>Resent-Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1998 18:26:42 -0700 (PDT) >Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1998 18:23:14 -0700 >From: Sunni Bloyd <sunni@mail.cnetech.com> >Reply-To: sunni@mail.cnetech.com >Organization: SunStrike >X-Mailer: Mozilla 3.0Gold (Win95; U) >Old-To: SWEDEN-L@rootsweb.com, Sunny Smith <smiths@wserver.arc.losrios.cc.ca.us>, > pjrowell@jps.net, NORCAL-L@rootsweb.com, > Nancy Vigran <tbycatacres@lightspeed.net>, > janet mcdonld <bizaara@juno.com>, George Feaver <GCFEAVER@aol.com>, > Coleen Power <Caliopecjp@aol.com>, Carl J Bradshaw <cjbrad@svpal.org>, > Cara Witte <CaraWitte@aol.com>, BLOYD-GROUP-L@rootsweb.com >Subject: Humor: The census-taker's understudy >To: NORCAL-L@rootsweb.com >Resent-From: NORCAL-L@rootsweb.com >X-Mailing-List: <NORCAL-L@rootsweb.com> archive/latest/30981 >X-Loop: NORCAL-L@rootsweb.com >Resent-Sender: NORCAL-L-request@rootsweb.com > >HUMOROUS LINKS: Peter W Bond <peter.bond@lineone.net> writes: >"I bought an old book dated 1888 by Artemus Ward. It was about >his great adventurist journey across the United States with his >travelling show. One chapter is regarding the Census. Read on." > >The Sences taker in our town bein taken sick he deppertised me to >go out for him one day, and as he was too ill to giv me >informashun how to perceed, I was consekently compelled to go it >blind. Sittin down by the road side I drawd up the follerin >list of questions which I proposed to ax the peple I visited: > Wat's your age? > Whar was you born? > Air you marrid, and if so how do you like it? > How many children hav you, and do they sufficiently resemble > you as to proclood the possibility of their belongin to any > of your nabers? > Did you ever hav the measels, and if so how many? > Hav you a twin brother several years older than yourself? > How many parents have you? > Do you read Watt's Hims regler? > Do you use boughten tobacker? > Wat's your fitin wate? > Air you trubeld with biles? > How does your meresham culler? > State whether you air blind, deaf, idiotic or got the heaves. > Do you know any Opry singers, and if so how much do they > owe you? > What's the average of virtoo on the Ery Canawl? > If 4 barrils of Emptins pored onto a barn floor will kiver it > how many plase can Dion Boureicault write in a year? > Is Beans a regler article of diet in your family? > How many chickins hav you, on foot and in shell? > Air you aware that Injianny whisky is used in New York > shootin galrys instid of pistils, and that it shoots > furthest? > Was you ever at Niagry Falls? > Was you ever in the Penitentiary? > State how much pork, impendin crysis, Dutch cheeze, > popler suvrinty, standard poetry, childrens' strainers, > slave code, catnip, red flannel, ancient histry, pickled > tomaters, old junk, perfoomery, coal ile, liberty, hoop > skirt, &c., you av on hand. > >But it didn't work. I got into a row at the fust house I stopt to >with some old maids. Disbeliven the answers they giv in regard to >their ages I endevered to open their mouths and look at their >teeth, same as they do with hosses, but they floo into a vilent >rage and tackled me with brooms and sich. Takin the senses >requires experiunse, like any other bizniss. > > * * * * * >-- >Sunni Bloyd >CaGenWeb County Coordinator--Fresno, Glenn & Kings Counties >http://www.compuology.com/cagenweb/fresncty.htm >http://www.compuology.com/cagenweb/kingscty.htm >http://www.compuology.com/cagenweb/glenncty.htm >JonJan Felines--American Shorthair & American Wirehairs >http://www.cheta.net/connect/cat/gallery/JonJan/default.htm > > > Carol De Priest <http://members.xoom.com/SandSurfer/home.htm> *** check it out - work in progress ***