Hello, Yesterday I received the mail which included the newly received "old photos" my "distant cousin" in CT had received the week before. She sent me the photo of Rhoda (1800-1883 from Westport, MA) and a phone of her daughter, Mary "Molly," - labeled as Mary Dexter, our aunt. Mrs. Mary (CLARK) DEXTER was the adoptive mother of my grandmother ! I immediately went to the pictures of my grandmother that I have in my computer. I have a few pictures from like the 1920's and 1930's, and then a few from when I knew her in the 1950's. I printed out a picture of my grandparents from 1920's or 1930's and compared it to Mrs. Dexter's picture. There is definitely a family resemblance. I now sent the 2 pictures of Mary, my grandmother, and Mary Dexter, to my CT "cousin" and she said, "I now believe without a doubt that the 2 ladies were related !! The picture of Rhoda is older and less clear, but the CT cousin said that my grandmother also looked like her. I found a picture of me which could be compared, and she said "I" even looked like Rhoda ! :o) It was several years ago when we had already compared a picture of her grandmother and my grandmother, and we saw the family resemblance then. Yes, Lita, I have an imagination, especially for genealogy. And, IF Clara, married daughter of Mrs. Dexter, did "get pregnant" during the summer of 1888, there were several things which could have happened. She could have had an "affair." But, she was part of 2 well-established, well-known families in the town. She could hav been "on vacation" and met someone and "stuff happened." Or, she was raped. There were large farms in Killingly, CT, and the DEXTER farm was one of them. So, there would have been many farm-hands living in the town. And, Killingly was one of the towns which people traveled through - on the way to somewhere else in CT or MA. Another little piece of the story is that Clara and her father seem to have been estranged. During their later years, John and Mary in Melrose, MA, would visit their family in Killingly, CT. I know that Clara's son (only child) spent a lot of time at his grandparents' home. I do not know whether Clara also spent time there. When Mrs. Dexter died in Apr. 1899, her remains were brought back to Killingly to be buried there. When Mr. Dexter died in 1905 at the Tewksbury (MA) State Hospital, his remains were buried on the grounds of the State Hospital - in a relatively unmarked grave. He had been there for one year, and had only 3 visitors. One was his married sister from Killingly, Mrs. Abby CROSBY. One was a man-friend from Boston, MA. And, one was "Mamie." I believe that was probably my grandmother as a teen-ager. She would have been living in Boston in "The Temporary Home." I don't know how she would have gotten to Tewksbury, but maybe "Aunt Abby" would have picked her up. Or, possibly that man-friend from Boston. Notice that John's only child, Clara, did not visit him. I did write up this long, complicated story 4 years ago. I need to look it over and add a few comments. And, I can now add more pictures to the back of it. Betty (near Lowell, MA, USA) P.S. Yes, Cec, I should have had a better subject line when I started my grandmother's story this week. (I have posted this story on the MA and CT Lists for at least 5 years, so there is more details there.)

Hi Betty, I keep wondering why "that boy or young man" told the adoptive grandmother that she must tell your grandmother someday who the father was, and why your grandmother was hidden in a back room when company came. Do you suppose your grandmother "looked like" her adoptive father, and people would have begun talking about that? Oh, I get so caught up in your story. I do so hope you eventually solve the mystery. I wonder if any of your research is on WorldConnect. I haven't looked there, but I will check the MA and CT lists. By the way, I found my mother's deceased birth parents and her live half siblings (4 girls and 1 boy) in WI and CA. I hosted the siblings for 5 days here in WA State and we all went to see my mom. It was the happiest day of Mom's life. I also did a costly DNA test of the 5 siblings and Mom. Happily, Mom matched each siblings DNA by 25% - each in a different way. I hope your story turns out as beautiful as Mom's. Cec -----Original Message----- From: can-usa-migration-bounces@rootsweb.com [mailto:can-usa-migration-bounces@rootsweb.com] On Behalf Of Betty Sent: Saturday, August 08, 2009 3:17 AM To: can-usa-migration@rootsweb.com Subject: [CAN-USA-MIG] Update on my Grandmother's Story Hello, Yesterday I received the mail which included the newly received "old photos" my "distant cousin" in CT had received the week before. She sent me the photo of Rhoda (1800-1883 from Westport, MA) and a phone of her daughter, Mary "Molly," - labeled as Mary Dexter, our aunt. Mrs. Mary (CLARK) DEXTER was the adoptive mother of my grandmother ! I immediately