternoon, my >toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and >ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her >after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance >from other patrons. I told her that if she did not >start behaving right now she would be punished. >To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said >in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let >me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw >you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night! The >silence was deafening after this enlightening >exchange. > >Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I >mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out >of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last >thing I heard when the door closed behind me >were screams of laughter. > >Amy Richardson; Stafford, Virginia > > >Priceless > >One of the funniest most-embarrassing-moment >stories I've come upon in a long time was >about a lady who picked up several items at a >discount store. When she finally got up to the >checker, she learned that one of her items >had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when >the checker got on the intercom and boomed out >for all the store to hear,"PRICE CHECK ON LANE >THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad >enough, but somebody at the rear of the store >apparently misunderstood the word Tampax for >THUMBTACKS. In a business-like tone, a voice >boomed back over the intercom. DO YOU WANT THE >KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR >THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?? > >Mom's Advice >A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back >of the class was squirming around, scratching >his crotch and not paying attention. > >She went back to find out what was going on. He >was quite embarrassed and whispered that he >had just recently been circumcised and he was >quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to >the principal's office. He was to phone his >mother and ask her what he should do about it. He >did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there >was a commotion at the back of the room. > >She went back to investigate only to find him >sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. >"I thought I told you to call your mom?" she >screamed. "I did," he said, "And she told me that >if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and >pick me up. > > »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§« Proud to be an AMERICAN <A HREF="http://www.doubtlessdesigns.net/">God Bless America</A> <click> Richiele 'Marie  <*}}}}>< »§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«:*´`³¤³´`*:»§«

---- Original Message ----- From: "Sandee Eveland" This is obviously from an article...no source is given...sorry...! But it's never too soon to plan on what to do with all those leftovers...pick up the necessary ingredients for the "after Thanksgiving" meals when you shop for the big one...:) Sandee :) ----- Now You're Cooking! v5.45 [Meal-Master Export Format] Title: Dealing With Those Turkey Leftovers! Categories: poultry Yield: 1 see directions What do you do with the rest of the turkey after the big Thanksgiving meal? You're exhausted, your family doesn't want to eat days and days or turkey dishes, and you don't want the food to spoil. There is a way to get the most out of your holiday meal, without torturing your family with endless concoctions just to use up the leftovers. The true secret is to have a plan of attack! Divide and Conquer! First, take as much meat off of the turkey carcass as possible. I've gotten it down to where I can debone a 15-pound turkey in 5-10 minutes. It's easier than chicken because turkeys are so much bigger - you have a better hold on everything! Divide the leftovers into the following: * Sliced breast meat: save large slices for "dinner slices"- all you have to do is reheat and serve with gravy and potatoes (which also freeze well) for an instant Thanksgiving feast. Frozen, they'll keep just fine until your family gets a hankering for turkey again! * Diced smaller chunks of white meat for meals where turkey is the "star" of the meal: stir fries, turkey ala king, turkey salad, etc. * Dark meat: chopped for dishes where the meat is not necessarily the focus: casseroles, one dish meals, stews, potpies, soups, curries, etc. Some people love the dark meat, while others have to hide it in order to eat it. We address both here! * Bones, skin, gizzards: used for turkey stock and broth * Drippings- use for making gravies any time you want Freeze!! The most important thing you can do at this point is to freeze everything. You've spent days preparing for the holiday, and have probably been cooking all day. The last thing you want to do is cook any more than you have to. So, freeze it all in ziplocs, in 2-cup and 5-cup freezer containers, whatever makes you happy. Then, when you feel like whipping up something nice and easy, you have tons of precooked meat ready to go. Go beyond just freezing the meat - you can also wrap up the turkey carcass with foil and throw that in the freezer too, or throw it in a crockpot, cover with water and turn on low. Turn it into soup stock tomorrow and freeze that too. You can also freeze drippings and turn them into gravy later, or