If Cars Were More Like Computers There's a report that a computer industry honcho once said, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." Well, if cars were more like computers... 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason and you would just accept this, restart and drive on. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to start, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats. 6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads. 7. The oil, water temperature and alternator lights would be replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light. 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt. 9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off. 10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 11. All GM car buyers would be required to purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally (a division of GM) road maps, even though they neither needed nor wanted them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 percent or more. 12. Every time a car company introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as those on the old car. 13. You'd press the "Start" button to shut off the engine. Anyone ready for a trip back to the "Good Old Days?"