Dave, I am a little slow in answering but wanted to tell you that as a "step-daughter" it is very important to me to get my daddy's (stepfather) opinions and approvals. He has always been more objective with me than my mom. I think it is because as young girls we are raised to believe mothers are always right and therefore they always think they are. LOL I have to grown sons and though my mother always believed they would turn out to be demons children, my father always told me to give them their space, trust their judgement, and let them make their own mistakes. It was hard to do but I did and when my oldest was 17 and I was so afraid that he would get mixedup with the "gang " crowds or get intoall kinds of trouble. He told me that he couldn't!! When I asked Why? He said "Because that is not the way you raised us" Yes after many tears..of joy.. I realized that is all we can do and be there when they need us as your daughter needs you now. I know without my father beside me whether he told me I was right or wrong I could never have raised to very fine, hard working and well love men (they hate it when I call them boys as they are now 21 and 24). Hope this helps and beleive me your daughter must love you very much and you must have done a great job. I have NEVER asked my "birth" father for anything especially advice. Take care and know you are loved and respected both on and off the web. Toni PS I also think you have come to the right decission in regards to your son.