At 11:25 AM 11/7/97 -0500, another list wrote: > > > > >> >> LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD >> >> There once was a young person named Little Red >> Riding Hood who lived on the edge of a large forest >> full of endangered owls and rare plants that would >> probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone >> took the time to study them. Red Riding Hood lived >> with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred to >> as "mother," although she didn't mean to imply by this >> term that she would have thought less of the person if >> a close biological link did not in fact exist. Nor did she >> intend to denigrate the equal value of nontraditional >> households. >> >> One day her mother asked her to take a basket of >> organically grown fruit and mineral water to her >> grandmother's house. "But mother, won't this be >> stealing employment from the unionized workers who >> have struggled for years to earn the right to carry all >> packages between various people in the woods?" >> Red Riding Hood's mother assured her that she had >> called the union boss and gotten a special >> compassionate mission exemption. "But mother, aren't >> you oppressing me by ordering me to do this?" Red >> Riding Hood's mother pointed out that it was >> impossible for womyn to oppress each other, since all >> womyn were equally oppressed until all womyn were >> free. "But mother, then shouldn't you have my brother >> carry the basket, since he's an oppressor, and should >> learn what it's like to be oppressed?" And Red Riding >> Hood's mother explained that her brother was >> attending a special rally for animal rights, and >> besides, this wasn't stereotypical womyn's work, but >> an empowering deed that would help engender a feeling >> of community. "But won't I be oppressing Grandma, by >> implying that she's sick and hence unable to >> independently further her own selfhood?" Red Riding >> Hood's mother explained that her grandmother wasn't >> actually sick or incapacitated or mentally >> handicapped in any way, although that was >> not to imply that any of these conditions were inferior >> to what some people called "health." >> Thus Red Riding Hood felt that she could get behind >> the idea of delivering the basket to her grandmother, >> and so she set off. >> >> Many people believed that the forest was a foreboding >> and dangerous place, but Red Riding Hood knew that >> this was an irrational fear based on cultural >> paradigms instilled by a patriarchal society that >> regarded the natural world as an exploitable resource, >> and hence believed that natural predators were in fact >> intolerable competitors. Other people avoided the >> woods for fear of thieves and deviants, but Red Riding >> Hood felt that in a truly classless society all >> marginalized peoples would be able to "come out" of >> the woods and be accepted as valid lifestyle role >> models. >> >> On her way to Grandma's house, Red Riding Hood >> passed a woodchopper, and wandered off the path, in >> order to examine some flowers. She was startled to >> find herself standing before a Wolf, who asked her >> what was in her basket. Red Riding Hood's teacher >> had warned her never to talk to strangers, but she >> was confident in taking control of her own budding >> sexuality, and chose to dialogue with the Wolf. The >> Wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little >> girl to walk through these woods alone." Red Riding >> Hood replied, "I am taking my Grandmother some >> healthful snacks in a gesture of solidarity. I find your >> sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore >> it because of your traditional status as an outcast >> from society, the stress of which has caused you to >> develop an alternative and yet entirely valid worldview. >> Now, if you'll excuse me, I would prefer to be on my >> way." >> >> Red Riding Hood returned to the main path, and >> proceeded towards her Grandmother's house. But >> because his status outside society had freed him >> from slavish adherence to linear, Western-style >> thought, the Wolf knew of a quicker route to >> Grandma's house. He burst into the house and ate >> Grandma, a course of action affirmative of his nature >> as a predator. Then, unhampered by rigid, >> traditionalist gender role notions, he put on Grandma's >> nightclothes, crawled under the bedclothes, and >> awaited developments. >> >> Red Riding Hood entered the cottage and said, >> "Grandma, I have brought you some cruelty-free >> snacks to salute you in your role of wise and nurturing >> matriarch." The Wolf said softly, "Come closer, child, >> so that I might see you." Red Riding Hood said, >> "Goddess! Grandma, what big eyes you have!" "You >> forget that I am optically challenged." "And Grandma, >> what an enormous, fine nose you have." "Naturally, I >> could have had it fixed to help my acting career, but I >> didn't give in to such societal pressures, my child." >> "And Grandma, what very big, sharp teeth you have!" >> The Wolf could not take any more of these speciesist >> slurs, and, in a reaction appropriate for his >> accustomed milieu, he leaped out of bed, grabbed >> Little Red Riding Hood, and opened his jaws so wide >> that she could see her poor Grandmother cowering in >> his belly. >> >> "Aren't you forgetting something?" Red Riding Hood >> shouted bravely. "You must request my permission >> before proceeding to a new level of intimacy!" The >> Wolf was so startled by this statement that he >> loosened his grasp on her. >> >> At the same time, the woodchopper burst into the >> cottage, brandishing an axe. "Hands off!" cried the >> woodchopper. >> >> "And what do you think you're doing?" cried Little Red >> Riding Hood. "If I let you help me now, I would be >> expressing a lack of confidence in my own abilities, >> which would lead to poor self esteem and lower >> achievement scores on college entrance exams." >> >> "Last chance, sister! Get your hands off that >> endangered species!" screamed the woodchopper, >> and when Little Red Riding Hood nonetheless made a >> sudden motion, he sliced off her head. "Thank >> goodness you got here in time," said the Wolf. "The >> brat and her grandmother lured me in here. I thought I >> was a goner." >> >> "No, I think I'm the real victim here," said the >> woodchopper. "I've been dealing with my anger ever >> since I saw her picking those protected flowers >> earlier. Do you have any aspirin?" "Sure," said the >> Wolf. "Thanks. I feel your pain." And the Wolf patted >> the woodchopper on his back, gave a little belch, and >> asked, "Do you have any Maalox?" > >- > > > Anne Boyes boyes@gardener.com <center>http://www.geocities.com/~hoseahouse/gen/gene.html Linking to Lives: An indexed collection of links for doing genealogy, beginner to experienced! http://www.geocities.com/~hoseahouse/irish/irish.html WildIrish Roves: Irish Genealogy, History and Culture, with a little Fun! </center>