just make the gravy and freeze that. Remember, just about anything from the Thanksgiving table freezes well - leftover mashed potatoes, rolls, cranberry sauce, etc. If you have mountains of the stuff, divide into family-sized portions and have a mini-Thanksgiving whenever your heart desires. Don't forget to label your leftovers so you can find them again. Whip it Up! The following recipes are my favorites for using up turkey. We love to eat these dishes, and no one feels that they are suffering through "another leftover meal". Just be creative, and have fun. You'll also find more ideas and recipes for using up turkey in my Turkey Plan. DINNER SLICES: Just slice the leftover turkey breast into serving-sized pieces, lay on a cookie sheet, and freeze. When frozen, put into a ziploc baggie in meal sized amounts. Freeze leftover gravy and mashed potatoes separately and you have an instant Thanksgiving style dinner without the work! TO SERVE: Thaw in fridge or microwave. Heat over to 350 and put slices in a casserole with lid. Pour gravy over top and reheat for 30 minutes or so. I have even put the mashed potatoes in with the turkey and gravy. Serve with steamed veggies and salad. TURKEY BROTH: It's so easy! Simply boil the carcass in a pot with lots of water and your favorite seasonings, or throw in the crockpot. Boil for an hour or 2 or slow cook overnight. Strain the broth, debone any meat that has fallen off of the bones, and freeze. You can also pressure can turkey broth - check the booklet that came with your pressure canner for instructions. Use the broth as a base for soups, gravies, sauces, and in low fat cooking (make sure to skim the fat off of the top after the broth has cooled). SOUP IDEAS: Go wild! Try tortellini soup, tortilla soup, whatever you like! Use your imagination to create fun, interesting soups from your leftovers. MM waldine_vangeffen. -----

----- Original Message ----- From: "Spring" <[email protected] ~*~ Perk up your next party with this easy and elegant dip idea. Take a whole bell pepper, red, yellow, orange, green or a combination of your choice and slice off the top. With a small paring knife carefully remove the seeds and the white pith from the inside of the pepper. If the pepper won´t stand upright, slice of a very small portion of the bottom (don´t make a hole). Scoop dip into hollowed out pepper(s) and place on a platter and surround with raw vegetables. ~*~ When a dip recipe calls for softened cream cheese, buy whipped cream cheese instead of regular. It's softer consistency means you won't need to take the time to let it soften before adding it to your other ingredients, and the resulting dip will be smooth and lump free. ~*~ When reheating sandwiches in the microwave they often become soggy from the excess moisture. To avoid this, wrap the sandwich in a paper towel before heating. ~*~ Edible Vegetable Centerpiece Impress your guests with this decorative, edible centerpiece. Buy a Styrofoam cone available at craft stores, cover with curly endive or lettuce secured with plain toothpicks. Using cello-tipped toothpicks secure baby sweet pickles, sweet onions, cubes of cheese, olives, radish roses, Cherry Tomatoes, cubes of ham, salami and roast beef onto the covered cone. Place filled cone on a platter secured with a little double stick tape. Surround cone with additional raw vegetables, melba toast rounds and other small crackers. Serve with your favorite dip on the side. ~*~ Oysters: · Oysters are available seasonally. The rule that generally holds is that any month (in the English language) that contains the letter R is a good month for oysters. · Shellfish prefer cold water. More importantly, warmer waters mean an increase in bacteria levels, and they can be dangerous to eat. · Fresh oysters should be closed tight, and kept either in fresh bay water or on a bed of ice. Never select shellfish that are open!! ~*~ Basting Shortcut Fill a squeeze bottle with barbecue sauce or marinade. Sauce can be squeezed directly onto foods while grilling, reducing cleanup. ~*~ "Bookmark" favorite recipes in your cookbooks with a paper clip for quick and easy access. ~*~ Cheese Garnish Use a potato peeler to create cheese peels for garnishing salads, soups and more. ~*~ Chop Sticky Things Next time you need to chop sticky ingredients (dried fruit, etc.), coat a pair of kitchen shears with nonstick cooking spray and snip away. ~*~ Flavor Olive Oil Introduce any of the following ingredients to a cup of extra virgin olive oil for flavorful results: · Rosemary · Thyme · Fennel (and other herbs) · 5-10 Juniper Berries · A few cloves of garlic Store flavored oil in the refrigerator and use within two weeks. ~*~ Fight Fried Odors Next time you fry foods, try placing a small cup of bleach nearby. The bleach absorbs much of the "fried" odor (that would otherwise linger for days!) Be sure to clearly mark the cup and keep it out of the reach of children. ~*~ Flavorful Ice Cubes When ice cubes melt, they water down your drink. Prevent dilution by making flavored ice cubes from punch, soft drinks or even milk. ~*~ Frozen Bread Dough No time to knead? Transform frozen bread dough into cinnamon rolls, dinner rolls, pizza crusts and more. ~*~ Ice Bowls To create elegant chilled displays, try lining a bowl with flowers or herbs. Nest a smaller bowl inside of it, then fill the space between