----- Original Message ----- From: Corinne Domingo <jokes@ABOUT.COM> To: <JOKES@ABLIST.ABOUT.COM> Sent: Wednesday, January 26, 2000 8:41 AM Subject: ABOUT.COM JOKE OF THE DAY > ABOUT.COM JOKE OF THE DAY > Wednesday, January 26, 2000 > > -------------------------- TODAY'S JOKE ------------------------- > Brought to you by Humor Guide Mike Durrett > (http://humor.about.com/index.htm) > > The Top 10 Signs You're Being Stalked by Martha Stewart > > 10. You get a threatening note made up of letters cut out of a magazine > with pinking shears, and they're all the same size, the same font, and > precisely lined up in razor-sharp rows. > > 9. That telltale lemon slice in the dog's water bowl. > > 8. On her show she makes a gingerbread house that looks exactly like your > split-level, right down to the fallen-over licorice downspout and the stuck > half-open graham cracker garage door. > > 7. You find your pet bunny on the stove in an exquisite tarragon, rose > petal and saffron demi-glace, with pecan-crusted hearts of palm and a > delicate mint-fennel sauce. > > 6. The unmistakable aroma of potpourri follows you even after you leave the > bathroom. > > 5. You discover that every napkin in the entire house has been folded into > a swan. > > 4. No matter "where" you eat, your place setting always includes an oyster > fork. > > 3. Twice this week you've been the victim of a drive-by doilying. > > 2. You wake up in the hospital with a concussion and endive stuffing in > every orifice. > > 1. You awaken one morning with a glue gun pointed squarely at your temple. > > > (This joke was brought to you by Good Clean Fun, a Humor.About.com Netlink. > http://humor.about.com/msub2.htm) > > > > For more daily laughs, check out: > Humor: http://humor.about.com/index.htm > Christian Humor: http://christianhumor.about.com/index.htm > Political Humor: http://politicalhumor.about.com/index.htm > Sick Jokes: http://sickjokes.about.com/index.htm > > ------------------------ Deal of the Day --------------------- > Looking for New Ways to Grow Your Business? 50% Off Direct E-Mail > Marketing! Did you know that permission e-mail marketing typically yields > response rates that are 10X that of banners? Start promoting your business > the smart, spam-free way. Visit http://clicks.about.com/245/2016.htm?PM=146 > and receive 50% Off this effective marketing vehicle. > > > ::::::::::::::::::::::: Advertisement :::::::::::::::::::::::: > You must help Cyber Cister find her brother ShopNow Man. Find him in time > you could win the Grand Prize of $5,000. Click to Win $5,000! > http://clicks.about.com/50/2042.htm?PM=146 Sponsored by ShopNow.com- -"shop > the way you want to shop" & JeffersPet.com- - "Your One Stop Pet Shop!" > > > ------------------------ Parting Words ----------------------- > The About.com JOKE OF THE DAY is a free newsletter featuring a daily dose > of humor from the About.com Guides. http://diversions.about.com/jokes/index.htm > > SUBSCRIBE AND UNSUBSCRIBE: To add a new email address visit > http://diversions.about.com/jokes/index.htm or to remove your email address > from this newsletter, visit > http://diversions.about.com/jokes/unsubscribe.htm and click on the > unsubscribe button. > > I'M RIGHT HERE: Is this your idea of a joke? Feel free to tell me what you > think or pass along a joke of your own. I love a good laugh, and would > enjoy hearing what you have to say. I read all my email and will do my very > best to get back to you. > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Corinne Domingo, About.com Laugh Manager > mailto:jokes@about.com > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > http://About.com > Human Guides, Human Interests. > > --------------------------------- > *About This Newsletter* > You are currently subscribed to the Joke of the Day newsletter. >