>Date > > >>> > >Actual answering machine greetings: >>> > > > >>> > >>> > > > A is for academics, B is for beer. >>> > > > One of those reasons is why >>> > > > we're not here.... So leave a message >>> > > > ~~~~~ >>> > > > Hi. This is John. >>> > > > If you are the phone company, >>> > > > I already sent the money. >>> > > > If you are my parents, please send money. >>> > > > If you are my financial aid institution, >>> > > > you didn't lend me enough money. >>> > > > If you are my friends, you owe me money. >>> > > > If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty >>> > of >>> > money. >>> > > > ~~~~~ >>> > > > Hi. Now you say something. >>> > > > ~~~~~ >>> > > > Hi, I'm not home right now but my >>> > > > answering machine is, so you >>> > > > can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep. >>> > > > ~~~~~ >>> > > > Hello. I am David's answering >>> > > > machine. What are you? >>> > > > ~~~~~ >>> > > > (From a Japanese man in Toronto:) >>> > > > He-ro! This is Sato. If you leave message, I >>> > call >>> > you soon. >>> > > > If you leave a sexy message, I call sooner! >>> > > > ~~~~~ >>> > > > Hi! John's answering machine is >>> > > > broken. This is his refrigerator. >>> > > > Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick >>> > > > your message to myself with >>> > > > one of these magnets. >>> > > > ~~~~~ >>> > > > Hello, this is Sally's microwave. >>> > > > Her answering machine just eloped with her tape >>> > deck, >>> > > > so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you >>> > > > want anything cooked while you leave your >>> > message, >>> > > > just hold it up to the phone. >>> > > > ~~~~~ >>> > > > Hello, you are talking to a machine. >>> > > > I am capable of receiving messages. >>> > > > My owners do not need siding, windows, >>> > > > or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. >>> > > > They give to charity through their office >>> > > > and do not need their picture taken. >>> > > > If you're still with me, leave your name and >>> > > > number and they will get back to you. >>> > > > ~~~~~ >>> > > > This is not an answering machine- >>> > > > this is a telepathic thought-recording device. >>> > > > After the tone, think about your name, your >>> > > > reason for calling and a number where I can >>> > > > reach you, and I'll think about returning your >>> > call. >>> > > > ~~~~~ >>> > > > Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding >>> > someone >>> > I don't like. >>> > > > Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, >>> > it's >>> > you. >>> > > > ~~~~~ >>> > > > Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I >>> > > > can't answer the phone right now. >>> > > > Leave a message, and then wait by your phone >>> > > > until I call you back. >>> > > > ~~~~~ >>> > > > If you are a burglar, then we're >>> > > > probably at home cleaning our >>> > > > weapons right now and can't come to the >>> > > > phone. Otherwise, we probably >>> > > > aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message. >>> > > > ~~~~~ >>> > > > You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting >>> > heavy. >>> > > > You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually >>> > losing >>> > your >>> > > > willpower and your ability to resist >>> > suggestions. >>> > > > When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly >>> > compelled to >>> > > > leave your name, number, and a message. >>> > > > ~~~~~ >>> > > > Please leave a message. However, >>> > > > you have the right to remain silent. >>> > > > Everything you say will be recorded >>> > > > and will be used by us. >>> > > > ~~~~~ >>> > > > Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. >>> > > > We can't pick up the phone >>> > > > right now, because we're doing something we >>> > > > really enjoy. Sonya likes doing >>> > > > it up and down, and I like doing it left to >>> > > > right ... real slowly. So leave a >>> > > > message, and when we're done >>> > > > brushing our teeth, we'll get back >>> > > > to you. >>> > > >>> > >>> > >> >>--0-1957747793-936220520=:29814-- >> > > > Betty @[email protected] GATHERING OF THE PAST http://members.tripod.com/~TENNESSEESUE/index.html