went to the pictures of my grandmother that I have in my computer. I have a few pictures from like the 1920's and 1930's, and then a few from when I knew her in the 1950's. I printed out a picture of my grandparents from 1920's or 1930's and compared it to Mrs. Dexter's picture. There is definitely a family resemblance. I now sent the 2 pictures of Mary, my grandmother, and Mary Dexter, to my CT "cousin" and she said, "I now believe without a doubt that the 2 ladies were related !! The picture of Rhoda is older and less clear, but the CT cousin said that my grandmother also looked like her. I found a picture of me which could be compared, and she said "I" even looked like Rhoda ! :o) It was several years ago when we had already compared a picture of her grandmother and my grandmother, and we saw the family resemblance then. Yes, Lita, I have an imagination, especially for genealogy. And, IF Clara, married daughter of Mrs. Dexter, did "get pregnant" during the summer of 1888, there were several things which could have happened. She could have had an "affair." But, she was part of 2 well-established, well-known families in the town. She could hav been "on vacation" and met someone and "stuff happened." Or, she was raped. There were large farms in Killingly, CT, and the DEXTER farm was one of them. So, there would have been many farm-hands living in the town. And, Killingly was one of the towns which people traveled through - on the way to somewhere else in CT or MA. Another little piece of the story is that Clara and her father seem to have been estranged. During their later years, John and Mary in Melrose, MA, would visit their family in Killingly, CT. I know that Clara's son (only child) spent a lot of time at his grandparents' home. I do not know whether Clara also spent time there. When Mrs. Dexter died in Apr. 1899, her remains were brought back to Killingly to be buried there. When Mr. Dexter died in 1905 at the Tewksbury (MA) State Hospital, his remains were buried on the grounds of the State Hospital - in a relatively unmarked grave. He had been there for one year, and had only 3 visitors. One was his married sister from Killingly, Mrs. Abby CROSBY. One was a man-friend from Boston, MA. And, one was "Mamie." I believe that was probably my grandmother as a teen-ager. She would have been living in Boston in "The Temporary Home." I don't know how she would have gotten to Tewksbury, but maybe "Aunt Abby" would have picked her up. Or, possibly that man-friend from Boston. Notice that John's only child, Clara, did not visit him. I did write up this long, complicated story 4 years ago. I need to look it over and add a few comments. And, I can now add more pictures to the back of it. Betty (near Lowell, MA, USA) P.S. Yes, Cec, I should have had a better subject line when I started my grandmother's story this week. (I have posted this story on the MA and CT Lists for at least 5 years, so there is more details there.)

I've been reading this thread with interest! I'm an adoptee who did resemble my adoptive mother but I'm 99.9% certain that we were not blood related. After a 20 plus year search I did find my birth family. My birth parents were deceased but I've been reunited with siblings and other family - an ongoing awesome experience! I discovered that my birth mother was adopted by family members. I've been an avid genealogist since a young age. Some of my birth and adoptive family members came from Germany where I definitely had ancestors on both sides not living all that far apart. I can't help but think that could be why I resembled my adoptive mother. Perhaps if I ever trace the family history back far enough, I will find that we were distant related - I don't know. Perhaps it was our ethnicity resulting in the resemblance. I do have some Irish in me and I don't think that my adoptive mother did. But perhaps the German features resulted in the resemblance. So I would say that you could find an adoption that did take place within the family. But there is a chance that there was just a resemblance. Good luck with solving the mystery and please keep us posted! - Mary ----- Original Message ----- From: "two_shoes" <two_shoes@comcast.net> To: <can-usa-migration@rootsweb.com> Sent: Saturday, August 08, 2009 11:01 PM Subject: Re: [CAN-USA-MIG] Update on my Grandmother's Story > Hi Betty, > > I keep wondering why "that boy or young man" told the adoptive > grandmother that she must tell your grandmother someday who the father > was, and why your grandmother was hidden in a back room when company > came. Do you suppose your grandmother "looked like" her adoptive > father, and people would have begun talking about that? Oh, I get so > caught up in your story. I do so hope you eventually solve the mystery. > > > I wonder if any of your research is on WorldConnect. I haven't looked > there, but I will check the MA and CT