"If God is for you", "Who can be against you ?".."God helps those who help themselves." ----- -----Forwarded Message----- From: Judy Sent: Feb 14, 2009 8:15 PM To: Subject: New Stock Market Terms Found this list and thought it may help: CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement resulting in an investor mistaking himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET -- Any period during which the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower. P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps falling. BROKER -- What your broker makes you. STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell. STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock. STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected. MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks. CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Any 2008 investor who's now locked up in a nut-house. PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use. SHORT SELLING -- What follows after losing your shirt in the market.