Your Monday morning chuckle: Martha's Way: * Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. My Way: * Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway. ============= Martha's Way: * To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. My Way: * Buy Hungry Jack Mashed Potato Mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year. ============= Martha's Way: * Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains. My Way: * Feed your garbage disposal and there won't be any leftovers. ============= Martha's Way: * When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead & there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. My Way: * Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you. ============= Martha's Way: * If you accidentally over-salt a dish, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt. My Way: * If you over-salt a dish while you're cooking that's too darn bad. My motto is: I made it, you will eat it, I don't care how bad it tastes! ============= Martha's Way: * To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water. It sinks, it's fresh, but if it rises to the surface, throw it away. My Way: * Eat, cook or use the egg anyway. If you feel bad later, you will know it wasn't fresh. ============= Martha's Way: * To cure a headache, take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. My Way: * Martha, dear, the only reason this works is because you can't rub a lime on your forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and then the problem isn't the headache anymore; it is because you are now blind. ============= Martha's Way: * Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. My Way: * What leftover wine? ============= Martha's Way: * Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potatoes on the stains and rinse with water. My Way: * Mashed potatoes will now be replacing the antibacterial soap in the handy dispenser next to my sink. ============= Martha's Way: * Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it. My Way: * Brown sugar is supposed to be "soft"? ============= Martha's Way: * Now look what you can do with Alka-Seltzer: To clean a toilet, drop two tablets in, wait 20 min, brush and flush. To remove a stain from a vase or glass cruet, fill with water and drop in two tablets. To polish jewelry, drop two Alka-Seltzer tabs into a glass of water and immerse jewelry for two minutes. To clean a thermos bottle, fill with water and drop in four tabs and let sit for an hour or more (if necessary). My Way: (a real time saver) * Put your jewelry, vases and thermos in the toilet. Add a bottle of Alka-Seltzer tabs and you have solved a whole bunch of problems at once. For the really bold......drop in your dentures too