PENRITH HERALD and East Cumberland and Westmorland News. =============================================== SMALL NEWS ITEMS. IT IS STATED that the Turkish Government has ordered an ironclad corvette to be constructed in England at a cost of three millions of francs. _________________________________________________ A KANSAS PAPER, which finds it expedient to avoid personalities, says: "MRS. GUERNSEY, of Fort Scott, recently fired at some burglars, and next day one of the aldermen had his arm amputated." _________________________________________________ SCIENTIFIC. - Languid but Learned Swell: "No, fact is I never dance. Find physical exercise bad for brain. Going rather deep into natural history - aw -". Ignorant Little Creature: "What do you mean ? Are you keeping rabbits ?" - Judy. _________________________________________________ THE ' Scotsman's' Londonn correspondent hears that one of our most popular dramatists is about to bring out a play which will present JOHN KNOX in a singularly novel character - that of exhibiting an intense feeling of love for MARY STUART, and at the same time struggling with the insane passion. _________________________________________________ FOR THE NEXT BUDGET. - "A tax of two-pence a day on all foreigners in France" is said to be under consideration. Does not this suggest to MR. GLADSTONE a splendid opportunity ? Let him only impose a tax on all foreigners in England, being organ-grinders or street-musicians of any description, and he will so endear himself to the whole country that we shall hear no more of Conservative reaction. - Punch. __________________________________________________