This One's For You, M.T. (from the "Sunday Afternoon Rocking" series) Between cruising the skies in his parachuted flying contraption, ostensibly on the look out for "Injuns and revenuers", he was busy chatting to folks and inviting them to his rural farm abode that sounded like a slice of heaven on earth, crazy glued somewhere in the mountains of eastern Tennessee. Never mind that he threatened to send his guests up to admire the view from his lookout tower, and then cut the rope ladder and leave them hanging. Whether he was capable of that we did not know, but we knew this gent could keep us all entertained at the same time he was busy encouraging and helping out. Between his devilish good humor, and ornery threats, he was busy volunteering for this and that, giving of his time to genealogy researchers, among others. He dished out smiles to folks who needed them, and he dished out encouragement and support to folks who needed that. He spent hours on the net, giving unselfishly of his abilities in research. Apparently he had become a one-man welcome center and tour guide for anyone researching his area, and spent many hours shepherding them over the hills and around the bluffs, ironing out their Gedcoms, and kindly providing extensive look ups and information. In short, he was one of those angels with crooked halos we meet on the net, on our lists, on our sites, there with a ready grin and good humor, quick to offer a friendly hand, and just as quick to charm us with a load of southern repartee. It has happened more times than I can count now, in these years cyber space has become a part of my world. I grow to almost "know" a person, to like a person, to certainly trust a person in terms of the work I do on the net. Those of you who have made the net a bit of your personal community know what I am speaking of. Sometimes we meet them in person, as my husband and I once did this man, and sometimes we never see a face or hear a voice, but know them just the same. And we build friendships, and working relationships, and look forward to chats or just a casual "thinking about you…hope you are fine!" But many times, after a period, the people behind the e-mails become our friends, and a part of our world. And something else has happened, more than a few times. Cyber space is not an insulated world, and the people behind the messages that pop up on our screen are human, and prone to all of the natural phases of life that we ourselves are, and our neighbors are and the people we see in the flesh everyday are. And so it is that, from time to time we open our e-mail to get the same sort of shock we get in everyday life. We learn a friend has left this world and moved on to another one. And so it was, that this week I learned a dear friend was gone, and never again would I "hear" his light hearted bantering or his helpful kindly words. A shock it was, and I venture to say that many of you, if you have been researching long or belonged to many of our history and genealogy lists, also have known such a sadness for a person you never met on the streets of your town or city. Perhaps you asked yourself why it was you felt such sadness over a person who was not "really" in your world…and perhaps you immediately smacked that thought down because you knew that person indeed WAS really in your world. And you may also have immediately realized that "knowing" that person, even in this way, was well worth the sadness and pain you feel at losing this person. And as surely as we must find a way to come to closure and acceptance of those who are physically in our world, we must do the same in regard to those who enter our world by this medium. Long ago I learned that in the midst of sadness and pain, the route to peace is to find the meaning in what you knew of the life of that person. M.T. never passed up a good joke, never passed up a fun to poke and rib and have a good time. M.T. also never passed up a chance to make someone smile, to encourage them, to appreciate their efforts, or to just plain find the words to make them feel better. M.T. loved that farm of his and sent pictures of beauty and nature so we could all share it with him. He gave a great deal of volunteer time in his community, and he set up a haven that he welcomed all to with open arms. I don't think M.T. would want anyone crying in their soup over him, as he simply was not that kind of person. He loved life and he loved people and he loved doing for others. He loved nature and he loved history; he loved his wife and family and he loved good friends; he loved a good time and he loved giving folks a smile. Quite simply, about all I knew of the man was his penchant for giving to others. If there is a way to say "Thanks M.T.", then that way is probably to greet the world with a smile, helping others smile, looking out for nature, giving a bit of ourselves to other folks, lending a helping hand...and now and then when we do these things, saying...."This one's for you, M.T.!" This is also for those of you who, if you have not already, surely will experience the same sort of thing, as you carve a niche on the web. I hope you will remember that caring for folks out there on e-mail that we may never see or meet in person does not mean welcoming undue pain that could be avoided. Instead, as in all friendships, however they evolve, it means enriching our lives in yet another way. What we gain from good people far outweighs the inevitable pain of losing them. And I am not sure we ever truly lose them at all. For those of you who wish to meet my friend, Morgan County, Tn. Host Julie Cromwell has put up a site in M.T. Davidson's honor: http://www.tngenweb.org/morgan/MT.html jan Copyright ©2001, 2000JanPhilpot ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (Note: Afternoon Rocking messages are meant to be passed on, meant to be shared...simply share though e-mail as written without alterations...and in entirety. If planned for a publication, permission must be granted by the author. Please forward sufficient information concerning the nature and intent of the publication. Thanks, jan) Sunday Afternoon Rocking columns are distributed weekly on the list Sunday Rocking. This is not a "reply to" list, and normally only one message per week will come across it, that being the column. To subscribe send email to Sundayrocking-subscribe@topica.com Comments about the content of these messages can be sent to unicorn@sun-spot.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~