My, my, my. MS certainly is busy these days! ;) At 05:52 AM 11/25/97 -0500, another list wrote: >November 12, 1997 > > God Acquired By Bill Gates... > > Microsoft Corporation today announced its intent to >purchase, copyright, and upgrade God. > > The new product is to be named "Microsoft God," and will >be available to consumers sometime in late 1998. > > "Too many people feel separated from God in today's >world," said Dave McCavaugh, director of Microsoft's new Religions >division. "Microsoft God will make our Lord more accessible, and will >add an easy, intuitive user interface to Him, making Him not only easier >to find, but easier to communicate with." > > The new Microsoft Religions line will be expanded to >include a multitude of add-on products to Microsoft God, including: > > Microsoft Crusades: This conversion product will bring all >worshipper accounts and prayer files over from previous versions of God, >or from competing products like Buddha or Allah. > > Microsoft God for the World Wide Web: This product ties >Microsoft God with Microsoft Internet Information Server, making our >Lord accessible from the World Wide Web using a standard Web browser >interface. It introduces several new Web technologies, including >Dynamic Salvation and Active Prayer Pages (APP). Donations for the poor >can be donated via a Secure Alms Server. > > Microsoft Prayers: Using a Windows 95-based interface, >this product will allow worshippers to construct effective prayers in a >minimum of time. A Secure Prayer Channel technology will guarantee >delivery of the prayer to Microsoft God servers, and Prayer >Wizards enable users to construct new types of prayers with a minimum >learning curve. > > Microsoft Savior: This product will allow worshippers to >transfer their sins to its internal Vice Database. After a preset >interval, the product will erase itself from the user's system >and establish a clear line of secure communications to the user's >Microsoft God server. > > Additionally, Microsoft is expected to announce a line of >complimentary products for the new Religions line, which will enhance >the functionality of the Microsoft God server product by providing a >customized user interface. These interfaces will be based on >popular religious sects, allowing worshippers to interact with the new >God product in much the same way as the previous version. > > This line is expected to include Microsoft Christianity, >Microsoft Catholicism, Microsoft Judaism (incompatible with Microsoft >Savior), etc. >-- Anne Boyes boyes@gardener.com http://www.geocities.com/~hoseahouse/genealogy/