"Returning Roots" (from the Sunday Afternoon Rocking series) Afternoon All, I am guilty. I never intended to be guilty, or to have a piece of someone's roots that could indeed be returned, but I am guilty...and perhaps many of you are as well. It happened quite by accident. Many years ago, I had a beloved step-grandfather. I loved him for the care he took of my grandmother, the enjoyment he gave her last days, and I loved him for who he was by his own merits. Not long before he died, he came many miles to visit, and he brought with him an ancient picture of folks in old fashioned dress. In the photograph was his own mother as a young girl, and he brought the photograph, not because I had any ancestral ties to it, but because I had a talent and he wished to ask me to use it. He asked me to do an oil painting of that photograph for him. I fully intended to do that and wanted very much to please him...but the time for fulfilling the request never seemed to evolve, and not long afterwards, he died. It bothered me that I had never fulfilled his request, and there have been times when I have thought of going ahead with the project even though there seemed to no longer be a point for doing so. For over twenty years that photograph as been in my possession, meaningless to me except as something that was beloved by someone I cared a great deal for. Somewhere in the world, this man had children, although I am not at all sure who they are, or where they might be found. They were never particularly close to our family, and I am not even sure that they were particularly close to their father. I am sure they have no clue I have this picture (perhaps do not even know who I am), and they may not realize the picture even exists. However, I have no doubt but that if I just took a bit of time, and really applied myself to the chore, I could probably find them. And chances are, that among these children, or their children, is someone who would treasure and appreciate that photograph for reasons far greater and more meaningful than my own. I do not believe my story is either unusual or one that few can relate to. Indeed I believe that many of us have found ourselves the possessor of another's roots unintentionally. And I believe there comes a time when one must finally quit "putting off until tomorrow", and actually make the effort to return something more precious than money to those who can appreciate. This has been heavy on my mind for a good long while, and before the year is out, I hope discover the "rightful owner", to package that photograph up and mail it to a person who will be surprised and pleasured to receive an unexpected "gift" that was never mine to hold on to in the first place. With that "gift" I will send my apologies for waiting so long to return roots that were not my own. Yes, I believe my story is not so unusual and many of us find ourselves in such a position. But I think there is yet another story that is less unusual still, and that the most of us are guilty of. We also find ourselves the possessor of our own roots not shared with others that have the same right to those as ourselves. In most cases, it is not that we are selfish, or wish to keep what has descended to us "all to ourselves", but that we never really take the time to share. Perhaps it is a box of family photographs, perhaps it is a family document, a bundle of old letters. Perhaps it is a series of stories we received from an elder only because we were in the right place at the right time to hear these and our cousins were not. Perhaps there are physical keepsakes...a quilt, a piece of glassware, a basket, a piece of furniture...things we certainly will not let go of...but could easily make a photograph of and provide the story behind for another, that all of the family will know what exists and how it played a part in an ancestral story. Those are things we treasure, and we are so grateful to have these bits and pieces of our past, so relieved that somehow those things managed to wind up in our hands after traveling throughout the generations of a family. But, honestly, regardless of the legality of the issue...ethically, do those things belong to us any more than they belong to other descendents of a family? Do other cousins not have the same right to treasure those roots as ourselves? Sigh. And yes, I too am guilty. I have shared with many, but not with all. I have made copies of photographs and documents, recorded stories, and sent roots to many, often to cousins that I did not even know before the net...but oddly, for some reason, many of the cousins with actually greater blood ties and closer in relationship, have not received such a package from me. I didn't mean to slight anyone, and I truly have had it "in the back of my mind" to create such a package and share what I had. But I have not done so in every case. Once again, I think it is time for a "reality check" and a good look at my own mortality, what I hold that others may well treasure as much as myself and certainly have a right to as much as myself. It is time for me to realize that unless I do today what I can do, the other descendents of my lines may never have access to what I have. "Tomorrow" may never come, and putting off until tomorrow is not really an option if I truly am committed to what I write about and espouse so often. It is time for me to begin returning roots. just a thought, jan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (Note: Afternoon Rocking messages are meant to be passed on, meant to be shared...simply share as written without alterations...and in entirety. Thanks, jan) Sunday Afternoon Rocking columns are distributed weekly on the list Sunday Rocking. This is not a "reply to" list, and normally only one message per week will come across it, that being the column. To subscribe send email to [email protected] Comments about the content of these messages can be sent to [email protected] If you enjoy Sunday Afternoon Rocking, you may also enjoy the following newsletters: "These Thoughts": A newsletter (non-reply list) sends short, positive, inspirational messages to educators each Monday and Wednesday. To subscribe send e-mail to [email protected] "From the Heart". A newsletter (non-reply list) will begin in October sending one short positive message per weekday. 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