Dear Jo, How I feel for you! I have just returned from a day in town - very wet and miserable - to find a huge amount of email on this one subject. Oh, how I understand. Please do not give up and be sure that all that you have done for others has been appreciated by almost everyone. You are always good natured and helpful, to the novice and to the more experienced. However simple or complicated the enquiry you are always calm and measured in your response. We are not afraid to ask. We (well, I, at least) are learning all the time. My slap-backs have been mainly in other fields and yes, IT HURTS! I can give you a recent example. We do B & B - in a very small way, and have had lots of lovely people who appreciate our way of doing things, but we had one booking right at the end of November and I realised the family of 5 would arrive whilst we were at an extremely important choir practice, a kind of dress rehearsal before Christmas performances. No matter, with their prior knowledge I arranged for my lovely neighbour to greet them and introduce them to the house. We returned as planned just before 6.30 p.m. and immediately I realised there was some kind of problem. My neighbour came in and said the equivalent of, "You have a bolshy one here! His family want to stay, but he is finding fault with everything and is really unpleasant." 5 minutes later he returned attacking us: it was not as it should be, the rooms were dirty and he would never try B & B again. He would stick wth hotels. I was polite, but reeling. None of us could see what he was complaining about, including the very house proud neighbour. I seethed and dwelled upon it for a long time. BUT we have had several sets of guests since, some absolutely lovely people and without being asked one couple said it was lovely, we were friendly and clean (I noted this word!) the bedding and food was of high quality. Only this morning another couple have just left after two nights. They attended a family wedding yesterday and said they were so happy here and would pass the word round that we were good. What has this to do with your case? Well. I was close to tears and also a bit afraid of continuing. Like you said, we could stop doing it. But equally like you and your impeccable research, we are good at it. We just have to develop a thicker skin and try not to change what obviously works so well. As for the computer - I notice that some on the list have offered - but do you also have a friendly local specialist who might be able to give it a good going over? Just ignore these rude insults and remember you are held in great regard by many. Happy New Year, here they say "Et surtout la sante" (and above all good health) Jean Wood http://www.cheziris.eu/index.htm http://www.cheziris.eu/Duterrau.htm http://www.saintes-fleur-de-sel.fr/index.htm > To: bristol_and_somerset@rootsweb.com > Date: Sat, 4 Jan 2014 15:37:15 +0000 > From: jojeremiah@dsl.pipex.com > Subject: Re: [B&S] A cautionary tale about helping with other people's family history > > On Sat, 04 Jan 2014 13:38:32 -0000, Salter, Colin > <colin.salter@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote: > >> l had a similar experience with a "new" cousin, with whom I shared >> information. After we had done so, I added her name to my notes, which I >> then sent her. She went off the deep end about privacy and betrayal of >> trust, even though they were private notes not intended for publication. >> l removed all trace in deference to her feelings. But we lost touch and >> it >> left a bad feeling.I'm over it now and as happy as ever to help and share >> privately. Hope you get past it soon to. > > Hi Colin, > > Thank you. I know I will get over my current feelings in time. It's sad to > lose a friend or as in your case lose touch with a new cousin. I expect > that you think of what you shared with your new cousin and what you could > have shared if you'd stayed in touch. Perhaps, in time, she may make > contact with you again. > > A new second cousin contacted me in the summer and revived my interest in > my family history, which was dwindling in all the heat we experienced last > year. It has been a pleasure to share what I know about our family and to > discover new things about his side of the family. > > So, it's not all doom and gloom here. > > Josephine > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to BRISTOL_AND_SOMERSET-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message