lists. > > By the way, I found my mother's deceased birth parents and her live half > siblings (4 girls and 1 boy) in WI and CA. I hosted the siblings for 5 > days here in WA State and we all went to see my mom. It was the > happiest day of Mom's life. I also did a costly DNA test of the 5 > siblings and Mom. Happily, Mom matched each siblings DNA by 25% - each > in a different way. I hope your story turns out as beautiful as Mom's. > > Cec > > > -----Original Message----- > From: can-usa-migration-bounces@rootsweb.com > [mailto:can-usa-migration-bounces@rootsweb.com] On Behalf Of Betty > Sent: Saturday, August 08, 2009 3:17 AM > To: can-usa-migration@rootsweb.com > Subject: [CAN-USA-MIG] Update on my Grandmother's Story > > Hello, > > Yesterday I received the mail which included the newly received "old > photos" > my "distant cousin" in CT had received the week before. She sent me > the > photo of Rhoda (1800-1883 from Westport, MA) and a phone of her > daughter, > Mary "Molly," - labeled as Mary Dexter, our aunt. Mrs. Mary (CLARK) > > DEXTER was the adoptive mother of my grandmother ! > > I immediately went to the pictures of my grandmother that I have in my > computer. I have a few pictures from like the 1920's and 1930's, and > > then a few from when I knew her in the 1950's. I printed out a > picture > of my grandparents from 1920's or 1930's and compared it to Mrs. > Dexter's > picture. There is definitely a family resemblance. > > I now sent the 2 pictures of Mary, my grandmother, and Mary Dexter, to > my CT > "cousin" and she said, "I now believe without a doubt that the 2 ladies > > were related !! > > The picture of Rhoda is older and less clear, but the CT cousin said > that my > grandmother also looked like her. I found a picture of me which could > be > compared, and she said "I" even looked like Rhoda ! :o) > It was several years ago when we had already compared a picture of her > grandmother and my grandmother, and we saw the family resemblance then. > > Yes, Lita, I have an imagination, especially for genealogy. And, IF > Clara, married daughter of Mrs. Dexter, did "get pregnant" during the > summer > of 1888, there were several things which could have happened. She > could > have had an "affair." But, she was part of 2 well-established, > well-known > families in the town. She could hav been "on vacation" and met > someone > and "stuff happened." Or, she was raped. There were large farms in > > Killingly, CT, and the DEXTER farm was one of them. So, there would > have > been many farm-hands living in the town. And, Killingly was one of > the > towns which people traveled through - on the way to somewhere else in CT > or > MA. > > Another little piece of the story is that Clara and her father seem to > have > been estranged. During their later years, John and Mary in Melrose, > MA, > would visit their family in Killingly, CT. I know that Clara's son > (only child) spent a lot of time at his grandparents' home. I do not > know > whether Clara also spent time there. When Mrs. Dexter died in > Apr. > 1899, her remains were brought back to Killingly to be buried there. > When Mr. Dexter died in 1905 at the Tewksbury (MA) State Hospital, his > remains were buried on the grounds of the State Hospital - in a > relatively > unmarked grave. He had been there for one year, and had only 3 > visitors. > One was his married sister from Killingly, Mrs. Abby CROSBY. One was a > > man-friend from Boston, MA. And, one was "Mamie." I believe that > was > probably my grandmother as a teen-ager. She would have been living in > > Boston in "The Temporary Home." I don't know how she would have > gotten to > Tewksbury, but maybe "Aunt Abby" would have picked her up. Or, > possibly > that man-friend from Boston. Notice that John's only child, Clara, > did > not visit him. > > I did write up this long, complicated story 4 years ago. I need to > look > it over and add a few comments. And, I can now add more pictures to > the > back of it. > > Betty (near Lowell, MA, USA) > > P.S. Yes, Cec, I should have had a better subject line when I > started my > grandmother's story this week. > > (I have posted this story on the MA and CT Lists for at least 5 years, > so > there is more details there.) > > > > > When you want to respond to a query or comment posted on this List, I > find it MUCH easier to post a new message -- remembering to include the > SUBJECT from the post you are responding to !! Please make sure there > is a SURNAME or place-name in the Subject. > > To search the archives: > http://archiver.rootsweb.com/cgi-bin/search?path=CAN-USA-MIGRATION > The information page is: > http://lists.rootsweb.com/index/other/Immigration/CAN-USA-MIGRATION.html > > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > CAN-USA-MIGRATION-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without > the quotes in the subject and the body of the message