Animal Jests - Jamaica IX. Louse an' Dog-flea have a quarrel. Dog-flea, he said, "Brar Louse, when him ketchin' yo' a head, how you manage?" Louse said, "Brar, me gwine a knot knot." Louse said to Dog-flea, say, "Brar, when him ketchin' you, how you manage?" Dog-flea said, "Me gwine a seam in." Dog-flea said, "Den, Louse, when dem a comb you, whe' you go?" Louse said, "I lie down flat 'pon de meat." Louse said to Dog-flea, "Den, Brar, when dem dip a hot water how you manage?" Dog-flea say, "Come, come, sah, dat don't fe yo' business!" So de quarrel end. X. Ground-lizard and Ground-rat were two friends. Rat said to Ground-lizard, "How black nigger sta'?" Lizard say, "Oh, dey ugly-lookin' chaps'." Rat said, "Yes? I see dem but nebber can stan' to look pon dem. Soon as dem see me dem say, 'Look Groun'-rat! look Groun'-rat!' an' take a stone to kill me, so I get out a dem sight." Ground-lizard say, "When dey buck up on me suddenly, I jump, but when I go a little way, turn round on dem an' look; dat how I know dey ugly-lookin' chap.' XI. Puss and Dog went out journeying one day and they found a thruppence. So they divided and now the trouble was they didn' know which thing to buy with a penny ha'penny. Dog said, "Brar Puss, I goin' to take fe my quattie to buy a quattie worth of look'." Puss say, "I won' buy 'look', I wi' buy cattle!" So the Puss buy a pair of lizard and let them go on the run, and they run to breed. That is why you see a cat always after lizard, and a dog is always looking, looking, looking and doing nothing, XII. Han' a go market. Hear beg Han' a buy meat. When Han' come a pass, he cut piece of de meat. Den Mosquito see him, an' Mosquito come fe go tell Hear say Han' cut de meat. Den eb'ry time Mosquito go to tell Hear, Han' knock him. He come back again--"Hearie!" Han' knock him (striking his ear with his hand). Couldn't tell him yet. XIII. Monkey said to Goat, "I want to make a ball and I have a jacket I don't want to wear; so I sent for you to see if you will buy the jacket." And said, "Try on the jacket, see if it will fit you." So Goat try on the jacket, and Monkey said, "It kyan't fit you better!" Goat said, "Fit? fit? fit? (strutting about looking at himself) fit fe tre-ew!" So Goat buy the jacket. XIV. Anansi an' Tiger was traveling going thru' a stream of water. Anansi want to find if Tiger can tell a story. Anansi foot went right down on a sort of stone in de water. Anansi say, "I mash a fish!" Tiger holla out say, "I smell de fat!" XV. Tacoomah say, "Anansi, yo' ma dead!"--"A' right! bit's wort' a meat fe sarve t'day."--"Anansi, yo' ma wake!"--"A' right! one somebody kyan't live a worl'." NOTE: Witticisms. X. In Tremearne, FL 22:222-223, Lizard and Mouse both court a woman. Mouse tells her that Lizard is blind, can't see at night; Cock tells her that Rat is a thief, can't be seen in the market. In Koelle, 174-177, Toad and Rat have a wager to see if one can do what the other cannot. Toad passes a crowd with a whole skin; Rat is pursued with sticks and stones. XI. See number 48. XII. From Alexander Archibald, near Mandeville. XIII. From Mrs. Matilda Hall, Harmony Hall. See number 4. XVI. This and the next two witticisms were written out by some young lads in Bethlehem, Santa Cruz Mountains. Jamaica Anansi Stories ,Martha Warren Beckwith, New York, Published By The American Folk-Lore Society, G. E. Stechert & Co., Agents. [1924] and is now in the public domain. Come visit us at. "Keeper of Stories". http://www.newkeeperofstories.com/