At 08:45 PM 11/28/97 -0500, another list wrote: > Microsoft's New TV Dinner > >First remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor >Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of >your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's rights). >You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how> good it is. > >If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the >oven using these keystrokes: \mstv.dinn.//08.5min@@50%heat// Then enter: >ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme. If you have a Mac >oven,insert the dinner and press start. The oven will set itself and cook >the dinner. > >If you have a Unix oven, insert the dinner, enter the ingredients of the >dinner (found on the package label), the weight of the dinner, and the >desired level of cooking and press start. The oven will calculate the time >and heat and cook the diner exactly to your specification. > >Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your oven must be restarted. This is a simple procedure. Remove the dinner from the >oven and enter ms.nodamn.good/tryagain\again/again.crap. This process may >have to be repeated. Try unplugging the microwave and then doing a cold >reboot. If this doesn't work, contact your hardware vendor. > >Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger than >the dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of which are >empty. These are for future menu items. If the tray is too large to fit in >your oven you will need to upgrade your equipment. > >Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the chicken >variety is currently produced. If you want another variety, call >MicrosoftHelp and they will explain that you really don't want another >variety. Microsoft Chicken is all you really need. > >Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of >their chicken dinners. Future releases will only be in the larger family >size. Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but must be saved only >in Microsoft approved packaging. > >Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner after '98. However, that >version has yet to be released. Users have permission to get thrilled in >advance. > >Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the freezer, >causing your freezer to self-defrost. This is a feature, not a bug. Your >freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway. Anne Boyes boyes@gardener.com http://www.geocities.com/~hoseahouse/genealogy/