21 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.  See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom.  Don't disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put your waste paper bin on your desk and label it 'In'. 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.  Once everyone has got over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 6. In the memo field of all your cheque stubs, write 'For smuggling diamonds'. 7. Finish all your sentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy'. 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10. Order diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify that your drive-through order is to go. 12. Sing along at the opera. 13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme 14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day. 15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. 16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom. 17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!  I won!" 18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the car park yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!" 19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." 20.  Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle.  When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way. 21. Highlight your shoes.  Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this. NB *Avoid men in white lab coats; they will take you away *Do not play the above jokes on any police officer unless at a party *When these are executed ensure you are a safe distance from most co-workers as most likely they will not pass up the chance for revenge.   Feed Your Faith And Your Doubts Starve To Death