the two with water. Place the two bowls in a freezer for several hours or overnight. Remove them from the freezer and sit in a sink until the top bowl easily lifts out. Lift the decorative "ice bowl" from the larger bowl and keep it in the freezer until ready for use. It can be filled with fruit, vegetables, seafood, dips and more. ~*~ If recipe printouts are taking over your kitchen, invest in a simple 3-ring binder. Organize the recipes into intuitive categories and store it with your cookbooks. Flag favorites with a Post-It® note and be sure to jot down comments and modifications as you experiment! ~*~ Melting Chocolate Place chocolate squares or chopped chocolate in a microwaveable bowl. Microwave on high for 1 minute. Stir. Return to microwave if necessary. Heat and stir in 30-second intervals until chocolate reaches smooth, melted consistency. ~*~ Soften Butter To soften butter, let it stand at room temperature for 10 to 15 minutes. No time for that? Place it between sheets of wax paper and pound with a rolling pin. ~*~ Steam Foods Steaming can be an effective way to preserve food flavor, color, and nutrients. Water is the most common liquid for steaming, but broth, beer or wine can also be used to impart extra flavor. Use a steaming basket to prevent foods from contact with the boiling liquid. Be sure to use caution -- steam is hotter than boiling water and can cause burns. ~*~ Stir-frying Tips Stir-frying requires high heat and high speed. Here are a few tips to make the process go smoothly: · Prepare all ingredients ahead of time. · Add dense vegetables (carrots) first. · Tender vegetables (mushrooms) and leafy greens (spinach, bok choy) require less cooking time. · Meats can be stir-fried first, set aside, then reintroduced at the last minute. (This will prevent overcooking). ~~*~~ The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. ~~*~~ Sally Jo

----- Original Message ----- From: "Spring" <[email protected] Selecting a Holiday Tree Follow these points to choose the freshest precut tree: Purchase the tree early so that it can go in water closer to the time when it was cut. Consider that locally grown trees are usually fresher than trees that have been shipped from a distance. They are also generally less expensive. Select a tree that is at least one foot shorter than the ceiling height in the room where you will display your tree. Make sure the base of the trunk is straight and 6 to 8 inches long to allow placement in the tree stand. Look for a tree with a healthy, green appearance and few dead or browning needles. Avoid trees with a wilted look. Run your hand along a branch. Needles should be fresh and flexible and should not come off in your hand. Bump the trunk of the tree on the ground. If green needles fall off the tree, it is not fresh. You can expect a few brown needles to fall from the tree. Choose another tree if many brown needles fall off. Common types of cut holiday trees: Douglas Fir Description: Soft dark green or blue-green needles. Light in weight with firm branches. Scent: Sweet, citrus fragrance. Needle Retention: Excellent if fresh. Eastern Red Cedar Description: Dense, finely textured, dark green foliage. Foliage is sometimes prickly. Will not support heavy ornaments. Scent: Very strongly aromatic. Needle Retention: Dries quickly; make sure that the tree has a constant supply of water. Eastern White Pine Description: Usually very full and dense with long, soft blue-green needles. Branches will not support very heavy ornaments. Scent: Pine fragrance, but less intense than other pines. Needle Retention: Excellent, however, trees will wilt visibly if not given adequate water. Fraser Fir Description: Short, firm dark green needles with white bands on the undersides. Sturdy limbs. Scent: Exceptional and long lasting aroma. Needle Retention: Excellent. Avoid trees with split trunks. Trees with splits will dry rapidly. Leyland Cypress Description: Dense, soft-textured dark green to grayish-blue foliage. Limbs will not support heavy ornaments unless heavily sheared. Scent: Little scent. Needle Retention: Excellent. Uses large quantities of water. Must water several times per day to prevent drying. Norway Spruce Description: Stiff, sharp, dark green needles on strong branches. Scent: Light balsam-like aroma. Needle Retention: Poor. Scotch Pine Description: Dark to bluish-green, fairly sharp, short needles. Stiff branches will support heavy ornaments. Scent: Pleasant pine fragrance Needle Retention: Excellent. Virginia Pine Description: Dense, short-needled, artistically spiralled foliage. Strong limbs support heavy ornaments. Scent: Pleasant pine fragrance Needle Retention: Excellent.

TO WARM THE SOUL In a season when nesting is in vogue, the faux mink-covered hot water bottle ($90) may wind up under the Christmas tree. It's new from the Ernest Hemingway Collection. (What would Papa think?) Where: In cosmetics at Zitomer in New York City. Leave it to the Canadians to come up with sheets that give a whole new meaning to self-help. Lusty Linen is a line of bedding with printed instructions, including some sketches from the Kama Sutra, the love guide from ancient India. Prices: $139.99, to fit a double/full mattress; $159.99 for a queen; $179.99 for a king-sized set, plus shipping. To order, go online to: http://www.lustylinen.com, or call 1-877-94-LUSTY.